HUMOUR

Bay of Plenty Beacon, Volume 7, Issue 43, 25 January 1944, Page 2

HUMOUR

A tourist is a fellow who wants o be somewhere e.se even when he Jets there. The restful sea voyage is out for ;he duration, but one can tackle the. lever-end. ng prob.em of the iolding leek-chair on any porch. About all the average, family puts away for a rainy day is the umbrella they borrowed from their neighbour. Playwright: One scene in the revue. is laid, in an .allotment. Manager: Then at least tlii production will have a plot. And you never hear .of t'hc telephone company sending a bill to the wrong number. Look at the bright side.! Suppose you had to lather your lawn before cutting it! Remember the t,mc when Budget Day might mean lower taxes'? False Alarm The builder's foreman called at the. house across the way. ? "Excuse me, but are you the lady wot's singing?" "Yes,, li Avas singing. Why?" "Well, might I ask you not to hang out on that top not© so long, mum. The men have knocked oif twice, already, mistaking it for the dinner whistle." ( Here's Hoping Having detailed a fatigue part,/ to load a lorry with flour, the sergeant in charge went to see how they were getting on* They weren t. ."What are. you fellows waiting for ?" he shouted when he found them gazing expectantly at the sacks'. ''Sail right,, sergeant," said the wag of the party. "Those sacks are all marked 'self-raising,' so we're just hoping." He Shrank Hori., a Maori soldier,' went to his M.O. with a complaint that he must be very sick. The doctor examined him, but could find nothing wrong with him. Finally he said: "Why did you come to mc\, Hori? There's nothing wrong with you." "Py kori," said Hori, "there, must be something the matter with me. 'Cos I bin grow five inches, since I bin washed my trousers."

A Tender Chicken Wilkins: E thought of having a nice chicken for our Christmas dinner this time; 'can you tell me how to tell a nice, young tender chicken from an old tough one? Jenkins: Of course, I can. Wilkins: Well, how? ■Jenkins: By the teeth. Wilkins: Chickens have (no teeth. No, but B have. j