MOTHER'S BILLS

Bay of Plenty Beacon, Volume 7, Issue 22, 9 November 1943, Page 6

MOTHER'S BILLS

LIFE WITH FATHER" Father was always Iryinji to make Mother keep track of the household expenses. He had a full set 01. account hooks at home in addition to those in his office, and lvis ledger showed at a glance exactly how much a month or a year his clothes or his. club or his cigar bills amounted to. Before lie got married, these books had apparently given him great satisfaction but he said they were never the 1 same alter that. lie still knew "what his personal expenses were, but they "were microscopic compared to his household, expenses, and of these he knew no details. only the horrible total. Kvery once in so orten he tried to explain his system to jNlothcr. But Mother didn't feel that women should have anything to do "with accounts, any more than men should have to see. that the parlor was dusted. Kvery time Father showed her his ledger, she was unsympathetic. She had to do the mending and marketing and take care ot the children, find she told father she had no time to learn to be a bookkeeper too. Father knew Avhere some ol the money Avent, for part ol the expenses were charged. But?,, looking at the bills, he said that many of] the details were not clear to him, and most of the rest "were incredible. He tried to go over the bills regiw larly Avith Mother, demanding information about items he did not understand. But every now and then there, were items she didn t undeistand, either. She behaved as though the bill were a total stranger to her. This Avas one of the leatures that enraged Father most. Mother Avas one of those persons for whom charge accounts were inVented. When she bought something and charged it the first ol the next month seemed far away, and she hoped that. Father might be nice about it for once. She was a different women entirely Avhcn she had to pay cash. It was hard to get cash out of Father, and she thought twice before she could bear to pait with the. money. But shopping on a charge account was fun. Father did his level best to take the fun out ot' it. Oncb every month he held court and sat as judge, and required her to explain her crimes and misdemeanors. When she cried he said at the top of his voice that he wished to be reasonable but that he couldn't afford to spend money that Avayv and they avouUl have tp do better. What made household expenses jump up and down so ? "Anyone would, suppose that there would be some regularity after a while Avhich Avould let a man try to make plans, but L never know from one month to the next what, to expect.'' Mother said she didn't, cither. All she knew was that when the bills mounted up. it didn't mean that she had. been extravagant. ''■Well, it certainly means that you've spent a devil of a lot of nioncj'v" said Father. There Avere times Avhcn every month the totals Avent up and up: and then, just, as Father had resigned himself to this awful outgo, the expensed to his utter amazement, would take a sharp drop.

Mother didn't keep track ol' these totals, she Avas too busy watching small details, and Father never knew whether to tell her the good news or not. He always did Lell her. because he couldn't keep things to himself. I»nt lie always had cause to re si re t it. He told her in as disciplinary a manner as possible. He appeared at her door, waving the bills at her with a threatening scowl and said. "I've told you again and again thai you could .keep expenses down if you tried, and this shows L was right.'" Mother was al.ways startled at Lhese hul she didn't lose l:cr presence of mind. She. asked I'.nw much the amount was and said it was all dite to her good management, of course, and Father ought to give her the dilVerence. At this point Father suddenly found himself on the defensive and the entire moral lecture he had intended to deliver was wrecked. The more they talked, the clearer it seemed to Mother that he owed her that money. Only when lie was L-cky eou'd lie get out of her room kv it ho ut pay. 11 g it. He said, this was one- of the things about her that Avas enough to drive a man mad. The other tiling na> her lack of j >tem which was always- cropping up in new ways. Father at last in- 1 icnf'j'.l wkat seemed a perfect method of recording expenses. Whenever he gave, any money to Mother, he asked her what it was for and aajc a note of it. His idea was that .m s-> items added to those in 1,1 ie iii'-e lis, would show him ex-

uctlv where every dollar had gone. But they didn't. He consulted his notebook. "I, gave you six dollars on the 25th of last month," he said, "to buy a new coffeepot."' "Yes," Mother said, "because you broke your old one. \ou threw it right on the. lloor." Father frowned. "I'm not talking about that," he answered. '"I, am simply endeavouring to iind out from you, if I van "But. it's so silly to break a nice coifeepot. Clare, and there was nothing the matter with the coilee that morning: it was made just the same as it always is. "It wasn't," said l-at her. I't was made in a damned barbaric manner. "And f couldn't get another French one." Mother continued. "because that little shop had stopped selling them."' "Jslit 1 gave you six dollars to buy a new one," Father (irm'.y repeated, "and now I lind Hint you apparently got one at Lew-is and Conger's and charged it. Here's their lull : ■one brown earthenware drip ■collcepot, .") dollars.' "So 1: saved you a dollar.' Mother said triumphantly, "and you can hand it right over to me." "Bali! What nonsense you talk!'' Father cried. "Is there no way to get this thing straightened out? What did you do with the six dollars?" "Why, Clare! I can't tell you now. dear. Why didn't you ask at the time?" "OK my Cod!" Father groaned. "WaiL a moment." said Mother. "! spent four dollars and a hall lor that nice new umbrella 1! told you 1 wanted, and you said I didn't need a new one. but ,1 did. very much." Father wrote 'New L'mhrella for Yinnie" in his notebook. "And lliat must have been the week," Mother went, on "that. I paid for two extra days' washing, so that was two dollars more out of it, which makes it six-lifty. There's i.noLher lil'ty cents you owe me." "1, don't owe you anything." Father said. "You have managed to turn a coffeepot for me into an -umbrella for you. No matter what I give you money for. you buy something else with it, and if this- is to keep on !■ might as well not keep account books at all. I'm not made of money. You seem to think f have only to put my hand in my pocket to gel

Afother nol only thought this, she knew it. His wallet always was lull. That na> the provoking part of it - she knew he had tile money riiilit there, hilt slu.' had to aryue it :>uti <)l" him. "Wei 1.. you ran put your hand in your pocket and iiive juo that dol-lar-fil'ty this minute,'' sJie said. Father said lie didn't have, a dol-lar-fifty to spare and tried lo get back to his desk; hilt Mother wouldn't lot liim till he paid her. She said she wouldn't put up with injustice.