HUMOUR

Bay of Plenty Beacon, Volume 7, Issue 20, 2 November 1943, Page 3

HUMOUR

HARDER THAN A DIAMOND Dorothy (admiring her engagement ring): There's nothing in the world harder than a diamond is there ? » Howard: Yes, sweetheart —keeping up the instalment payments on it. a «• « ® WATCH ! A man travelling in South America entered a shop in the capital of a small state to buy a watch and chain. The watchmaker wrapped up the articles, and with them a revolver. "I say," observed tlic astonished traveller, "I) didn't want a revolver." The watchmaker said: "Why, you've bought a gold watch! You mean to keep it, don't you?" SLIDING SCALE "What is the rent of ims room, including the use of the piano?" "Well," suggested the landlady, "perhaps you'd be so good as to play me something first." ALL WORK AND NO PLAY An Australian boss employed a new hand. The next morning very early the boss went into the new hand's room to call him. To his surprise the new hand was caressed. "You are the best man I have, had yet," he exclaimed. 'Here you are up and dressed and got your boots, on. All the other chaps I've had to call every morning." "What!" exclaimed the new man. I'm just taking my boots otT to get to bed." | M EASY With his usual long-wincLednes?, the bore was describing one of his hair-breadth escapes. "There was I," lie said, "on a lonely road, miles, l'rom anywhere, with a blazing car. What, do you think I did.?" One weary listener stifled his yawns long enough to reply: "Tool? a long breath and blew it out,?' SPRING FASHIONS "The evenin'g wore on," continued the man who was telling the story. "Excuse me," interrupted the would-be wit. "but can tell me what the evening wore on that occasion?' "1 don't know that it is important," replied the story-teller, unperturbed. "If you must know, however, I believe it was the close of a spring day."