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Bay of Plenty Beacon, Volume 7, Issue 8, 21 September 1943, Page 2

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A SATIRICAL SKIT AMERICA'S WAR PRODUCTION. .HOARD (Re lore nee: B and 1> :U>24(>M File: Inv. Form A(1215-X.0.) A.s head of the Division ol" Provision I'or Revision AN as a man ol' prompt decision— Merton Oniric, Ph.D. in Calisthenics. IVD.Q. in Pathogenies He had just the proper background I'or the work. From the pasLoral aroma ol' Aloiiia, Oklahoma, With a pill a nee as a .salary in hand, His acceptance had been "whetted, even aided and abetted, By emolument that netted some live grand. So with energy ecstatic this fanatic left his attic And hastened on to Washington D.C. Where with verve and vim and vigour he went hunting for the Nigger In the woodpile of the W.P.B. After months of' patient process Merton's .spicular proboscis Had unearthed a reprehensible hiatus In reply by Blair and Blair to his thirteenth questionnaire In connection with their inventory status. They had written —"Your Directive when effective was defective 111 its ultimate objective—and what's more, Neolithic hieroglyphic is,, to us, much more specific Than the drive! you keep dumping at our door." ' This sacrilege discovered, Mert<m fainted, —but recovered Sufficiently to write, "We are convinced 'That sabotage is camouflaged behind perverted persiflage— Expect hie on the '22nd inst." But iirst he sent a checker, and then a checker's checker, ♦Still nothing was disclosed as being wrong, So checker's checker's checker came to check the -checker's

checker The process was laborious, and long. Then Followed, a procession of the Fo 11 ow- u p profession Through the records of the firm of Plair and Jilair. From breakfast until supper some new su]) e r-f'e 11 ow■-u pp e r Tore his hair because of Merton's questionnaire. The tile is closed, completed, though our Hero, undefeated Carries on in some Department as before. But Victory is in sight, not because of—but in spite Of Merton's mighty efforts in the I War.