INFLUENCE OF WIRELESS

Bay of Plenty Beacon, Volume 6, Issue 93, 27 July 1943, Page 6

INFLUENCE OF WIRELESS

(All amusing American Skit on lhe Funny People, of "the Air") Is broadcasting having a had eiS feet on the speech of the family? Phrases and expressions which in pro-broadcasting d;iys were regarded as outrageously slangy Americanisms, now fall from the lips of adults and children alike in the most natural manner. Lislcn-in to the Billings family as. they are portrayed by Newman Levy in "The Saturday Evening Post," and judge for yourself : The Billings; family has been listening to the radio a lot lately, it seems to have made an impression Upon tboivL "Gosh, I'm hungry," said Pa Billings, returning from his daily toil. "1 could eat a horse," "We're all out of horses," said Ma. "It's a stable article of diet," said little Mary, brightly. "How about a pony of brandy?" suggested Johnny. "That's a horse of different colour/' said pa. "The butcher called up to-day,." said ma. "He's worried about liis hill." "What happened to him?" pa asked. "Who?" said ma. "His Bill," said* pa. "He wants us to pay his bill/' said ma. "\Vhy doesn't lie pay his own bills?" Johnny asked. "He said he's sick and tired of waiting," said ma. "Probably bilious," suggested Mary "Did you tell him I was short?" pa asked. "He said he didn't care what size 3 T ou were," ma said. "It's better to have loved a short man than never, to have loved a tall," said Johnny. "The butcher said it's been owed a long time,," ma said. "I read the Ode on a Grecian Urn in school," said Mary. "How much docs a Grecian earn?" Johnny asked. ' "A Latin quarter." pa replied. "Why do people live in quarters?" asked little Mary. "Why, just for the change, I suppose," said pa. "Say, pa, can I have a quarter?" said Johnny. "I'm like Captain Kidd," said pa. "How is that?" Johnny asked. "Because he. gave no quarter/' pa replied. "No kidding?" said Johnny. "My uncle was a pilot," said ma.

"Are you going to start, pulling that uncle stuff again?" little Mary asked. "Your uncle was a pirate," said pa. "He was a pilot," said ma. "A pilot in the street-cleaning department." "They d.oa't. have pilots in the street-cleaning department,/' said Johnny. "He used to shovel snow off the sidewa'.tk and pile it. in the middle of. the street," said Ma Billings. "That's snow business," said, Mary. "I don't know," said Johnny. "They say 3-ou can clean up in that department." "Sure," said pa. "My uncle had the snow-removal contract and he made a cool million." "Pretty soft," said little Mary. "Yes,," saicl pa. "But Hie ice -was hard." "My uncle was lost once in a snow bank in Alaska," said Ma Billings. "Tell us a bed-time story," said Mary. "This is a fact," Mr Billings replied. "It was freezing cold and Arthur was terribly low." "Was Arthur your uncle?" asked Johnny. "Our thermometer," ma replied. "The wind blew and blew, and there was my uncle struggling in the snow bank —" "You interest me strangely." said pa. "What happened?" "The wind blew until there was an overdraft and the bank failed.*' said Ma Billings. "It was a narrow escape." "How could a fat guy like your uncle have a narrow escape?" "A thin guy would have had a fat chance in all that snow," said Johnny "That's enough from you. young man," said Pa Billings, sternly. "1 got your report card this morning." "The report is greatly exaggerated," said Johnny. "It's more than a report. It's an explosion." oil got an F iu conduct." said ma "Thai means Fine." said Johnny. "And an F in history,"' pa said. "The. teacher told us that Spaniards used to travel around the world on a galleoi," said Johnny "and t told him you mustn't believe