ECHOES OF MANOEUVRES

Bay of Plenty Beacon, Volume 05, Issue 65, 15 June 1942, Page 5

ECHOES OF MANOEUVRES

HOME GUARD AT OHOPE SOME MORE CRAWLING CAMOUFLAGE AND IMAGINATION' (By Thales) Judging by what I saw dluring the big manoeuvre on Ohope liills last Sunday week, the recent visit of the tactics expert (about whom ilt will lie remembered I gave an 1 account) seemsi to be bearing fruit. There were ■ some very fine examples of the art of crawling and it is quite evident that there must be a lot of training "on the quiet." It is understood that even the " ladies are taking a hand in the training of their "other halves." At least one proud wife out on the Plains was prepared to wager that her hus--sband could crawl up a telephone pole feet first. Since writing the above I have learnt that this wager was accepted by some dubious and very sceptical lady friends, who stipulated that they should choose the pole. At the appointed hour the protesting guardsman was led to the pole by his wife. 'He was the only man present, and was attired in an athletic singlet, tights, his web equipment, and his Home Guard boots. He wanted to> denude himself of his web and boots, but this -was ruled out, on the -grounds that it was a Home Guard exercise.

After all the ladies had examined him (in case he had secreted some 3iooks about his person) he was placed on his head against the pole, and told to "get going." An e3 re'witness has it, that he crawled feet 'first to: within nine inches of the cross bar without incident. It was then noticed that he was in difficulty. He was crawling but not •moving. Faster and still faster his feet revolved. With his head being down the blood rushed in until the neck and temple veins stood out like bullocks sinews.

The frantic wife implored him to *'dig your knees in Bill,"' but poor Bill was too far gone for such notions, and finally slithered down the jpoie with such force that he penetrated the ground until only his -■boots could be seen—the3 r were still -crawling but only very limply. In the end they stopped moving.

The outraged woman is scouring the district for the malicious person who greased the top of the pole with mutton fat. The winning ladies claim that this is only an excuse, and that what really happened was that the unfortunate guardsman had a sudden attack of 'greasy heel, which as every one knows is a strange complaint, that gives a horse an uncontrolable desire to scratch his heels on every fence post.

All this of course shows to what epidemic proportions this business -of crawling has grown around the district. Now take Ohope last Sunday week. Of course this Avas really a marathon contest and could not be -compared to the inspired exhibition given by the .visiting officers and N.C.O.'s to the awe-struck men -of Taneatua, and about which I wrote in the 'Battle of Knobbly Hill.' I forgot unfortunately to make special mention of the Whakatane officers on that occasion—they were a •credit to their men, who should be proud of them.

But to get back to Ohope. I discovered that there are two ways of crawling. The first is popularly known as the half stooping stancc in this position the is carried on all fours (palms down and knees not touching the ground). To see a corporal with his section, all .shuffling round a hillside in this fashion is reminiscent of peanut day at the zoo. This is probably why it is known to science as the "Anthropoidal Amble."' The other method is adopted in a prone position. This is really a three-point landing. The chin, the pit of the stomach, and the toes must not leave the ground. It "is popularly called the "Tuatara Trot." (Scientific name is "catapillus tractus.") Owing to it being a more primitive means of progression than the "Anthropoidal Amble" it is more difficult to acquire. The "Anthropoidal Amble'" is used where the cover is dense. The tuatara trot is only used in open country. Ot course there are exceptions to these rules as witness the case of a fat, and very rotund Maori at the big Ohope Battle. Although he had a beautiful movement (it resembled a hula girl with St Vitus' Dance) lie Avas very unhappy when -travelling over open country. The reason for this was that owing to

his middle-iagc spread he found it necessary to assume a hybrid position which was really a cross between the Trot and the Amble, so that while his extremities were always under cover, the hinder portions of his anatomy remained exposed—this gave him the appearance of an animated knoll, and brought him continually under the fire of a machine gun. The Maori then performed one of those feats of imagination which would have delighted the heart of Mr Mitchell— the tactics expert (who it will be remembered had chased a corporal through a rifle barrel and caused him to crawl in spirals.

Retiring to the cover of a fernclad hill the Maori was lost to sight He later emerged, hut this time the knoll was gaily bedecked with three sprigs of fern and a Huia feather. Thus camouflaged, he progressed with safety. The next time I saw him lie was being untangled from under one of Ohope's many fences, by the medical squad. It appeared that in a moment of forgetfulness he had attempted to go under instead of over the wire and had got his Huia feather horribly tangled. What he's doing now I do not know; probably lie's wondering when he will again assume an upright position.