HESS-TERIA

Bay of Plenty Beacon, Volume 4, Issue 309, 23 May 1941, Page 5

HESS-TERIA

RAMIFICATIONS OF RUDOLF : SPECULATION'S IN WHAKATANE Whakatane is a bright, town ! That is very obvious by the way the lights burst forth at night in spite of the 'blackout !' Whakatane can therefore not be blamed for adding its share of ponderous speculation on the imhess-itating flight to Scotland of one who is now making hesstory and hess-teria in the inner circle of the Nazi Reich. Whakatane however, has its full -share of practical jokers and punmakers (mark the foregping) and " v we present this article entreating humble forgiveness for our plagiarism of some of the sayings of the local wits. No doubt the wily Rudolph sleeps the less soundly for barbs of such thoughtless street chat tossed so carelessly into the Bay of air. We held our ears for instance when the following 'gem' assailed our unoffending ears outside - a centrally situated pubT?t w house : "Hanihony Heden, hasn't had hexperience henough to hupset Hess's hash, has he?" Came the equally devastating re-. f>ly: "No, he haint, you hereditary henchman of Lord Haw Haw." Collapse of bystanders. But Ave hied to the reeking precincts of a grill shop to hear the best of unconscious wit, and it was produced by a seedy individual, vn "bluchers' and dungarees. It ran:

"This 'ere 'ess seems different to them other esses I know. Some blokes carnt 'elp puttin a haitch in ffront of their esses. When they call a bloke in Germany Hess, well that • beats me. I only lorff, hor, hor." A question of grammar, you'd say. But no, ark (we 'hark" to the -rejoined). "Yore all to blazes, Bill. That's 'is name. Its 'Ess —not Hess. Its ignorant ter sound the haitch. Yes, say •Ess same as 'S' an' pt ople'll know wat yer mean." No wonder the businessman at the next table nearly olioked, but the two roads scholars continued their highbrow conversation unperturbed, Then of course there is the notorious garage attendant who approached us with the expectant brows and 'have you heard this one.' We'd-like to tell you it too. but . . . From the Peter the Whaler col-. if umn we pinched the following:—■ When Hessler the Hustler Met Adolph the Bustler. "They, hittled the hat to Herr Hitt. The hat wouldn't fit The lank locks of Herr Hitt So they hessled the lid on to Britt. How rude of Herr Rudolph To slip poor old Adolpji With messerschmidt maps to loch Ness 'L'f he, 'ad of, Adolph Permission to 'pad off— But "Messes are messy." says Hess.

cSo the hit of Herr Hatler For Rudolph the Battler, Is gabbled by Goebbcls the Nit. While Rudolph of Botland Plays bagpipes in Scotland, iAml hence this unorthodox wit. Acknowledgment has just been itnade by the American press which has cabled to slate that the special from the King Street Hall was unfortunately well received and the latest song heard in which Hess croons to Hitler "You take a Heinkel and I'll take a Messerschmidt and I'll be in Scotland afore ye." It is understood receiving the broadcast television has received a set" iback they heard about the visitation King Street had recently by an ■old model Scotsman.