ROUND ABOUT

Bay of Plenty Beacon, Volume 2, Issue 134, 11 March 1940, Page 5

ROUND ABOUT

(By Aitchel) One thing that always interests me is the variety of ways in which people respond to the National Anthem when it is played, with the accompanying photographs of the Royal Family, at picture theatres. In the Regent on a recent night I took a survey. The women, I found, stare straight at the screen, hands clasped in front of ihem, and appear tobe reluctant to sit down again. The women, in other words, are of one type. But not so the men* Some adopt a half-standing, halfsilting position, gripping the seat in front. Others stand stiffly, ramrod fashion, very 'British EmpirePukka Sahibish,' sometimes waking out of a dream tiwo minutes after the rest of the audience is seated. Then there are those Avho just droop, hands in pocket and a look of intense boredom on their faces.. And, of course, there is the chap (like myself on the recent night referred to) who takes the opportunity for a look around, either (unlike myself), out of sheer curiosity tfo see who of his acquaintances Is also present, or else (again unlike myself,) because he kids himself as a student of psychology or sociology or some such thing. Whatever the reason there is the chap who just looks around. $ »p at There is not, of course, any reason at all why I should bring up this subject. But while on it I may as well record the story of Mussolini when- he found himself in a picture theatre one day not so very long after he had assumed command in Italy.

Before the performance his profile Avas flashed on to the screen and the orchestra struck up the tune equivalent to our National Anthem. Mussolini, being modest, thought that perhaps he had better remain seated. Then he thought it better to stand at attention like the rest. So he rose partly and then sat down again and so was like a jumping-jack for a moment or two. The fellow' next to him said "I» know how you feel, old man; we all - think that way. But you'd better stand, you never know who is Avatch ing!" » * * » I came across a story the other day about an Irishman Avho had been marooned on an island. Telling the story, the son of Eire saidi "On the island there AA'as only one tree. Also on the island was the biggest bear I have ever met in my life. The bear chased me and I ran for the tree. The lowest brancli Avas twenty feet from the ground and I jumped for it. . . . "Did you catch it?" asked an interested listener. • - "Not going up," said the Irishman "but I managed to coming dowji." ■ ■ • ' *' * Extract from the "Auckland Star" of a few days back reads: "You have been rather silly over this but no harm has been done/' said His Honor to a young man in Air Force uniform, aged years, who had admitted making a false declaration.' under the Marriage Act." Lying must have been a habit Avith that particular baby; he must have told a Avopper to get in to the Air Force. * * e 9 A rumour was current in Whakatane not so long ago tha.t one of the hotels had run short of beer.. Hoav these things get about, I don't knoAV. Probably this canard was . inspired by the same chap who thought up what he considered a Avinner for IZB's 'Pedigree Stakes.* "I'll tell you what' my entry was," lie said, and added a caution about breathing a AA'ord to anyone. "Calamity—by Pub out of Beer." Ifc would doubtless be a calamity but it AA'as not a winner. Did you hear about one of tlu> recruits recently examined by the Medical Board. He Avas a good physical specimen but unfortunatelysuffered Avith an imperfection of speech. "Sorry, old man," said the. doctor, "you arc At and would have passed but . . . er . . . Avelt, you knoAV that stutter rather ruins, things." "TTTTThese . . . Nazis,'" stammered the lad, "11111, . . . want, to fffight tttlie . . . gentlemen ... nnot argue Avith . . . UUhem"' *en St *

So Commerce Street is being tarscaled and the speed restricted t<» 15 m.p.h. Judging by the list of those prosecuted for speeding round about Christmas there will be a few •wishing that King Street had had a coat of chips at that time.