ROUND ABOUT

Bay of Plenty Beacon, Volume 2, Issue 107, 8 January 1940, Page 5

ROUND ABOUT

(By Aitchel) Well, we've had a rest; you from reading this column and me from writing il. Nothing has occurred to disturb the serenity of the existence of the Bay of Plenty people and so we must toddle along 01; generalities. The one thing 1 must do is to thank all those admirers who sent in such beautiful presents. * » * » First of all I would like to say how much I appreciate the lovely razorblade. There was no comment with it and I am left wondering whether it was intended as an invitation to become a Kliptc*-maniac and crib my column from other papers or whether a kindlier thought prompted the gift and it was a dumb request to cut my throat. S» IJf * Another present was a poor, wee rabbit. It was quite dead, and the note accompanying it informed'me that it had been run over away out Galatea. The rabbit ranks high— not only in my estimation. I intend to hare It stuffed because that is what I was told to do with it. * m m I also wish to express; my thank:? to I. Mafoolc for the piece of plum pudding he sent along. Of course, you remember I. Mafoolc? He was the chap to whom I gave some sound advice about marrying the girl. Well', he did. The piece of plum pudding, which incidentally was quite free of threepenny bits, was part of a: very solid effort of his wife's-. • * * * I remember a certain science master (who had good cause to remember me) informing his class one day that children love to pull things to pieces to see how they work. That, he said, was the mechanical and inventive impulse, or something like that. I have in mind, too, the sage who said that father gets more fun out of his boy's toys than the lad himself. That is true, but it does not apply only to father. * » * * Claude has a boy and the boy has an aeroplane. I should say he did have an aeroplane. Only a toy but the propeller worked and whizzed round in great style. Sort of synchronised with the wheels. I was taken with this. All the pent-up mechanical and inventive impulses that the science master had so effectively quelled, came to the fore. I had to see how the thing worked. Not only that but it appeared to me that there was something wrong with the rudder because the 'plane had a habit of swinging to one side. I tried twisting the iudder but it seemed to be that the trauble was more deep-seated. So T grabbed a

pair of pliers and opened the fuselage. Then I thought that if a decent propellor were fitted and the tail fins adjusted on hinges, the dashed thing might lift an 4 actually HySo I tore off, the metal screw and replaced it with one of my own manufacture and made of wood. I had a spot of bother with the synchronising gear,' and found that the wheels would not go round with the prop., so I removed the wheels and substituted skis. After all, some aeroplanes have skis; certainly the majority of male planes have. In the finish I had constructed what might be expected, a wonderful model of a wreck. All that the laddie said was "800-oo," but he left me in no doubt,,he kept on saying it. Moral: Children only are allowed to have that mechanical and inventive impulse. m p. i * Our old friend I. Mafoole evidently is a surprise packet. I ask-; ed him the other day h<sW he found married life and he said it was alright. In fact, he said, he found it cheaper to live and was managing comfortably on 30s per week. I couldn't believe that and told him so. He produced a budget. This was it: Beer 15 Od Wife's beer 1 6d Meat, Fish and Groceries Credit Rent Pay next week Mid-week beer 3 3d Coal ... Borrow neighbours Burial Club (for wife) 1 0 Dog's food 3 Od ' Holiday Club 1 Od One small 'double' .. 1 Ocl More beer 1 9d

I added tliis list and fourjd that the items total,led £1 lis 6d. I protested to him that it >vas ;just 1/6 over the Ms. He agre'fl, saying that lie had discovered this fact for himself and had cut out his wife's beer. * m * a I Talking about beer.... or were we? A new book of reminiscences tells of an American who had all the rooms of his house wall-papered with the labels of liquor bottles. Each room had distinctive labels from various countries, and one r.f the owner's conditions* was that no label should be used unless he and or his friends had consumed the contents of the respective bottle. The house had twenty-one rooms. a ijt s& » Imagine yourself saying, "That drawing-room needs re-papering. I'll have to start and drink myself a new wallpaper." And Avhat an excuse to give a trustful wife: "Fna. just going over to Smith's place to help him select a new wallpaper pattern." * * « * Writing to the BEACON, a correspondent evidently out to make a name for Whakatane equivalent to Whangarei r s Saw-dust Club fame, writes thus: "It should be compulsory for women to clothe themselves decently in the streets." m- ■ *- » » What of the Rome-Berlin axis? With broken word, and tarnished spear, With honour, all that men hold dear Hitler, scornful of all excuse, Has played* the deuce. Now vengeance comes. The gathering hosts Make idle all vainglorious boasts. He seeks a- truce, and finds today The Duee won't play. * m * * Said a Maori: "Hitler must be the bravest man in the world." Claude was astonished. "Bravest man in the Avorld!' Why?" "Well," said the Maori, "surely he's heard by now that the Maori Battalion- is coming, over." « * * m There is a certain well-known weekly paper which occasionally hits other periodicals in the eyes with admonishments on proof-read-ing. It is the essence of life for this Astute Observer to tickle up a small slip. Glancing through a fairly late ett'p.y Ii see a word standing by itself. If it were not, it would still stand owt. If you; see what I mean. The word is £OVE. Of course £• and L mean the same sort of thing really, You've all heard of L S D as meanrng Pounds, Shillings, and Pence. And then again you can't have Love without £.