OUT AND ABOUT

Bay of Plenty Beacon, Volume 1, Issue 69, 2 October 1939, Page 5

OUT AND ABOUT

that the Fuehrer is taking a leaf out of the Vozhd's book and shooting one occasionally 'to encourage ihe others?' Hitler and the ex-Kaiser seem men of similar tastes. Bill cuts down trees and Adolph cuts down Poles. * & & 9 Our esteemed Rotorua contemporary announces that a Russo-Soviet Pact has been negotiated. I wouldn't trust Stalin to honour even that bargain. m # * * Our recruits celebrated their entry into the Government service by putting a little business in the way of the post office on Wednesday. ''Sinking everything on sight " "having marvellous time, wish you wer? here'' and so on read the telegrams. Prominent members l oS the citizenry liked the kind thought; would have liked it more had the la'ds not sent the messages collect..

(By The Outsider)

Well my pets, and how's everyv* thing on the home, front? You missed your little dose of wit and cul- ; ture last Monday, but we now have ; found a, ne\y ribbon ifior the typewriter, and cverj r thing is .under control. . # « 9 * Perhaps you reca,ll a little poem! entitled "The Jabberwock" whicH reads rather like one of Epstein's statues giving tongue, thiisly:— " 'Twas brillig, and the slithy toveSr Did gyre and gimble in the wabe. All mimsy were the borrow groves, And the mome raths outgrabe. . ." And so on. Alter you have read it a few times you begin to see whatLewis Carroll was driving at, or you think you do. Now let us try a little Striking the Lyre exercise in the same Style: THE GRABBERWO CH. 'Twas Danzig, and the Swastikoves Did Heil and Hittle in der Reich. All Nazi were the lindengroves, And the Neuraths Juliustreieli. Beware the Gfabberwoch my son The plans that spawn, the hands that snatch. Beware the Jew-Jew bird and shun ) The Fuehrious Rundesnatch. He took his Aryan horde ,in hand, Long time the Gestapo hetauglit.r Then rested he by Baltic sea, And stood in evil thought. And as he stood beside the shore, The Grabberwoch with lies a-flame* Came Goerring down the Corridor, And Goebbelled as it came. Ein! Zwei!—Ein! Zwei! One in the eye Poor Polska folk, Alas! Alack! He left them dead, and as their head. He came Meinkampfling back. While in the poetic vein, we record: , There's a portion of! Europa Mittel, Whose inhabitants all have to hittle. For if they do not, They promptly are shot, So that everyone hittles a little. * * s « New amongst us is a certain sonage Avho, in earlier (and happier)' days, was just a constant variable visitor, but who now —so he avers—• desires to live long and die happyin. our midst. All of which is oke by us, our main objection'being that the gent, has the habit of emphasising the point of his arguments by using flocks of adjectives. Will give free sample of his style, that being only way of getting rid cfi the stock. Anent the apparent slowness of the French advance into the precincts of the purlieus of the Reich, quoth he: Nix, the French are just pretty-sitting to kid-urge Brother Boche into surging over the border into beauteous Belgium, and thus place himself in American eyes, right in the mud-soup-dirt." Unfortunately the thing is contagious catching. One finds oneself ask-urging Tim to join one in a big-long-wide handsome bowl of his own. beverage. It's wrong. The thing has to halt-cease-stop, at once—immcclr* iately. * ■* * * "Truth is Stranger Than —'' Department! A pakeha gave a Maori a 'lift into town. The Maori at the end a? the ride, said "Thank's very much." The Pakeha said "Oh,' don't mention it." The Maori looked at him for :t moment. "I won't tell a soul'' h&' said. S£ w w » With Der Fuehrer, one had long thought that umbrellas were embles [of peace and goodwill.,! butji with? Adolplr I am now disillusioned, ancf regard them as dashed! dangerous things, for one of ovtr prominent citizens was found 'cast' the other rainy day, and all through misplaced trust in the solidity of family gamp. Apparently one or two over the allowable eight had been inhaled, and as this character was wandering , homeward he w T as smitten by an urge to admire the beautiful stars or something. He struck the correct attitude withlegs crossed, one band on hip, amE leaning heavily on the umbrella. Next he struck the pavement, umbrella having disintegrated under the strain, and, ns the back of his head' ca,me into abrupt juxtaposition withl terra cotta, the Study of celestial bodies was interrupted rather abruptly. Of course, ;t may not be the Russian influence, but therq has been a slight rise ..in ..the ..mpartality .. S .ratess for German generals lately. Can it bst (Continued foot" previous column)