THE ELECTION.

Bay of Plenty Times, Volume IV, Issue 360, 19 February 1876, Page 3

THE ELECTION.

A TALE TOED BT A GbANDFATHEB IK 1896.

(From the Poverty Bay Standard.) Ah, yea my boy ! you well and truly say We've gained another victory to-day ; Our man's returned — the man we chose to vote for, Defeating tboae we do viofc care a groat for. How diff'renfc was it twenty years ago, When first in politics we made a show ! Ah ! now the City East, and South and West Return the members each may think the best, While inland towns and hamlets, not forgotten, .Can each in Parliament now cast their lot in, But then a district large — the East Coast styled, I tell you had to draw it very mild With one to swell the then collective wisdom Which met at Wellington where people quizzed 'em. You'll not remember those old times — let's see, You were a little rascal then of three Or thereabouts, in frock and petticoat, With thoughts from subjects such as theao remote ; And with an appetite for cakes and lollies Which would have tempted you to any follies E'en to the selling of your little vote — If one you'd had — for much less than a note. As you have grown since then in bulk and brain So has this favoured district of the plain. Well ! Parliament dissolved by Time's effluxion. But we resolved that in its new construction Our former member should no parb take in it, If wo could help, not even for a minute. This portion of the district he'd neglected Though buildings -grand he'd elsewhero had erected ; His conduot altogether was so shabby Enlightened voters here were mighty orabby. He rose like yeast and tried to be well bre(a)d But proved a lump of dough as tough as lead. His friends c'en could not stomach such a

morsel — What wonder then opponents should discourse ill

And set a gallant Captain in the field To wrest from him his ill-used eword and shield ?

A " local candidate" was then our cry And two email meteors shot athwart this sky But scintilating for a space soon faded Before the great light which', their place inraded : The founder of the settlement-^-the man Whose energy has placed us in the'Van — Whoße enterprise builihalf the places here— Who started many -on a bright career — Yes o— pt— n.R. d-to Btand at length. consented, . And to get in if possible he nioant it. We Pitted him against the Northern men, ,

Two Pukehas —one^Maori denizen. ;' ■ The looked'fdr'morning broke on scenes • oftnud^ Small showers fell and threatening loomed the scud! We had a Road Board then—a Kardy set — They could not help the wind nor atop the wet, ! Nor stay the river rising up it banks Else they'd have gained the peoples' lasting thanks. But still in spite of wind and.rivers came The voters freely in their rights to olaim, And all (except some score of renegades Whose names are lost in dark oblivion's shades) Plumped for the "local oandidate" like bricks lAnd-proved their knowledge of true politics. And then the wire conveyed the telegrammas — A'number of them told I fear great crammers— 11R —-d heads the poll by nine!" his foes defeating; At Wellington he may now take his seatrin . The Parliament which makes and breaks the laws And passes Acts by scores with many flaws. Then in the north a dismal wail arose, And many things were said in vulgar prose Not fit for ears polite to listen to — Aye, spoken both by Gentile and by Jew. With voters two to one the day they'd lost! And then the frightful lot of cash it cost . For bets alone! (I hope they duly paid 'em) . | And bills for cheese and beer which quite outweighed 'em. With heavy downcast hearts though lighter pockets, And eyes in frenzy rolling in their sockets, I Brows darkly clouded, lips compressed, each I Binner Looked like a hungry man who'd lost his dinner. 11 Vish I may live I've lost my cash!" cried one. While others said " through splitting votes we're done;" And then they spoke of great "corruption," not On their side —that was free from any blot;?) " Bribery could be proved in many cases" ! And counsel were engaged with smiling faces, Some affidavits duly sworn and taken, Subscriptions raised from purses empty shaken, Subpoenas served and issued right in form With hints about Supreme Courts being warm • The whole affair was treated as a joke Down here of course and ended all ia smoke A fig for men who when they're so defeated Can't bear ifc bravely though they are unseated ! R.M.K. Giaborne, January, 1876. EPIGRAM*. (DUBINO- THE EJECTION.) " Retire!" quoth K. to M., *' the race, sir, Still lies 'twixt you and £; He's far too stout to go the pace, sir, Upon my word rely." (Apteb the Election.)' " Quoth M., " This has a lesßon brought us, The fables you should Mead : While we were napping there the tortoise Outstripped the hares in speed." P.S. Gisborne, January, 1876.