THE PASSING SHOW.

Auckland Star, Volume LX, Issue 230, 28 September 1929, Page 8

THE PASSING SHOW.

• (By THE MAN ABOUT TOWN.) A WOEFUL WEEK. The week had woefully begun For Billy Binks, a. poor man's Sun. He was hosct with bill and dun, And had but very little if on. "This cash," said ho, "won't pay my dues, I've nothing here and this is Tues." A bright thought struck him and he said, "The rich Miss Goldlocks I will Wed." But when he paid his court to her She lisped, but firmly said, "No, Thur!" "Alas!" said he, "then I must die; I'm done, I'll drown, I'll burn, I'll Fri." They found his gloves, his coat, his hat, The coroner upon them Sat. —ANON.

Dear M.A.T., —Your cleric's correspondent very evidently attends the same church as I do. If lie will wear a red camellia in his buttonhole next Sunday THE GLAD HAND, we will fraternise. A year ago I laid an even bob each way that if I attended any church in New Zealand I would be spotted first spin and tendered the welcoming hand; that my name and occupation would be discovered in some magic way and that two ladies—they hunt in couples—would call within a month, perhaps even within a week. I lost my bob—badly. The last ten months have registered hope, disappointment, resentment, pretended indifference, indifference, serene indifference. Of course I know that a church is not a social institution. Someone may call soon and then I'll be sorry I ever wrote this; and I do hope the parson won't think I'm blaming him; he's the hardest-working man and the best sport I know, and he has got a very long row of small potatoes to hoe and of course has not time to call. —Lady Latch Key. PERSONALITY OF THE WEEK.

Mr. F. L. G. West, barrister-at-law, is president of the Auckland Law Society. He is keenly interested in acclimatisation matters and in military MR. P. L. G. WEST, affairs. Early in the Great War Mr. West joined the New Zealand Expeditionary Force as a lieutenant, serving in France and on Gallipoli and attaining the rank of major. For some portion of his service he was attached to the War Office in London. Major West is Assistant-Judge-Advocate-General to the Defence Forces of New Zealand.

Dear M.A.T.—One might think, after seaing the average picture show, that all the best riders come from Texas or thereabouts, and the fact that New ZeaROUGH RIDERS, land has known some champions of the saddle is apt to be lost sight of. Robert Ross, who died at Topuni the other day, was a noted stockman in his younger years, and some of Ids feats up north have become legendary. Once a Wild West show went on tour that way with far-flung challenges to ride a bucking broncho. It was Robert "Ross who accepted the invitation, and as soon as he got a pull on the bridle the broncho speedilybecame a disillusioned and docile animal. A similar feat was performed years later by a curate at Whangarei. The proprietors of a travelling circus offered a ten-pound donation to the local hospital if a rider could stay on a particularly wild and vicious horse for five minutes. The curate sat like a leech in the saddle for the appointed time. Spectators cheered deliriously. The hospital got the ten pounds.—D.M.

The mother of a very bright boy, having occasion to visit one of the best-conducted schools for orphans in the North Island, took 1 ___ young lan with her. Lan SURPLUS PARENT, was deeply interested in, the children. They seemed to be doing corker tilings. They were full of good food and smiles, clean, happy, jolly. Life to them seemed to be just one game after another. "Oh, mum, I wish I could go to this school," said lan. "But you can't, my dear," said mother, "This school is only foV children who have lost their daddies and mothers/' "Couldn't we lose clad?" asked lan wistfully.

The destroyer is ever at work in urban New Zealand. To-day one passes down a street looking perhaps for a shop one has known since childhood. GARGOYLES. Intrepid break-down men with cunning engines of destruction have apparently wiped it out in a night. Sentiment is generated by these frequent disappearances. ■ Christchureh, for instance, is dropping a tear because a public clock is to be removed to make room for more and more motors. And Aucklanders who for so long have entered through the ecclesiastical doors of the Shortland Street post office will como along soon and find them gone. May M.A.T. again call attention to the fact that tins building i s perhaps the only one in the city proper which is decorated with carved gargoyles? It is true that these carved images each represents the features of a dead awl gone celebrity, men who obviously cherished whiskers and whose counter presentments are therefore valuable as evidences of a less barefaced age. The sculptors of these images which are soon to disappear were possibly gifted with a sense of humour. There is nothing m more modem facial stonework at all resembling them. This is to suggest that the breakers who are to destroy the poet office in order to make room for a new right-of-way take these old faces out without breaking them. Even the doors of that old post office are worth keeping as a curiosity. THOUGHTS FOR TO-DAY. The foolish and the dead alone never change their opinion.— J. R. Lowell. * * Aim high and try t ,ce oftener than you tail. —Anon.