RANDOM SHOTS BY ZAMIEL

Auckland Star, Volume LIX, Issue 237, 6 October 1928, Page 2 (Supplement)

RANDOM SHOTS BY ZAMIEL

' Zaro Agha, at the age of 155, lias jus'o selected his 12th wife. Perhaps 13 will be his unlucky number. ' ' - V

' The Powers of the it appears, are willing to. scrap all the warships they don't need.. •

"Mr. Coates said he Twas not afraid of any man'in New Zealand." This.looks like easy, money for the gentleman from Gisbqrne. : ■ ■-:•■••': .

A West Coast paper says that a certain" gentleman "inadvertently' came in contact ywithV.ii wire carrying 11,000 volts.'f "Inadvertently^ , is good. ■

; '*Many/people are . disappointed when they aro; convicted;", said a magistrate when dealing withcharges against motorists.' . And. .the magistrates; .of .course,; simply^hate; to disappoint i.hemf /. ....

The, law;requiring Australian , waterside workers' to; Tiave their .names put orif.a*register has;led to riots and bombings/ Well, we shall have a register of another kind'in New Zealand soon,

', '"In Melbourne they can" tell a New Zealande'r by the reckless way lie walks on ttio road." And if he drove a car, no doubt Melbourne would,find its'first impressions confirmed. .

There should be a fortune waiting for the. one _ who patents a- iinethod whereby-rich ..and .famous people, such as.! Gene Turiney, can be married in decent quiet. ' . .

... Mr. Justice Smith says that nowadays' a true representative of tho. legal pro-; fession will not drive his clientrio litigation, but will give- him "hlsj'honest opinion." Nowadays, intact, a client is seldom driven to litigation, but his lawyer's honest opinion may lead him there.

are dearer, and one reason ;is said to be that a firm has a "corner" in-them.- If any (political party is looking out for a slogan, I suggest "Gheaper ■Potatoes."' It' is subject' that comes, .•veryoiear to'the people, and the politicians, who keep close to the ground, should thrive.on it.:; . •'- '.<

The Mount Eden Borough' Council declines responsibility for trousers torn through falls on footpaths, although it recently paid, the claim of a ■ lady who damaged 'her stocking. And ,yet "they say. women have equal rights with men; I hope-our local feminists will see ..this, thing through to. the end. -V,

Practically everyone who opposed the erection.of a motor camp on Mount Hob : son'was in favour of ; having a camp outside- the city .limits,- said an..Auckland M.P. As the city's limits may. be' the, Tamaki and-' the ' Whau, ; visiting motorists will have difficulty in knowing have arrived.,, '. • '■■'■-:

The general .manager of ..railways admits' that he, cannot make ]the jrail.way.s.. "pay/'.ari: the -common- sense of; th v at "word. ("The.'people,- he^aMed,; ."aje! sure of lealisation oii tlieir'-investinent but. they -ma^: riot-reap ,it .until; spine years'-lience." .:" So none of us will' die penniless; each -bi us will be' bequeath^-an item, " Dividend from"'railways wfien-paid. , '-.;' •','.'-! ■' ■ V

•'"Members :feel' that such' anUmpori tant bill should .not be introduced-in-the dying' hours of the session." This plea, is very old. Just-when the hours ,<.of 'the'session begin to die is not very clear, but apparently the patient becomes'uc; .well after the Address-in-Reply-has been composed.'. And rigor mortis sets ill very quickly if a controversial or "awk| ward" bill appears on the Parliamentary- horizon. , •]■ ■'■ ..-

Delegations fr<sni the Auckland City Council and the Auckland , suburban bodies this week went to Wellingtor, where they engaged in a controversy with Auckland members of Parliament over the .Auckland'Transport,Bill. Why this affecting demonstration of Auckland unity should be stagqd in Welling ton, is not'clear, but in any case, could it not' have been given; in public, and a"price charged for" admission? The receipts might' have been devoted to paying for the transport report. - ■

In describing a recent popular concert "the "Cape Times" music critic wrote: "The Strauss waltz had'a number of very loud passages suddenly succeeded by total silence, and this proved somewhat awkward for a few members of the audienco who were endeavouring to_ converse during the playing of the piece." This recalls an old, old.story. During a similar sudden silenea at an English concert, and above the hum of conversation; a loud female voice from the gallery, announced: "We_U, anyway, what I sez is, we always fries ours in fat!" , "DEAR" SPUES. Potatoes are scarce in Auckland, and correspondingly high ' in price. iAn Auckland merchant said that "Potatoes were a very dear vegetable indeed .... they were almost too dear to eat." , An apple a year fills doctors with fear, An. onion's a diet for auas; But us cheer! Tlicro is nothing so dear '■■'■' ■ As potatoes—ajias spuds! Morning, waiter! Hunger's sauce - Bids the menu run its course. •i . Porridge, ham ana eggs and toast. Fish' and" poultry, fry and roast; Solids, liquids, gravies, greens, ■ Olives, pickles,' puddings, beaus, [' Custards, pies, confections,, nuts, ■ =<- Hashes, haricots, or cuts — I am set, hut tell the cheC That he'll hear my treble clef '... IC.some economic twist . Ventures to reduce th'o list By excising from the meal That for which I always -squeal— •So, it you're afruid-of blood, .. ■ . ' Don't forget I love a spud. — '■•■—Spuds! Spuds! Den , ? me not, Tasty tubers,; steaming liot.. . : - Frenchified as'poirime do terre; Mashed—a daily staple fare; ~ '■• Potato chips—delicious bites; . : Eoasted—succulent delights: New—with butter—mputhfuls which Epicurpans bewitch;'-; . Toasted in their jackets—where :, .' . Is tlie bloke who would forswear - :, Potatoes under any label — For this dear old vegetable ' r Either in or minus skins , - Fills me .up with yitamintA ■ '■:', : -i-?: ..Make's me choke beneatli-my stud. ..- ; -;:.,! •As I show my love for.spud! •', ' Now then, waiter, why-tfikt cough?--..-. '.' 'Scuse you!" ■'Whairor?-.!'Spu(3s are oK! Someone looking after biz J. ■■. • . • , - ■ Cornered tnein and prices riz.~: ■ "-. Cleaned the market—got jiis-Tjeat, - ' '<■'. ■ Spuds are now too' dear..to.eat." - : Gosh! That's murder! r .-After"lunch :'} - Borrow me Tom Heeney's punch, • : And I'll telegraph some.thtids ■ • , V To the bloke that cornered; spuds. ■■'; :' ' :.'.:. ! ' :'' : ;M'. =^ErA,'