TO RAISE A SMILE.

Auckland Star, Volume LIX, Issue 237, 6 October 1928, Page 21 (Supplement)

TO RAISE A SMILE.

Visitor:' "Thank you for giving so mucli' .to the hospital. It inmost generous of you." Widow: "Oh,, n0. , . I owe')the hospital everything I've got." "Oil]' Did the hospital, savo your life?"- it inado me a. widow." "I belave," declared Pat, "thafe ma. youngest soil's born to be; a surgeon." "Phwat leads ye t' say that?" asked Mick. "Oi caught him using tho; scissors ou a, book Oi'd bought, and before Oi e'd stop him ho cut out the appendix." Father: "Gladys, I trust that you will go to church to-night. The theme, 'An Hour With Favourite Hymns, , should be very interesting." Gladys: "I should like very much to go, but I have an engagement to spend several hours with my favourite him to-night." An aggressive young woman scolded the 'bus conductor for treading on her toes. When she ceased her rating the conductor asked her for her fare. "To the station," she snapped, tendering ;i coin. " "Single?" he asked. "Yes." "H'm! I'm not surprised." Sergeant: But if he was on his Lauds and knees in the road, what' makes you think fce was loitering with intent to commit a felony? Very New Constable: Well, sir, he was groping at tho white line, saying ho was going to roll it up and take it homo to maku a frieze for his bathroom. A conductor on a tramcar noticed an elderly Scotsman and a young Scottish lad. The old man was holding a watch, in his hand, and was studying it with intense interest. Suddenly lie seemed satisfied, and looked up. Seeing tho conductor he beckoned to him. "What is it?" asked the conductor. "I. want to pay the rest of my grandson's fare," he said. "He has just become'twelve years old."