DIARY OF A BUDDING EARL.

Auckland Star, Volume LIX, Issue 237, 6 October 1928, Page 20 (Supplement)

DIARY OF A BUDDING EARL.

(By Joyce E. Martin, 7, Glcu lload,. Remuera;'age 13.) • My name- is Mickey,, at leest . that's what all them call me. My reel name "is Michael John Nasbby, and I live at Xaseby Ca'stles, and my father is an ear]. It is very nice having an earl for a father, becorso everybody bows to you. My father is very- nice to me, but lie 'is rather stern, mid next, to him I luve Goody best. Goody is my old nurse, and sometimes "jjeople Kay you would think elic was my mother. I luvo her'so much. It is very nice (don't you think "nice" is a iiico word?) writing a diary, and I wouldn't have dono it if I hadn't 'heard Mary .say to Briget (their two maids), "I've just red sich a lovely romantic storie. It's nil abart (eho sez "übilrt" for about) a girl and she- writes a diary abart all she das." I. was very impressed and so I started one to. ■ .

"July 4.—To-day. Aimt Janet came to ■dinner and passed very rude remarks n/bout me as usual.. She. is-a very fat horty ladie, with things like speekticlcs on sticks called Jorgonets. At dinner time I was thinking very hard and Aunt Bcd to me, "It is 'rong for little boys to think, Michael. What; are you thinking?" and I sed, "I'm thinking what a lot of boy cows and giiri cows that Biddy's had." (Biddy's Goody's cow), and Aunt looked horrowfled and she just looked at me and ecd to John the Imttler, "John, plecse- remove this lHtle bui'tst to his bedroom-at once," and so John removed me, and wilo I wad going ,out I sed, "Aunt, I'm very hurt, nnd surprised that you should deem me below your estcam, and I hope God will for- • give you." liny way, I got out the winder again and I though kitty looked so hot in her mill tat udea of fur, so I got the scissors and out aonio off. Kitty did'jit like it 'much, 'and' ■ she skwirmed all the. time, and of corse I cut all wiggley. I coukl'nt help lafling when I'd finished, corse kitty looked just like Cousin Joan's mop what I shingled. All lines and wiggles and junks. I was so I delited that I didn't hair Aunt come up behind me until she skreeched right into my ear hole and nearly made me deaf. I think Aunt ort to considder people's ears when she wants to faint, just cores her ole kitten's fur is cut all nice. Every ■■ body growled at me and sent me to bed agen and locked the winder. It was like a prisen, and I tended that I was heart broken, and that lions were licking ine like they did that man Dannel■ in" the Bible. They left me there all afternoon, and wihon I yelled through the keyhole that I had forgiven. Aunt, she came rushing to the dore liko a waterfall and skreeohed something bout mo being a inerderous domin, but I didn't lieen much becorse she called me that four times already, and I bet she would keep quite if Dad was home. I felt quite sad, and I nearly tried, but I tickled myself and thort what I'd do if I got hold of Aunt, and I was so amused that I laffed out real loud. And then I tended Aunt was a grate big devel, with 'horns, and I was an angle, and I wae cutting her into teeny weeny bite with a big shiny sord. It was eo funny.

When Dad came home he arsked mo if I had been good, but I sedj "Daddy, I have been in dire disgrace all afternoon, but I wish Aunt wouldn't s'hreek so loud, oorso I've got quite a fat ear now." And father just smiled and kissed me, and 6ed he was glad I had some huiner. He Bed that Aunt wanted to take me home with her for a week, and I couldn't understand it, corse Aunt doesn't love me much. But I no now corse I herd Aunt eay to Dad, "John, I .must.take your boy home and teach his eome manners; he is just ortrocoua. Him the future earl. The dentin." And when she went out Dad eed, "Blow tho ole busy body. The kid will make a better earl than* all her boys," and I quite gree with dad, but I epoae I'll have to go to Aunt's 010 house. Eny way, Til etill cut any cat's fur I like, and think eny thinks I like, too. ;