THE LOUNGE LIZARD.

Auckland Star, Volume LIX, Issue 237, 6 October 1928, Page 10 (Supplement)

THE LOUNGE LIZARD.

"The Times" vouches for the following, essay in Natural History:—

The lounge lizard (Lacertus balnear- . ius) is a mammal without exact precedent, though clearly of the dandiacal, species, haying generally an elongated body wrapped in a pliant sheath,; a small head, a mouth slightly open in' an attitude of expectancy, and legs which, on occasion's of languid anima-j tion appear to be gelantinous. He is; at birtli vertebrate, though the evidences! of this condition have a tendency to dis- ; solve as adolescence approaches. Hiscustomary positions are recumbent ori sedentary, from which, when-sufficiently-goaded by his-appetites, he stirs reluct-: antly with the tortuous motion of a sick; eel, rising at last to a position apprdxi-' mately upright, wherein, unless ex-; eeptionally stimulated,. ho totters ond< droops. His sitting down has less re-; semblance to the human taking of rest than, to the collapse of a thin pinnacle of iced pudding when placed in moderate sunshine; But, in spite of this apparent lack of stamina, he will, like the garden slug, exhibit, on his particular occasions, an astonishing energy.

Though unresponsive to slangy polkas, lio is marvellously enabled, by the clangour of'bells, the wailing:of discordant instruments and the screams of savages, eo to intoxicate.himself tliat he can, and will, rock froni one foot to another throughout a whole night, by which monotonous exercise he appears to bo unexhausted. Though the. "dusty cavalcade" is.no concern of his, for in his world horses arc extinct unless petits, he is so enchanted by the Bmell of petrol gas that he will press pedals and pull levers with the greatest industry for no more selfish or useful purpose than that of releasing to the world, in the course of what he calls a "joyride," the fumes of delight.

The masher held the ribbons; the lizard lounges at a steering wheel. One was served; cheated, and moulded by the abundant scoundrels of Lever or Surtees; the other is served, cheated, and moulded by the progressively minded oflice-boys of Mr. Wells. The difference is much more than personal; it marks the clash of age with age. The change from masher to * lizard, from belle to flapper, is the change from sherry to cocktails, from coaches to two : seatere, from cigars to Virginian cigarettes. .

IJet the'student of manners, therefore; observe the lizard with understanding and. match him. with, his predecessors, for, though ho and his kind may not head the chapters, their names are illuminating footnotes to history.