THE PASSING SHOW.

Auckland Star, Volume LIX, Issue 231, 29 September 1928, Page 8

THE PASSING SHOW.

(By THE MAN ABOUT TOWN.)

PINE DAY! "It's rained and hailed and blown for weeks, I wonder why it's fine ?" said be. "Fathead!" retorted big old pal. "They're racing oat at Ellerslie!" If we.have drought next summer, and; Have- neither rain nor wind nor hail,- . We'll-ask the Racing Clnb to stage A meeting out at Avondale. Professor E. C. Daly, of the Liverpool ■University, recently dashed a piece of glass oh a stone floor and it rebounded whole. He lias invented this unbreakUNBREAKABLE. able vitrium and while it bounds he sees boundless possibilities. A deputation called on M.A.T. and mentioned that they saw at least two boundless possibilities and suggested that the discovery would revolutionise the social activities. One gentleman foresees little games of handball with "half-handles" on licensed premises and competitions to see whose glass will bounce the highest. The golf-playing colonel of pictorial fiction will be able to play the glass if he can't see the ball, and-at wine parties where the ping-pong balls have been lost the substitution of a wine glass will be simple. If Professor Daly is able to impart to earth-made vessels the satae quality of indestructibility a wife may justly use a teacup as a, missile without fear of leaving the set short. The unbreakable bottle will appeal to the gentlemen who use the breakable vessel as a weapon. The enemy may be silenced and the weapon sold for a penny. Cricket in confined spaces will lose its terrors, but immediate protests will come from the glaziers. Occasionally one has noticed that motor cars have pushed shop windows in. It would be a change to see an unbreakable pane push motor cars out.

PERSONALITY OF THE WEEK.

Maxwell Walker, M.A., 8.C0m., professor of modern languages at, Auckland University College, is a notabFe combination of physical ' ■ ;.. ' and mental fitness and PROP. MAXWELL is universally known, as WALKER. "MaxJ" Apart from bowls, in wliich he has uncanny skill, he has no bias except perhaps for declamatory recitation. When people, hear, that Max is going to give an item .they crowd the "room and give anxiety to. the providore. If there were such things as professional chairmen M.A.X. would get two votes from MAT., for he has a habit of controlling a gathering and interesting "it at the same time. Yery likely there's something psychological about it. As a New Zealand bowling champion he is, of course; known wherever there is a pair of rubber- shoes. Apart from, this, nothing is known against him except that he has° an appraising eye and will very likely smile through his "specs" at M.A.T. when next he sees him.

An indignant gentleman rushed into M.A.T.'s parboilery, and, dashing a label down on the table, said: "yhere! What do you wm tlllnk ° f that -" 14 had waiti!/ i 5» come on a parcel all the ORKLAND? way from a great firm I . in London. The name is known throughout the Empire and further. There are earls and baronets and knights in the firm. Great merchants go on bended knees to get the firjn to take their boys in on leaving Oxford. There .are Cambridge graduates behind the counter; a Harrow boy would consider it a distinction to sort the mail, and lads with Floreat Etona"- all over them gladly take charge of the sealing wax heating department. Distinguished-looking youths murmuring "Salubritas et Eruditio" interest themselves in parcels and string, the sons of retired generals hop round when the Christ's Hospital shopwalker purrs, and Clifton lads have been known to clamour to take out a hand truck for the great firm. Here is the label. One strongly suspects, a Haileybury bov: "Mr. , Takapuna, Orkland, New Zea'land." My 'sainted aunt! In bitter retaliation M.A.T. has sent an order for a pair of braces to the firm addressed: "Messrs. , Limatid, Bonde Streat, Londin."

One wonders if the jungle and forest relatives of animals, in the Auckland Zoo still take an interest in their caged friends. It

- rather a pity they can't Trurw®«i>m n sit in their trees or caves JUNGLE HEWS, and read the latest report. . Sacred baboons will be pained to read (if the report were published 111 the "Jungle News") that their pal of tb© Auckland Zoo ; who suffered, from cage paralysis, has been destroyed. One hopes that this little episode will not deter other sacred baboons from coining to Auckland to be object lessons to little children in kindness to animals. Then in the lightsome portions of the "Jungle ' tllis paragraph would find many delighted lady readers: "The new Brown Bear has been introduced to the large male Teddy during the week. All three animals are now together and are living under the happiest - conditions." The correspondent might add that additions or subtractions from the hftppy lamily will be cabled. The large cat faniilV of Asia and Africa would hail with joy the news item that a tiger cub has been born in our Zoo. The news is all the more thrilling when it is known that it was the first of the species to be born in this Dominion. Ladv readers in the jungle will regret to hear, how'ever, that the mother ate the cub. The raciness of the "Jungle News" might be *ugmented by the addition of a births, marriages and deaths colufnn. . CHAOTICS. . queer mixture of consonants and rowels printed yesterday for your delectation turns out. to bn t'a ntaatunniissb - - Trans übs tan tia t ion. And .an excellent article in Friday's "Star" suggests* i : Ggtsniarui.