RANDOM SHOTS

Auckland Star, Volume XXXVIII, Issue 154, 29 June 1907, Page 12

RANDOM SHOTS

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I would Hke to knnw.severaj things about our tramway ||yice. .b u . more • .particularly I want tfl|kaow <___„_ yawning gulf at the of Wellesley- '■ street is going to and the - cars are going to rou^ oyously up down Queen-street as j llsed to think that the cars werej a rather effeminate luxury; bnt I an wiser now. I hope that not many pg^] e missed . them so sincerely and.Jonged so ardently for their return.,, S6.|j repeat that i am anxiously waatag for the happy hour iwhen I can once mofejCxush .violently down a steep place &«__ m j table to a car and J**ciwafted without further physical exertion, down into the •heart of the city. I soppose that there is some hidden purposeibe-hind the apparently objectless :,*S-.cavations and engineering being carried on at the Wellesley-street corner. Somebody told mc the other' day that the crust of Auckland wag- too fragile to bear the weight of trjuns y thus accounting for the iron rods and steel bars which are used to . stiffen the ribs of the earth at this par."ticnlar locality. But if' the people who : are repairing the line are' so anxious now ' about the stability of the track, why ~" didn't they think aboutfit before they put the rails down? Sometimes lam almost inclined to believe that there is something in the climate or the atmosphere of Auckland that induces corporate bodies 'to do things that in other ciiaSs They would never dream of attempting. Just think of our Harbour bur City Council! But no. I win he calm, and I will content myself -with hoping that a day will speedily come .when the trams (will run once more. '■'".. | " t ft .tut. * * . . . TT*"Tr*rni*Jß* J And yet I darr't really think I ought to say something about the Harbour Board. It is'snch an extraordinary public body—l mean, it sometimes does such extraordinary things. if I begin to talk about tho silt punts and the Admiralty JBouse, ihkl the powder hulk and the firefloat ■-and those ineffable sheaT legs, I am afraid that I would soon pass my space limit. But I can't help remarking, that once, more the Harbour Board seems'to be in danger of relapsing into its- old frame of mind and squandering money like water on anything and everything that anybody chooses to suggest!;: Of course, I don't mean the harbour works. You see,' we will have to wait.about 25 or 30 years before we have;to expend the whole of that million aid a-Haif—or is it two millions? —and then we—you and I, gentle reader—probably • won't live long enough to pay for it 7 No, a little thing like that doesn't toable mc. What I am. really disturbed about is that the mania for frittering public money away , on casual extravaganeejsi-'seems to be | coming over the Itobour*Bbard; 4?*Mr4r**>**HFor instance, what about this steam > ifcug that is to cost about £16,000 to ' build, and about £3000 a-year-to keep going? Is it really wanted? because f the Harbour Board doesn't seem*to have made up its mind on this point, and some of the members emphatically say "no.". And these new "buildings the 3Larix>Ur Board 'is going to put' tip —I thought.they were going to' cost about £15,000; but now I hear that they are going to be two stories higher than was at first intended, and will cost about £10,000 more. What about the salaries that everybody under the Harbour •Board is being paid, or is - asking for? Really I am afraid that :a revenue of '£80,000 a year must be -too much for 1 some beads. I daresay that I couAdnt stand it myself; hnfc still I-would respectfully suggest to the Harbour Board : that even if it has a ducal income, it really should hot try to spend ffcjall at once. **•!•■}■.. K-M-fr Not long ago I -was talking about the i ingenious American legisl&fcirre that had decided to put a tax on beards. I thought of this the other day when I was read- i ing the Home papers about the big ' -restaurant strike in Paris. The waiters all "came out," and the barmen, porters' and hotel servants geifefklly struck in sympathy. There was an immense amount of excitement, • and a good deal of damage was done to hotel furniture by over-enthusiastic orators, while mass meetings were being held ia the diningrooms ; and the losses of the restaurant proprietors are said to have run into hundreds of thousands of francs. And what was it all about? Merely "the natural and inalienable right of Man to grow his own moustaShe-'' The •heads of tbe large hotels and restaurants in' Paris, had decided that their employees must all shaye,: and the employees resented this infringement of their natural privileges. And they got mightily worked up over" the question, I can assure you. "The masses are in the movement," cried one orator "and who shall say them nay?" As a matter of fact, the waiters in Paris were as much excited over the right, to shave a3 if it were one of Heaven's higbest privileges, instead of being, as it actually is, a most unmitigated nuisance. "But it does seem ironical that while one section of the civilised world is trying to put down beards by law, another section should be driven to the verge of civil war by the suggestion that it is time to drop moustaches.

But, after all, shaving will soon be a thing of the past. Beeftuse whether we decide to grow beards and moustaches or to look "clean," we need shave no more. Has not an ingenious chemist invented a new "soap" which means the utter and final abolition of the razor 1 You just nib beard or moustache, or the place vhere they are trying to grow with this wonderful paste, and then scrape it off with anything handy—the back of a knife or the lid of a matchbox, or the fire shovel, or the brim of your hat, and there you are! This new invention suggests, among other things, possibilities to mc. Here is a • new crime' ready to hand: Suppose your hiwre.a grudge against a man—you hav£pnly;>ttf.iub a little anti-razor paste inside "his hat, and straight away he is bald) or will_ speedily -become. ao= I anr looking anxiously fox the. advent of *he new soap in AucJriaVttd,"ajid ; I will be •very pleased to oh anyone inclined to test its eflSeacv..- ..- .- •_;- ■-..-. • «-■'■:■* _*■'■-' ■ " '