RANDOM SHOTS

Auckland Star, Volume XXXVII, Issue 257, 3 November 1906, Page 12

RANDOM SHOTS

£tsl Wk ZAMnEST

_ Since 1 delivpred my soul on the subject of the conduct or misconduct of the young on board our trams, 1 have met another friend, who assures ;me that things are rather worse on some of our trams. This man, for his sins, is compelled to go to and fro on a suburban railway line several times in the week; iind being a gentleman of retiring and peaceable habits he has been simply shocked by 1 ho extraordinary noise that certain young people make travelling in and out from school. .It docs no irood to say that the train guards ought to look after that sort vi thing. That is not what the guards arc .put on trains to do. 1 name no name.-;, of course. neither of school, nor suburb, nor railway, but if J cared to indicate a little more clearly the direction my remarks are meant to take—ah. well. ' I assure you that i could make trouble for a great variety vi people. "Zaniiel" is a terrible personage when he is roused. I warrant you. and I trust that nothing of this sort will disturb his equanimity again. Let boys and girls b<: eh ldren by all means, but don't let them behave like hooligans and larrikins, more especially to the discomfort of people much older and better than themselves. Xow. do you call this a coincidence? I was reading the English rabies the other day. and 1 observed that some, enterprising scientist had just discovered a new "missing link," —-a coloured gentleman from 1 lio far north of Australia who has got his big toes arranged something like thumbs. Now. J am not passionately devoted to biology: and as for "missing links." i think my liveliest recollection of the phrase ia due to the picture in George Washington Aesop's fables, representing the domestic fowl of a Darwinian turn of mind which went. out into the Canadian woods iv search of the "missing lynx." and the missing lynx found her and had spring chicken "au natural" for supper. It's a charming picture, ajid I mention it only to account for the fact that, I really do take an interest in natural science when 1 relux what 1 am pleased to call my huikL ■i'4"i"i"4 , iM"4"l"i' But in my enthusiasm about Darwin I am drifting away from tho. coincidence: and this is where it comes in. That very day on which the paper informed mc that a missing link with thumb-toes had been discovered in Australia, 1 picked up a copy of an American magazine that had come in the day before by the 'Frisco mail. There, staring mo in the face, were the prints of a, hand-foot: an actual '" ruissing-link " footprint—with the big toe located precisely as described in the Australian cable. I looked into the magazine, and there, sure enough, was a primeval romance by -lack London, telling all about the people of the " long, long agos," who used to wear their big locs just like that. Now, it is possible to argue that i particularly noticed this picture because 1 had rer.d the cable about the. '• missing link " first. But it i.s possible to argm —that is to say it you are a transcendental psychologist — that I wouldn't have noticed the cable about the thumb-toed creature if I hadn't been eoing to see the picture on the magazine cover. Aud this isn't quite so absurd as it looks at first sight. For there, does seem to be something behind coincidences —<l mean something more than the actual sequence of events. And if you once begin to accept instincts and promptings and impulses as valuable pieces of evidence, there is no reason why they shouldn't be prophetic So 1 will leave, it to my readers— did I notice tho cable about the missing link because 1 was going to notice the magazine cover later on in the day? and if not, why not? Answers forwarded with stamps enclosed will be duly it-turned it unsatisfactory. 1 don't know what is the scent ific Flatus of the British Phrenological Society but 1 gather from a lecent report of "its discussions that it has no sense oi I,amour. A certain Dr. Bernard Hollander, who is, I believe, more or less distinguished as a psychologist, has been assuring the society that 'love is a distant amenable to proper medical treatment." Dr. Hollander goes at great length into the question on tiie pathological aide. Jte assures us that the disease assumes three distinct forms— acute, sub-acute, and chronic; and that men and women-are liable to all three varieties. Most of the victims to this fell malady, says the doctor, arc willing to admit that it is in reality "a. temporary aberration of the intellect." An attack is liable to be brought on by "indulgence in social amusements, slothfulness and luxurious surroundings. . In its extreme forms 111* malady is dangerous, tending to homicide or Miu-ide. As to cure, everything should he done to harden the patient physically and mentally—cold Iml,s and douches. e:.rly rising much exercise, hard beds and chairs, and "the study of the exact science?. , •i-4"l"i--S"i"i"i"l"t , \ov\ I desire to protect in.;-; emphatically against Dr. Urrnnr-1 Hollander and all" his" work-. 1 don't presume i-o sa;; that the people with wlemi Dr. Hollander lm* conic in i-aiU-ac.l have never exhibited an ,- of ihe homicidal and suioid.il and maniacal tendencies iviiirii lie attributes U> the net and fact «f "falling in love." Hut i don't mind linking the assertion that very few of them live on this aide 01 the world. 1 do li.it feel willed upon to deiim the condition of being ■■in love' , in precise term.-*; bcenuse most people's experience seems t> i>? thai it i- indefinable. Bur I will g-n so fur us tv assure Dr. Hollander that the malady he describes is not prevalent in the c< lonics. Hut what is the good of arguing with a man like that. The sort of person who will sit down in cold blood and write' a lecture dissecting the "symptoms" of such a case, and tracing the growth of the "malady," and suggesting ■cures"—above all things, the study of the exact science—well, he may be., a good doctor, but he is certainly deficient in nun of the most valuable of all human faculties. At II >mc, it seems ; when ni'jn and women imagine they are in love. they are morbid or homicidal or lunatic. Out here they art. —well , , they are just "in love," and 1 don't sec what more you can say. But then what is tha good ol expecting any sense of humour from a body that calls itself the "British Phrenological Societj?"