THE STORYTELLER.

Auckland Star, Volume XXXVI, Issue 39, 15 February 1905, Page 10

THE STORYTELLER.

! BADLY HAD. One of shrewdest fiusuredersr—his clients generally apply other adjectives to him— sustained a severe, blow to his pride recently.. A well-dressed man in a- great state of nervousness cadled at life office, and after much preliminary. sha.rae-fa«edJy announced that he desired a losn for a few days. Interest he was not particular about, so long as he obtained the money. "The financier knew the type. It represented the men temporarily embarrassed, driven, irato such v. corner that money' must be had at any cost, ax>d occasionally included those wlio had betrayed the trust reposed in t-hein. Provided the security was forthcoming they -were the rery best clients the financier «rald hope, to find. Accordingly ho told his visitor that he could not possibly advance another penny until soane of his securities were realised. The visitor was so overcome that for the moment it appealed likely tihat he woukl die from apoplexy, and the possibility of loeing a good bargain impelled the linaitcicr to relax a. point. Finally the visitor agreed to give a bill of sale over his furniture for the £ 100 he reCfuired, a-rul heartily aud freely he took the financser to a- nice house in suburbs. A neat housemaid admitted them, they made a tour of the premises, and finally the financier handed over the money, and locked away in his safe a bill of sale, and a promissory note bearing i'-- ,- thereat- at 25 per cent, per quarter. Time passed, n.nd a-s applications and threats proved futile, the ftnn.rkcier visited the house where he had seen the furniture. "Oh. no. he isn't here now." repliod»the sa.me neat bouseruand, when Trie asked for his client. The shook she inflicted was tempered by tbe fact, that he noticed the hall-stand was still in the same place. "But he's left, his furniture here," he said. The girl laaighed. -'This isn't his turaitere. It's Mr Snath's. He was only a boarder here, you kiKnv," SMART SAYINGS. How much better it is to get wisdom than gold—aaid how much easier. Happy is the man who i.s admired and praised by his, fellows —for he is dead, j The piire in heart are slow to credit calumnies, but they sometimes like to hea.r about them. A liberal education is consideA'ed, the best dowry, but £10.000 a year is still rather liked. The magic of first love i.s that it goes so soon and is remembered so long. The consciousness of duty pert'onned gives us mnsic at midnight, and so, also, does the man who lives next door. Nosce te ipsum, but don't, tell cvi rybody the whole truth about tho thing you know. ]f you insist on telling the truth you may probably shame tho devil, but you won't be considered very cherry in Society. Xovelty is an essential attribute of tho beautiful —especially novelty in hats. A good reputation i» a fair estate, but there are others on which it is easier to get a mortgage. Virtue alone is powerful, but in combination with American dollars she is invincible, and can even marry a Duke. A good life keeps off wrinkles, but a good wrinkle sometimes keeps on" a lot of trouble. Do good and care, not to whom—no one will notice it. . A man may be judged by the companies he promotes.—Mr Pencil's Proverbial Philosophy. J HE WAS ONLY THE KING. King Leopold, of Belgium, who has been at Biarritz, taking a vacation from the Avorries of kingship in general and Congoland troubles in particular, was the central figure in an amusing incident which set that fashionable French watering place laughing. ! The democratic monarch bathed there las did every otlicr man, privately and J unostentatiously. One morning as lie j came out of the water, he chanced to collide with a portly man, who evidently did not know a king in a bathing suit. '"What do you mean, sir?" he suorted savagely. "Be more careful. I would bare you know I am a member of the Paris City Council." "Then I offer a thousand apologies," replied Leopold at once. "I am only the King of the Belgians." TWO STRINGS. Mr Quick had been in the drawingroom waiting for Miss Van Tassel to come down, but when she entered Mr Quick was not there. Miss Van Tassel's brother was there, however, and to him she looked for an explanation of the young man's disappearance. "Knster, wasn't Mr Quick here a little white ago?" •Yes/ ''Didn't he say anything ■vtoven he left about being back in a few minutes?" "Xo: he didn't •say a word," answered the sphinx-like youth. "He just put on his hat and went out." "Did he seem cross or say anything about my being so long in coming down ?*' '"'No: but I think he forgot his two strings." '"Mercy! child, what do you tnean?'e '"Well, he hadn't, got 'em with him."' "Hadn't got what?" "Why, his t\ro strings. Didn't I tell you ?'" "Now, look heTP, Buster. I want yoi to tell mc what you mean by those two strings- Tell mc every word that you said to Mr Quick, and what, he said to you. and I'll see if I can make out what you mean. Were you in the room when Mr Quick came in and asked for mc?" "Yes." '"Then what did he say?"' "He said 'Hello. Buster! , and I said 'Hallo!"' '"Yes. What then?" "Thou he said: 'Buster, do you love your sister?'" * "And what did you say?" "I said "Yes; do you?" " ''Oh, you horrid boy! And what did he say V "Oh, he just laughed. Then I said: 'Ain't you sister's baau? , " "Ob, dear! What did he say to that?" "Oh, lie said: 'Well, perhaps I am. , ' , '■'Then what did you say?" "Why, then I said: 'Won't you let mc ?ee your two strings?" " "Mercy!" she screamed. "Tho two strings again! Whatever do .you meaili Buster?" "That'a what Mr Quick siskcil i-ie. «s if lie didn't know anything about them."' "Well, go on. Tel] mc ivhat happened next." Vl "Why, then I said I heard you tell mother you had two strings to your bow, and then he got. up and went out. I expect he'd forgotten to bring the strings with him." But she had fainted.