THE STORYTELLER

Auckland Star, Volume XXXVI, Issue 33, 8 February 1905, Page 9

THE STORYTELLER

A NEW LINE. { "This is the life-line, - ' says the amateur palmist, who is reading the hand of the young woman. '"It shows that you will live to a ripe old age. This is the head line. You have wonderful talent for writing. This the heart line. Liits of romance and a happy marriage, with just trunkfuls of tine dresses and things."' "How do you know about the tlresses?"' "Why, here's the clothes line. It runs clear around w>ur hand."' ■ A CURIOUS DUEL. Maurus Jokai, the famous Hungarian novelist, established several newspapers, and though lie jjave little attention to them after they were once fairly started he was always ready to assume the responsibility for any articles that appeared in them. For this reason when Frank Pulsky, a noted member of the Diet, told hia that he had been bitterly attacked in one of hfe journals and that he would expect him either to apologise or iigh-t a duel he coolly replied that he would not apologise and lhat he would light trim at any hour and place he might name.. The two therefore fought, and after the contest was over Jokai went tip to his opponent, shook him warmly, by the hand and said:— "Now that I have given you every satisfaction I will thank you to tell mc why we have fought. You complain about an article in one of my papers, but I didn't write the article, nor have I read it, nor even seen it. Come, tell mc what there was in it that displeased you so much.. TOTJTHTTrL POLITENESS. i The tram car was crowded when the tall woman struggled up the aisle and grasped a strap. "Twelve men were seated on each side, but not one arose and offered his seat. At last a small boy, touched her on the arm. '•You can have my seat, lady," called, the youngster. "Thank you," said the tall woman, seating herself in the vacant space, '-"and. now what prompted you to do that, my; little man? Was it not politeness?" M No7' replied the boy, "there's a nafl sticking up in that seat." , MODERN NEEDS. What we want nowadays is: Weather that will suit everybody. An hotel where the servants scol* tins. * A play with no villain and tare* heroes. A day without a word about Bill Bailey. " Tobacco for nothing, and pipes equally chea-p. Fish without bones, and meat on the same principle. (iis at at penny per 1000 ft, a-nd electricity for nothing. Some weeks with fourteen days, and others with only week-ends. The omission of "With compliments'* on bills, and li P*id :, in its stead. — i KNEW WHAT HE WANTES. He was a testy old gentleman, and tti* horse-dealer muttered words in a weird, .sad tongue as he led out anienl after animal for his critical inspection "This 'as been a fine boss in bM said the dealer, as he led out f> «ioic* specimen need not be repeated. What the testy gentleman said «f the speciment need not be repeated. "Well, 'ere is a haniinal whatfll make a flier later on." said the dealer, catching another of his stock-in-trade by the bridle. This was the formula for at least half-a-dozen introductions, and the testy on* grew more so than ever. "Look here." he roared, "you've shown mc the 'has-beens' and the 'going-to-be's^ , now lefs have a look at the 'is-erst'" — ■■ I ' HIS PAYMENT. The stout man nonchalantly finished his coffee, and condescendingly allowed the proprietor of the restaurant to light the choice Havana which he had just ordered. Then he looked over his bill. "rTm!" be .said sternly. "Seven shillings—eh? Now. look here, landlord, last time I was here you may remember, you had ine knieked out merely because I was unable to pay your paltry; bill." •■\Really," said the proprietor, *-I had. forgotten. But suppose we let bygones be bygones?" "By" all means 1" said the stont man. "I merely reminded you of the incident because-^-er —well, Tm afraid I shall have to trouble you again., PRESENCE OF MIND. A crowded train was about to leave the platform, when to the door of a first-class compartment, which was already full, came a pompous middle-aged man, who insisted on the guard finding ■ room for him. ' "The train is full. sir. and there ie not a vacant seat, , ' said the official civilly. "X don't care. I've paid ray f.are. and I insist on a place being found. Why . don't you examine the tickets and see : how many third-class passengers there 1 : are turning mc out?" • I The guard took the hint, and asked 'i to *cc the tickets of thoeo in the cora- - Ipartment. One unfortunate man'was ' I found with a third-class ticket, and ha ijwas promptly expelled. The potnpou* I man quickly took his seat, and the train '! started. '•"That's a bit of luck for mc." ho said, addressing his fellow-travellers; "I'm a i third-class passenger myself. ,, HOW IT HAPPENED. The cabman's allseed hors<- was look- , ing very sad indeed, and his ancient ! vehicle bore evident traces of a receit collision. i The driver of thp furniture van, who i had been responsible for the damage, looked on cynically while the cabman gave his version of the affair. i " 'Ow did it happen ?" he said, when ; called upon by the constable for his ■ version of the affair: "well. I'll tell you. ! The driver of that pore old framework i ought to* be ashamed of "isself. He'd I been nvcr-fepdinp: the por? animal—pive him two brans instead of one—and that made him sleepy. He never said a -word to mc about his boss hem' gorged and tired, so when 'e'leaned up agin hit van and dozed off. I didn't see 'Ira; no one ! couldnt sec that razor edge. Well, I moved my hosses, and then I 'ears a. * rattle of bones, and looks round, to see 1 Yd fallen down thro , 'arinj no means of support/ , "But the cab?" J ''Oh. as to the cab. somebody was silly, t. enough to strike a match on it, aa , pushed it orer." ■■ — -