Father Poland as a Punch-Maker.

Auckland Star, Volume VI, Issue 1683, 10 July 1875, Page 6 (Supplement)

Father Poland as a PunchMaker.

Even Poland likes his I would rather count all the money in the Treasury, which has to be done before Spinner leaves, than undertake to tell you how many cocktails have disappeared inside of that ' old blue coat,' all buttoned down before. When he first came here some of the old boys thought it would be splendid to see old dignity. P. ' how come you so,' so they attempted to 'put up a job' on bim. A Sag party was inaugurated, and the «waiter' was implicitly instructed to give the member from Vermont a double dose each time. This he faithfully carried out. But what was the astonishment of all when every time the ' wine went round' the old duffer complained of the weakness of his beverage, and made the waiter brace it up. They had reckoned beyond their host. He was as bright as a new shilling in the morning, and as he gazed on the prostrate forms of the conspirators, like Alexander, he siahed for more —whisky— to conquer. The joke leaked out, and the Green Mountain boy set his wits to work to retaliate. On a certain evening he invited the same parties to a kind of a hot scotch masquerade. The guests assembled 'on time.' Forth is.brought the ' whisky,' smoking hot. It was not long before it was discovered that the punch was too strong. ' Add some more hot water,' said the Judge. The suggestion was acted upon, and again and again the water was added, still the stronger the beverage became. It wa» wonderful. Finally it was decided that the strength was only in the imagination of the drinkers. This decision was, however, reversed when the gay worshippers at the shrine of Bacchus sought the ' soft side of a plank' for a downy couch. There was some talk of a partition of Poland the next day, when it was discovered that the magic kettle which was supposed to contain water was full of whisky all the time, and every drop added therefrom only made the punch stronger. —'Washington Corr. of the Rochester ' Express.'