MAN ABOUT TOWN.

Auckland Star, Volume III, Issue 623, 10 January 1872, Page 2

MAN ABOUT TOWN.

" Let dogs delight to bark and bite, Eor 'tis their nature too ; But neighbours Uey should never fight, Because it will not do." So said Dr. Walts, but how little people pay attention to his maxims, may be seen from last evening's police reports. The Court-revelled in assault cases, and the approaches to the Court were literally teeming with witnesses. In one case the complainant actually took "Joy" in the proceedings while the defendant felt compelledjfor resortto comforting influence to a * certain " Boveridge" for support during the trying ordeal, even after taking a stimulant at the " Auckland" first. The good woman had been slapped in the fane by a monster of a man, but deposed on oath that she had not looked in a glass and did not know if the blow left a mark. Her witness too, with great simplicity could could not positively swear whether the blow was a severe one, as she did not feel it. Counter summonses followed and resulted in both being bound over to preserve the peace, but such was the confidence each party had in their own cause and the results, that they failed to be provided with the necessary friends to "go bail," and were consequently detained together.looking a regular "happy family." It would be a groat saving of time and trouble in similar cases, if the parties bailed one another, it would obviate their putting themselves under obligations to friends. And then, in the event of any further outbreak between them, if A. assaulted B. he must pay £20 to B's £10, and if B. retaliated it would cost him £20, and a £10; so that each would suffer to the extent of £30, and the State would be £60 in pocket by the transaction. No one couldcomplainoftheirfolly.butthemselves. Another case between a builder and a tailor was very amusing, and the tailor had taken the precaution to have his bail handy in case he was wanted, but it was a storm in a tea-cup and ended in nothing beyond being fatal to the tailor's pitcher, which had evidently been taken to the well once too often. It was all about the right to draw water from a certain well which belonged to the complainant and stood on his property, but the tailor had evidently been reading about Odger and Bradlaugh, and denied the landlord's right to the property at all. He would have a fair division of the earth's produce and would recognise the rights of no man The proffered pitcher full of water would not be accepted as a concession, it was demanded as a right. But what astonished everybody was the extraordinary evidence given by the plaintiff's witnesses who were called to prove the assault alleged to have been committed. All agreed that they heard the angry alteication, they saw the breaking of the pitcher at the well, the off-turned waistcoat of the defendant (coat, he had none), the upturned sleeve . and uplifted hands in an offensive and aggressive attitude, but they beheld no more, they never saw those hands brought down, they probably turned away in horror at the scene, and could not gaze on such a spectacle, therefore closed their eyes, and could say no more about the occurrence. The worthy J.P.s dismissed the summons. If a finger raised in a threatening attitude constitutes an assault it does not require much gumption to denote what the actions of the accused constituted. The Bench declined to bind him to the peace, to use its own «xpression " not this time." Do they anticipate a renewal of the aggression if so is prevention better than cure? Bravo, Ropata ! to divide the £1000 reward for the capture of Kereopa among your followers—a noble deed, worth recounting ; there was no portioning it out in " lays," too, by which you would get the lion's share, but equally did you divide the amount amongst your followers to the lowest grade. Do you think a lesson might be learnt from your behaviour by any of our Volunteer officers who compete for prizes along with their privates? Is your conduct worthy of emulation by these gentlemen ? Talking about JEereopa reminds one of the preparations for his execution. The rehearsal of the proceedings beforehand by the gaol authorities, with the lay figure of the murderer, composed of a sandbag. Just fancy the mock procession, the ascent to the scaffold, the doomed figure being assisted up by sturdy warders, the " last dying speech and confession" inaudibly uttered, " the glare of that wild despairing eye " before the drawing over of the ghastly white cap, the adjustment of the fatal noose,

Those pinioned arms, those hands that ne'er Shall be lifted again—not even in prayer. The hangman's appeal for forgiveness, the last shake of the hand, the hurrying from the drop of gaol officials and chaplain, leaving the trembling wretch to his fate; the drawing of the fatal bolt, the fall of the drop, the dull thud, the tremor through the spectators as the quivering " sandbag" hangs suspended in midair, that but a moment before was resting on the drop above, —is all a picture that one who had once seen would never forget through all the following vicissitudes of life. This is how Lieutenant-General Robertson replies to those who have remarked upon the dress, or rather undress, of some of the Thames Scottish. " I request your anonymous correspondent to publish his name, otherwise I brand him as a sneak and a coward, and will treat him as all sneaks and cowards should be treated— with silent contempt." This is sublime, and calls to mind an occurrence between two gentlemen. "Sir," said one, after receiving a knock-down blow f?otn the other, " did you mean that blow in jest." "No," replied the other, "I was never more in earnest in my life." "I am glad of that," answered the first, " for I never take a joke." The fertile brains of Messrs H. L. Cohen and Co. have been at work. They apologise to the public for holding a sale on Saturday, because the gentleman is leaving by the mail steamer for the South. This is very considerate of them, and they deserve great praise for their good manners, in excusing themselves for breaking their agreement with the public. It shows that they at least have a conscience. To successfully throw a bouquet to an actress at a theatre requires some skill and judgment. It should not be thrown to hit the lady on the head iv the manner that was witnessed one evening at the Itoyal, nor should it tumble in the orchestra, or fall on the stage in such a place and such a time that it shall be difficult to say for whom it is

intended. On Friday last a bouquet of of enormous dimensions was hurled at Miss Stephenson with alarming velocity, which, had it not missed the mark, must have felled her to the stage. On picking up the floral offering it was as much as she could carry with both her hands. A nice summer cabbage of similar size w<Hild no doubt have been much more accep^ »■ it carefully thrown upon the stage, s^.^ damage neither the recipient no cabbage.