MAN IN COUNCIL.

Auckland Star, Volume II, Issue 603, 15 December 1871, Page 2

MAN IN COUNCIL.

By Geoffeey Soktsawdek, Esq.

There was a wonderful display of cheap patrfotism and bad English in the Council on Wednesday evening It was a bril- , liant display of political" pop-guns. Mi . Carleton led off the rhetorical fusillade , in a speech, in which the " simplicity of , the dove " " the wisdom of the serpent, f and the " cackling" of his own enormous egotism was hashed up. It was a repast for the veriest political groundlings. Mr , Creighton and Mr Buckland have become " gushingly Provincial of late." Mephistopheles declares that he saw the former , gentleman dance " many a time and oft to the centralist bag-pipes. Mr Buckland i is any thing and every thing. If Mr Creighton ; will hold the candle he will carry the snuffers. Of course the " child of Eden " is physically small; he is " coustutionally" great; a permissive cupid in a species of political burlesque. Mr Ellis is now a General Government supporter. : What a chameleon facility of change there is about local politicians. . They come out of their holes in charming colors when Job, the great sun of Bill-budget, shines. Mr Cadman has taken the office of^ keep- i ing the saurians on " yellow-belly " flies. The last gentleman is becoming the "funny." man of the Council,—" The : Coromandel nugget against the Howick potato," that's his motto. And how delightful it wa3 to see Mr Sheehan fleshing his maiden speech right in the bowels of the old dragon of the Bay of Islands. At the division, Mr Ellis was, as: usual with him, looking after No. 1, and discovered when he beheld the mirrors in the wash-house, the dragon was nowhere. He said his .say and skedaddled. Those who saw the dreadful creature go home said he was muttering audibly, " Sheehan's arrow was feathered truly." It was really a venture in this very young David to tell Carleton he was a greater public sinner than Pontius Pilate. What a dreadful excitement in the Stranger's Gallery. Dr Wood, Mr Lewis, and Dr Rayner, "the statues of the new waterworks ; their heads were drooping as though they had undergone a new baptism of spirits. That dreadful member for Rodney, to talk about re-opening that slough of the distillery—Bellamys. Would it not be as well to have hon. members searched when going to their legislative duties, so that no other medicine but those of the doctors should be found upon them. Physic to the dogs, cried the hon. member for Howick, I'll none of it. See how I have improved on P.B. (pensioners' brandy); and there is Mr Lundon, he looks " pale beverage " indeed. How elegantly rings the voice of Howick, Whiskey! Whiskey! Whiskey for my Johnny! For whiskey is the life of man, To sup it up, " My Johnny." But its fie upon you Mr Farnall. Could you not appreciate the sighs of ladies who admire your good looks. And that classic beard, " Hyperion's to a Satyr's," or Mr Freor's. Fancy the revolution that you will cause in human understandings. They shall be in the air instead of on " the floor of the House." Christmas is coming, and hon members will not do without brandy sauce if there is brandy to be had. Plum-pudding will never do without ; and theu there are the &c, &c. — the tobacco pipes, the extravagant vestas which are rubbed-up against every post, breath as well as the oil of Nicotine. " Horrible, most horrible." But oh my readers, lend your gracious hearing to what lam going to unfold. The member of one of the city wards is going to give the members a Christmas treat. They are to come at middle day. They are to travel to the Hock Company's Baths and have a plunge to cool their heads. After which ha<n sandwiches and porter will.be served. Those who do not like the porter will have coffee and pipes. There is a very loud protest against water drinking in the halls of the Council. Members are petting loud in their declarations of " acting on the square." The number of square gin bottles in the vicinity of the 'building is certainly extraordinary. The teetotallers in the stranger's gallery say if ■ the resolution is passed they will be obliged t9 ask Inspector Broham to tell off another constable for Bellamy's. But the Inspector should tell him also not to " get on" too much or there will be danger in the experiment, Fraternity between constables and legislators is not favorable to °iood government, and the pair of them would be for ever putting each other on the " additional estimates." It would be everlastingly " can you do another." It is seriously intended to have a series of grand balls at Christmas given by the Woman's Eights Committee of ladies to which all the members are invited. The bill of fare will be provided by the " one man in the gallery," and will comprise apple tarts and cray fish. It will be the most brilliant affair " out of season" that, has ever been known. Mr John Gordon is to be the master of the ceremonies. A famous implement broker of Flat Bush is to dance the Highland Fling without "harrowing" up any body's feeling. Mr ! Cadman and the goldfields members will sing " Spead the Plough. Mr Buckland will give a stave of " John Barleycorn," supported by Mr Maclean on Protection. A deputation from the reporters waited on the committee to inquire whether those balls were to be of a private character and they were told to go to the d (printers).