THE MAN ABOUT TOWN.

Auckland Star, Volume II, Issue 559, 25 October 1871, Page 2

THE MAN ABOUT TOWN.

No. XLVI.

The Aucklandßowing Club having determined, in a spirit of unparalleled generosity, to send down a boat's crew at the forthcoming regatta at Lyttelfcon, on condition that the people of Auckland pay all the expenses by public subscription. I am happy to bear my testimony to the wisdom of the decision. Should, however, a suilicient amount not be forthcoming, the Club fully, recognise the right ot the members who may be nominated to take part in the struggle paying their own expenses; and in such case, indeed, earnestly recommends them to do so, as a worthy example to their successors. They have also formally ackowledijeJ the right of the competitors, on their return to Auckland, after winning the race (which, of (-oiir.se, they are sure to do), to give a champagne supper to the members of the Club.-rso that on the whole some very pleasant times may be anticipated out of this great contest. There -ippears to besome little indecision as to the proper men who would be likely to form the bfe*t: boat's crew. Under these circumstances, the Secretary of the Club ha. asked. my opinion on the ' subject. After* mature thought and deliberation, I have much pleasure in recommending two boats' crews to go immediately in training, the best, of the two to be scut down (at their own expense) to the for.hc.nninj race. Crew of the Never-sat/-Die (a aev boat, to be expressly built lor tlie occasio^-5 ■it Moutague's toy warehouse) : MessrJ , M-cr-dy (coxswain), P-h>y, |D-dl-y, L-w ss-n, and M-rks. These gentlemen are of stout habit of body, and with their known pluck and determination fa " J or die," they would, I have n 6 doubt, come in- —let us say last, though by no means least. On tlie other hand, I have chosen a.good light set of young fellows, who, I 'believe, with proper 'handling, would show the world that they had some opinion of themselves, if no one else had. Crew of the Tittlebat : Messrs. £}~ J-iies (coxsWain), Leu-Ox, Dr. l.e-e. P. D-rb y, and H. W-tis'—(his —name.) The Tittlebat is lo be converted, I understand, 'from one of Murray's Roman chariots. The re. is <: nttle doubt that the men wbiild" be well trained, for the coxswain is one of those lively little men whose exclamations of encouragement or reprobation, alone,: Would doimuch to urge the boat fpr.ward. Of theothermen.it is unnecessary for me to say anything, they are game to pull 'anything from a coracle to an ironclad. Should the, first boat's crew be phoseai: they will be'^ble to keep the club supplied with refreshments of a firi't-class'brand,-greenstone hearts, and of gasfitting joints, while, if the ot iers should be selected, a supply of pickles, potatoes, and maize, old shovels, and plates, Cosmopolitan scrip,; 'and Scotch thistles, could be at once obtained. These would for-iir- a very good foundation "for .the coming supper,-and the remains might tie carefully.put by for the spread, to be. afterwards given by tho club on tbe occasion "of their grand amateur performance." ..,'...}! ,'i > ■

I have heard a good many instances of colonial " cheek," but when I think of what occurred on Saturday, I positively blush for my adopted country. It appears that a quiet inoffensive lot of fellows, known to themselves and the World at largo by the title of " The Press 'Cricket Club," keep their bats, stumps, balls, and other paraphernalia in a hut in the Albert Barracks. The key of this is left wit -.. a certain party in the barracks (who shall be nameless for a very good reason) and is given up to the members oh application. On Saturday a number of hobbledehoys imagined that they would like a game, and;oue ofthem, better informed than the rest, went to the parly who shall be nameless, asked for the koy in the name of the Press Club (to which he is as likely ever to belong as a young gorilla is to the Knglish House of Commons), and obtained possession of, the bats, stumps, &c. The mob of hobbledehoys began at once to play with other people's property, and as it came cheap appeared to like it. Buckwater, Wool, Peahen, Mavis, and Hoiling Stone no doubt highly enjoyed'themselves. They certainly amused the spectators who had rarely seen such an exhibition of ignorance in the; matter of cricket, or such an utter absence of manners in the matter of

common politeness. However, their little game was soon put a stop to, for one or two of the rightful owners coming up, at once took possession of their property, the purloiners walking away looking decidedly sheepish. I see that the renowned Dr. Samuels has invented a" Summerfieldpill," which, he states, if thrown into bad water will at once remove all impurities by burning them up. I should strongly advise that several tons of these pills be at once sent for to this place, for most assuredly such bad water could be obtained no where else in the colonies. I would also urge upon my friends, the teetotallers, to send fora "supply, for ifc is a well-known fact that most of the stuff drank in Auckland under the name of beer, spirits, wine, &c, is made not a hundred miles away, with the bad water complained of. What an excellent thing it would be to have an emissary from the teetotallers in every public-house, so that whon he saw a glass of liquor about to be lifted to the owner's mouth, he might drop one of Summerfield's pills into it, instantly producing a body of dame under the very nose of the drinker, thus giving him a foretaste of what he might expect in the future. If this wou.'d not cure him, I don't know what would. It would be far-better, in my opinion,, than any amount of publio lecturing. -ryi y How good we are in' Auckland to be sure, and how sacredly \ve observe the Sabbath ! No shops are open; here—neither bakers nor butchers, nor is any work allowed to be done-^except by the unfortunate domestic servants of "the rich ; and yet, I am. informed, there are, a few unfortunate*pdrsohs- near Auckland who have to slave as hard on the Sunday as on any other day. I am tpld, in the strictest confidence, that there is a certain party, living not-a-hundted miles from Auckland, and not a thousand from the water side, who makes" oblong blocks of burnt clay. The ntfan is upright, industrious, and sober, and^a strict Christian. None go to church more regularly than he, yet work goes on in his raw and burnt clayfield on Sunday, and his men work just as hard, with the exception, perhaps, of getting a few more pints of beer, as in the week-day. The owner sees the raw materialput in thekiln, then goes away to church, leaving his men hard at it, and as he puts a three-penny bit in the plate on leaving, people say, '" What a good man !" Now 1 ask this man, living not a hundred miles from Auckland, to be very careful not to continue in his present brickmaking arrangement on a Sunday, or it is possible that" I may be inclined to give his name to' the world—this good man's name, not living a hundred miles from Auckland, and having a brickfield not a thousand vavds from the water. The Vrfniih** x ' . r Kirn ;y y ;., -A- ■ &t 91 ~ ,y j.;'j., j ,;■ ■y, {7'liixi I kj A 0,1 3 »m .■ HdTE j 3CAJ? ir yyrovY,Y,,. ai m. j ■'. I' r. . '.. *$*"* . iw« d j ■r,w ■"-'.' ■-■"■ ■>' -"■ ■*■ ' '": ■ ■'■ • '"''i; . i yy h . I sincerely t . .ispeetor of nuisances wu. cd with a decent suit of clothes, and if betakes my advice he will always keep his ' coat well brushed, and the buttons well polished, and make himself as imposing as possible before the Board. It was not until the late Inspector's clothes got1 shabby that he lost his hold on the affections of the members, which sub-, sequeutly led to his being requested to resign. So I tell you, Mr. ]^ew Inspector bf Nuisances, whoever you1 are, ".keep yo.ur>elf smart, and always maintain your dignity." While on the subject, I might say that I trust you will not descend to •the duties ofAan'errand boy, but keep yourself select.- ■ I trust a bill will be introduced into the Provincial Council at an "early date to provide a " washerwoman, clear starcher, and ironer," for tlie use of the City. 'Bolice.'Alt is evident to nic that these;; unfortunate m^if will 'never,' q.u£.of their presenF'salarieSj be able, to pay ther-heavy.. expenses entailed upon them /by.'tlie fine; we&thnv A" But, ;perhap.s^ tbe: Council meets, the Corpora tiohv will have taken them over; if so, doubtless, theirwages will be raised, ( and permission given'tMAM lteep.theirihats.AglOvW.-and' trousers clean withfthe Twhite.w'Bl"sh'brush. This would ,come very cheap, and,,be a, great'sa^ii'g-oFtiinei.1' " " !' ! v ' ' NAT'rfiii-iEt Beeswing.