THE MAN ABOUT TOWN.

Auckland Star, Volume II, Issue 550, 14 October 1871, Page 2

THE MAN ABOUT TOWN.

NO. XLIIf

I observes that my particular friend Monsieur VI ore I has worked his way as far a? Wellington, where he is advertising the great cures effected by him in Auckland andWauganui. The " Cures" of this city were certainly affected by him to a considerable degree, and many of them are anxiousi}7- looking for his return. It is a great pity that tho Provincial Government can'!; take more care of their property. 1 am told that a box of books a-1 dressed to the Provincial Council Library was left on the wharf all one uij»ht last week, and during a very heavy downpour of rain. I understand that they were a donation from the Auckland and I)rury Alliance, consisting of teetotal pamphlets, temperance anthems, and hymns on the wine of Cana, by J — G-r—in, lectures on abstinence by Os —d L—s, and telling denunciations of the present drinking customs by the great Id —r. The person in charge apparently thought, that, being so strongly impregnated with the i watery element, a little rain more or less would not hurt them, and so they remained >v the wharf all through the night to spoil. There will no doubt lie a committee of enquiry on the subject when trie L.'ounei] meets, for tho members have thus been debarred of much light and pleasant reading—suitable especially for Bellamy's. I really wish the expense, of winding up companies wa""& not so great. 1 would do this sort of thiug by contract for half the money. Besides, i. consider it, altogether unfair upon the unfortunate shareholder that he should bear ail the loss. Why not let shareholders and creditors suffer alike? Make the one pay half the debts, and the other accept half. This would be _; good plan, and would prevent much oP the wholesale credit now given, for tradesmen know they will get back the whole of their money in the long run, with a very good percentage added. But there is no piiy for the unfortunate shareholder —he must pay up : aye, even to the last farthing. I have just had a bill sent in to me for something like .£SO, when I am ready to fake my affidavit that I don't owe more than £5. Mosv the expense:, have run up is more than 1 can say.

Of course Dick was at the Rowing Uiub dinner the oilier night. Whether tho meal agreed with him or not is mure than I can fell ; but the next morning 1 heard him remark that he never saw such a hungry lot of fellows in his life as these rowing chaps—and he thought they must be going into training for Ihe Inter-provincial boat race. He also said (uid this T can't easily behove) (hat they looked much more at thmr east; than when they appeared ill their grand amateur performance at the Prince Wales, when, for the mus! part, the mini of every one of them was concentrated upon hi?! toes loan alarming degree. The dinner was got up in C «'s best style, and with iiuiie of your French and Prussian gewgaws and jaw-breaking names. There were some splendidly gl -ssy eels, just taken from the mouth of the sewer, where they had buried themselves deep iv the mud, in anticipation of the coming feast; several pounds of tripe and chittlings, and a number of Swede turnips and blue peas. After the meal was ended, the convivialities flew fast and furious, and 13. and D. distinguished themselves quite as much as upon the occasion of the Great Amateur Performance, only in auother way. it had been intended that a grand i recession of boats should take place before dinner; hut, in consequence of the weather being slightly cold,- and tlie wind making tlie water rough, this highly-edif, ing ceremony was postponed until aft r the dinner, when a large tub was bro *ght iu*k) tlie room, placed upon the table, and filled with P punch. Into this tlie procession of boats, with the different crews, was placed, and was a most exciting spectacle. Ultimutely the boats capsized, and the crews were thrown out, wli'-n they found that the only way to extrieat • .h'.urue'ves from their difficulties w;vs to |ut themselves outside of the liquor in which they floated, which tiiey very "-"''on did, apparently to their own intense satifactioni leaving the bats high and dry, '■■-bile they were wet inside and

We occasionally bear of strange vagaries on the part of various Highway Boards. Dick has lately been busily employed in examining the reports and balance sheets of .these great an 1 flourishing institutions, lie pays that they are ill I dreadfully orderly excepting that of \'j •— ng c, wjiere there is a most d--light■■ul disregard lor going into particulars, for there is a sum of £292 put down for wiiat Pdo you think. Why for sundries. bather a modest sort of an item truly. How many glorious little suppers does not this scene present to our wondering vision—how many nice little (lickings to the parties concerned in the way of repairs to back-yards, drains, and.other little private jobs, which we are sure the ratepayers would be only too dolighted to discharge for the poor hardworking trustees. Dick says he shall take a walk as far as M — ng—e next week, and see if he cau learn any particulars about this sum.

I was rather amused at what tod*k place at a meeting of the Harbour Hoard on Tuesday,last Messrs. T- gs and Mac— dy. known to fame as city councillors, were having a " wire-in" on the subject of tho clerk's leave of absence, when up rose

:- ea£ (Vdmiral .C—-,—■y to his feet, and protested against the importation into that i).>ardofanysuchconductas thatv. hioh was wont to happen at the City .Board. They won hi try to keep themselves respectable, halving a dignity to keep .up ; and tho big member in question, if he wanted to strip off and light, had better wait until the next meeting of the Town Council, when they could "have it out" under the auspices of the Mayor, who had lately giye/i his patronage to many other equally harmless forms of recreation. Of course l here was a great laugh at this-; and as a ,i ; ni that there was no bad feeling in tho mJ'tt-T, J—n C-p—d sent over for a collide of bottles of p.b., which effectually soothed all irritated feelings, und sent the reporters to sleep. At the Hoard of Kducation the*-other day, an application was received from a school-master asking that two of his scholars might be assisted at the rate of threepence a week caoh—grand total, sixpence a week—as their parents were too

poor to pay for their-education. After a long discussion, the Board was going to postpone the motion, on account ot' its immense importance to the country, when B —bbleand B —rst with a sudden magnanimity declared that if the thing was not settled at once, every member of tho Board then sitting would stultify himself, with which I perfectly I agree. So the motion was adopted, 13—;bble and B—rst remarking that the applicant was a great goose, that he hadn't asked for a shilling a week for each of the pupils, instead of threepence, if he had the application would have been granted at once; with which I again perfectly agree. Moral : Don't be too modest; in a community like this it don't wash. They seem to be having very lively times of it at the Pijis. To say nothing of the sickness which occurs there in the natural course of things, there is a good deal of physical sickness, brought on by the use of tho pistol, club, and bowie knife. To any person about to emigrate to that highly flourishing little country, I can conscientiously recommend, as a sure specific iv all such emergencies, a strong dose of Sniggerson's Anaconda of Rifle Blossom, to bo purchased only from the inventor, Nathaniel Beeswing.