THE MAN ABOUT TOWN.

Auckland Star, Volume II, Issue 517, 6 September 1871, Page 2

THE MAN ABOUT TOWN.

No. XXIX.

'The City Council elections are now on, and it behoves you, fellow citizens and citizenesses, to hasten to the poll and give jour votes in favour of the best men. Of course they can't all be lavourites, but a good many of them are; and as the matter is one of vital importance not only to Auckland but New Zealand generally, I have decided upon issuing a " tip " for the benefit of the oommrmity at largo. Still, being, as I said before, nearly all favourites, the running will be pretty close. They aro a likelylooking lot, embracing all shades of political (arid other) opinions for the public weal. Taking them as they stand, Staincs, " the people's champion," appears first upon the list. Of course there's no doubt about him; he's sure to be one of the three winning horses. But whether he will come iv at a canter is yet for us to see. His well known constitutional principles ; his universal motto of " Jivery man for himself, and the devil take the hindmost;" his general urbanity and courtesy of manner; his freedom from anything like personalities, and his great respect for the chair (though not always for Ihose sitting in it), entitle him to the confidence of tho electors, whom I call upon to return him at tho head of the poll. For what should I do, I ask, without him; whom should I Lave to fly to as a lust resource when I am in want of an extra paragraph, if the People's Champion were withdrawn from the Borough Council, to the privacy of his back yard, and the cares oMiis marine stores? Therefore J call upon my thousands of readers to return him, if uot for their own, for my sake. Next, we have a very (Smart-looking chap, who, if he has done nothing else while in the Council, has persistently opposed Mr. Staines. This great man is well known in connection with the Parnell Highway Board, where, until another gentleman was appointed in his stead, he was considered the neplus ultra at road-making, and in the management of district jobs generally. Therefore I consider Smart's chances of getting in again are, to say the least of them, about two to four. Dr. Lee is undoubtedly a good man, and in a scuffle, where a medical man is wanted upon the spot, will be found rery useful in the case of bloody noses, while Kissling should be able to keep order with a copy of" Burn's Justice" or " 131a(;kstone'.s Commentaries " before him. Then in a ruck come" Cuter," who administers to the comforts of the soul ; " Hobbs," who will be able to take their measure as well as any body; '' Kirby," whose knowledge of railway and other large engineering works are proverbial, and who would therefore be n useful man in the consideration of the best way of laying down a succession of drainage pipes to let the coarse air escape from the Council Chamber ; while last, though by no means least, comes Sceat.s, the man of I3cer, who, notwithstanding that he had his faco scratched on Friday, announces with great determination his intention of going to the poll. You are all now neck-aud-neck—put your best foot forward in the race, and all iS'at says is, " May the best men win."

" Come and see the Donkey." Such is the invitation held out to passers-by of the Circus. Upon an illuminated placard there is the figure of a clown—with the words underneath, como and "see the donkey." Dick says he went in several nights, and could see no animal of the kind that ho was awnro of. The design is no doubt highly original, and reflects considerable credit upon the designer, who ought to do one more, and then die. To say the least, it is anything but complimentary to Mr. Cowle ; and I think, ia juitico to that humorous clown, that the photograph of the draftsman should be pit under (lie superscription, and people Ihen li-ft to draw their own conclusions as to the identity of tho animal.

So Staines has been at his high jinks again. His speech on Tuesday was a masterpiece of eloquence, and for a study of which I must refer my readers to the daily papers of that date. Ho came down very hot upon the Mayor, who writhed and doubled up under his pointed sarcasm ; but suddenly recovering himself, as lie thought that might be the last time lie would have a chance of slapping at old Staines, lie ordered him to sit down, or, under the powers vested in him, he would fine him £5. At this the gallant champion sank into his seat like a stone, either .from the effect of his Worship's threat, or from other cause still more potent. Whichever it was, he drew forth his handkerchief, and wept aloud as he thought of tho baf c ingratitude displayed by the Mayor, who be it remembered always has —so. at least Staiues considers —done him out of a good dinner of tripe and onions. J3ut here was adding insult to injury, and when the threat came forth from the Mayor, a sigh might have been heard (but wasn't) from tho patriot's bosom, aye, even to tho end of the Queen-street wharf.

So the Scotch Company is unfait accompli, and it ha?: been unanimously decided to forego forever the vulgar breeches and don the kilt and plaid. I await the result with some little curiosity, and trust the first church parade they attend they will send either Dick or myself a special invitation.

I see our worthy Superintendent has brought in a bill to abolish imprisonment for debt. I never before knew he was such, a clever fellow, and I now unani-. mously state that I will vote for him for anything and everything—if the bill passes, for there are some liabilities that I myself would fain be relieved of as early a3 possible, without haying to pay the piper. Should this bill become law, what a delightful thing it will bo to know that we can go and " stick up" as much as possible wherever we can get tick, without the slightest fuar of rusticating for a few months at Mount Kdon.

Nathaniel Beeswing,