"MEN WHO HATE FALLEN."

Auckland Star, Volume II, Issue 509, 28 August 1871, Page 3

"MEN WHO HATE FALLEN."

To the Editor of the E'tenihg Stab.

—When a man sita down to his breakfast and comfortably peruses his "Times' he expects to become ", au fait" at the price of stocks of the money market, to hear of Mrs. Jones last baby and other, matters of public interest but little does be expect to see before him, an accurate account oi.hia whole life.— I hare only been in -N-, Z.r some Six weeks, judge then of my astonishment, whan on taking up my "Evening Star." last night to find detailed before lfle not otfly, a correct history of my chequered career,' but •i one j couched in such would be facetious.terms that surprise co«ld only give way to smusenjwit-T-By tne next three words that proceed from my flowing pen—l shall interest (ill.your readers, and I have little doubt take Auckland' by 'surprise lam " William Stanians?' ',■'..'. .;

Now—o Gracious reader on the principle that "i laugh and. got fut on the folly I see—And other fools can' fatten by laughing at me." I must just giro you a short account of •" a gentlemen" who has fallen." * ■■<■ *. ,*; ;.?it*;: george * .* late Lieufc-Gencra], ,82nd regiment, was as his second name implies connected with-royalty in thafc mysterious way which was bo "fashionable a hundr.ec! years ago: That tha Bellows of Blowhapd-Hall are not unknown in the Herald Office is l to obviouft a fact to require mentioning here. That the grandfather of Robert received ibe ■family estates from his king in recognition of Bis eminent services ns trumpeter to the : CoTjirt ii too well knowfl to be dwelt <ov, but his career is not,-perhaps as familiar. Jo [the Auckland Public as it should be. ; Robert, finished his 'Ifduoatipn at Woolwich and ,thero learned those, two irn'mortal ien'Uncw which form tte groundwork of his classical education,—l mean those remarkable words that appeared in last flight's " Stftr"^ * %fki, Vidi Vici," andhow-".of arms I sing, \ \the way as I have grstiiated at Lei pic Unii ;sity 1 can supply the learned gentleman kff/iththb latin quotation "Anna, vivan que Aiano," and indeed it will not be inappropriate ■*nere ss I am about to talk of- the and&unted career in arms of this " untaught and undeteated hero." , • ' i It was here at^Woolwich that Bobby passed that brilliant examination for which his papa rewarded him with'j£4sO pounds "British sterling Coin of the realm." (?) (and the price of a commission in the eighty second ljegir J#eit(?) • '■ . ; *." "••■': •The most glorioiiM, feat tliat. I. can now relate as an instance oft the pluck (and

ferocity) of our friond was when nlone and unarmed, he encountered that royal bruto the Bengal Tiger,—who inflicted on him that honorable scsir which may still bo seen on the right side, of his mouth, and now our hern thought that valour should meet its reword and as "none but tho Bravo d«sorve the Fair" he became a candidate for the hear! and hand of tho lovely and accomplished Miss " Gammon," but the brave are sometimes ficle f.ud alas! that I should have to mention it, ho was also enamoured of the charms of Miss llupoe. An action for damages resulted in the loss of the before mentioned

" British Sterling Coin of the realm." And how for a chance of continuing our friend's quotation and showing my scholarship:— " Littore mult urn ille et terris jactatus et ulto, Sea., *. * Now, Mr. Blowhard, after enduring all the privations and suffering that a gallant son of Mars is capublo of, when he became penniless resolved to return to the paternal roof and accordingly having been stowed away in the forcuastle of tho good, fine, ship, " Calcutta," he was now compelled tc pass through the further vicissitude of shipwreck ; but " O fcempora, O mores," he became enamoured of ;i lovely liouri.

And now for v few words on another friend—" Jack " —who early in lifo obtained a celebrity which seldom falls to the lot of mortals His neat proportions and delicate features having attracted the attention of an itinerant showman —Jack was offered the munificent salary of 20s per week to appear in the Ch&racter of the Essex Tom Thunib, and each night he appeared to the admiring gaze of some hundreds of yokels— With a very smart tie on his smart cravat And a smart cockade on the top of his bat.

Tallest of boy», or shortest of men — He stood in his stockings jubl. 4 foot ten." I cannot expatiate longer on the career of his celebrity suffice it to say that lionoiv earns an honest livelihood iv Auckland by sweeping out one of tho banks, and lives in the hope of one day writing the life of a man—Who has risen by being elevated to the, (for him), enormous height of an ofßoe stool—" O Kevenge thou art ever sweet"

William Staniaks.