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Auckland Star, Volume II, Issue 474, 18 July 1871, Page 2

The Transmutation of Metals. —Tho German conversion of iron into gold. "No man," said a wealthy but weak-headed barrister, " should be admitted to the bar who hadn't an independent landed property." " May I ask sir," said Curran, " how many acros make a "wise-aoro."

Soliloquized.—A servant girl who had nst been admonished by her mistress to be very careful in "washing up" the best teathings, was overheard shortly afterward?, in the back kitchen indulging in the following soliloquy, while in the act of wiping the sugar basin : "If I was to drop this 'ere basin, and was to catch it, I s'pose I shouldn't catch it; but if I was to drop it, and wasn't to catch, I reckon I just should catch it."

The Heioht of Politeness.—Mr, Henry Beneck, of Chicago, left a note for the coroner, explaining that his suicide was an act of considerateness for his wife, who was " in great want of another good husband."

A Mrs. Hannah Jones piously raised a tablet to the memory of tho departed Jones who had been a hosier, the inscription on which, after recording his many virtues, wound up with the following couplet :—

" He left Ills hose, his Hannah, and his love, To go and sing Hosannah in the i^alms above."

WhileWoinbwcU's menagerie was at Leicester a few days ago, a lioness gave birth to three line cubs, which the proprietor christened respectively " The Princess Louise," " Marquis of Lome," and " Duke of Argyll," There is a man in New York so lazy that he has an artist hired by the month to draw breath with a pencil. 'There is another man whose memory is so short, that it only reaches to bis knees, consequently he never payß for his boots.

The Melbourne Age says:—"No less tbaa sixty men we employed destroying the rabbits on the station of the late Mr. J. Culvert, near Colac. The men haye to stop all the burrows, and destroy the vermin; they are not allowed to sell or use the rabbits in any -way." The annual meeting of the ratepayer! of the Waiuku Highway District will be held on the 29fch instant, at the Agricultural Hall, Wwuku. '