CHANG THE GIANT.

Auckland Star, Volume I, Issue 246, 22 October 1870, Page 2

CHANG THE GIANT.

HIS INTERVIEW WITH PUNCH.

Chan& stood in The Presence continued ill-feeling. " Now, Big'uii, what's up ?" nsked _ Mr Punch. Observe, that with bis usual inde pendence, lie selected the smallest words for the largest auditor. Had the latter been a dwarf, Mr. Punch would probably h-ave requested an intimation of tho circumstances which had induced the requisition of that interview. - £'$;■•

Toby evinced

"-Cousin of the Star 3," said Chang, " your intolerably unworthy servant tenders you his worthless acknowledgment's of Uie priceless boon of admission to your unpar-lleled presence. He reverently Ibanks you for the extraordinary countenance you have been pleased to show him."

" Idon't know that my countenance is so extraordinary, Gigas. Fascinating, intellectual, impressive, perhaps." "Your slave's abominable vocabulary is atrociously inadequate to the occasion," said Chang"v" but lie intended to refer to the patronage which Your Eminence has been pleased to extend to him." "I always foster rising genius," said Mr. Punch, " even when it rises to the height of eight feet, or whatever you call yourself. I have immortalized you in my pages. Well, what next ?"

" The unpardonable ambition of your slave astounds himself"—

" Nothing astounds me— go it." " His abased and obnoxious soul lives in one hone only, if ho might venture to utter it."

" Utter away, then, can't you, Gigas ? Don't waste time. December days are >iot as long ns you are." ''Your graciousnoss transports your slave into a region of bliss nnd flowers. Might he, then, dare to bog that, all unworthy as hens, lie may be enrolled among the Sacred Band of Notables—the Band of your Contributors ?"

Toby signified his decided objection to the proposed addition to the Stafl". "By §Koong-Foo-Tse, whom the Jesuits call Confucius —you believe in Cenfuc.-ius, I trust, by the way ?" said Mr. Punch. " I hope, my dear Chang, you are not a proselyte of Fan-Shin, the unbeliever, 499 A.D. ?"

" Never heard of him," said Chang.

"Nor did I," said Mr. Punch, aside, "until I looked into the ' Dictionary of Dates.' I could not have entertained overtures from an atheistic giant. It is only the dwarfs whom I permit to be profane. I was going to say, Chang, that you have asked a big thing."

"Your slave is a big thing." "He is. But do you know what qualities are required in a contributor to Punch ?" " All the virtues, all the graces, all the arts, and all the sciences."

" Yes, that is all very well fora beginning," said Mr. Panel), smiling indulgently, " but there must be much more. He must have an ample fortune, that he may be removed from all sordid influences, an impressionable heart, that ho may be enabled to touch the heart of woman ;.inspiration of the highest order, that he may write poetry ; and a profound conviction that he is the only person in the <world who understands anything about anything whatsoever. Do you possess all this, Chang', my son ?,' I " Your unapproachable Eminence has taught me a golden lesson," oaid the giant, bending over the Great Teacher. "You have taught me how great you are, and how small I am." "Then," said Mr. Punch, gently, .<'l have placed you on the first step of the ladder which you would ascend. -.do —and study. It maybe that when next we meet, I,may grant your prayer. In the meantime, make this book your Ly-Zing—your manual of all the relations of life."

So saving, Mr. Punch gratified the Giant with his Forty-ninth Volume.—Tide Punch, Dec. 00, ISfiS."