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Auckland Star, Volume I, Issue 123, 1 June 1870, Page 3

New Piak of Reporting.—" You can't stand up there, " said a watchman to a thin man in a suit of rusty black, who was endeavouring to maintain a favorable position for viewing a late fire, " you must come down, sir. " " Allow me to remain, if you please: I am a reporter, and it is necesssary I should see what is going on. " I don't care, " responded the guardian, " If ye want a report of it, you 11 see it in all the papers to morrow. " "The Mtjbder Out."—A gentleman had once sent his servant with a box ticket for the tbeatre to a young lady. The servant returned while the gentleman and Jus wite were at dinner. He had been told in giving answer to certain questions to substitute the masculine for the feminine pronoun. Did yon see him? " said the gentleman, giving him the cue. Yes sir, he said he'd wait for you. ■' What was he doing ? " asked his wile carelessly. "He was putting up his back liair, was the reply. , A dispute about precedence once arose between a bishop and a judge, and after some altercation the latter thought he should confound his opponent by quoting the following passago : " For on these two hang all the law and the prophets. " "Do you not see," said the lawyer in triumph, " that even in this passage'of scripture we are mentioned first? "I graut you," says the bishop, "you hang first."

A love-lorn swain bi-oke a wish-bone with his heart's queen somewhere in New Hamp. shire. " Neow what'd you wish, Sally ? " demanded Jonathan with a tender grin of expectation. " I wish Iwashandsum, " replied the fair damsel —" handsum as Queen Victory." Jerusalem what a wish when you're handsum 'rmff* neow. But I'll tell you what I wished, Sally. I wished you was locked up in my aims, and the key was lost."