A NAUTICAL STORY.

Akaroa Mail and Banks Peninsula Advertiser, Volume V, Issue 480, 1 March 1881, Page 3

A NAUTICAL STORY.

There was sudden commotion on board the fast and favorite s.s. papier shortly after she left Blenheim for this port yesterday, says the Wellington Times of Feb. 19. She was gently steaming down the river, past the mud flats and the flax busaes, the gallant skipper on the bridge, a trusty A.B. at the helm, the decks thronged with passengers, the vessel gliding smoothly with the current, when all at once she began to yaw and veer about in the most eccentric fashion, showing a decided inclination to run her nose into the bank. " Port yourlhelm," roared the nautical Fisk. "Port it is, sir," replied the man at the wheel, ■" leastways as much as I can get her." " What d'ye mean 1 God bless you. Starboard !" roared the skipper. "Port! starboard! back her \ stop her 1 Holy snakes! we're going ashore!" "She won't answer, sir," cried the frantic helmsman. " Something's jammed—-the chains are foul." And still the s.s. Napier yawed and yawed, and let the current run away with her until Captain Fisk thought his vessel bewitched. What was the matter with her ? What devilment was m the vessel T . None could tell; passengers and crew alike were perplexed all save one,a singularly mild and inoffensive looking individual, who, squatted on the deck, sat preternaturally still, awaiting with stoical indifference the issue of events. Suddenly the vigilant skipper eyed him, and one glance revealed the mystery. To the amazement of the passengers, the skipper made a dart for the galley, came up a moment after! armed with a meat chopper, seized the inoffensive-looking passenger by the scruff of the neck, and heeling him over, amid the shrieks of the frightened females and the hurried protestations of the male passengers, aimed a desperate blow at his coat-tails, until not one alone but - "another"* "'amT another, and the affrighted passenger , suddenly uprising, scudded at high pressure speed for the saloon, and there, perturbed and scared, sat himself down where the diminishment of his wardrobe would be least ol

served. Explanation quickly followed; the tails of hid coat had got foul of the f2<Mer chains, and the constant jerking of the w ound up the broadcloth, inch by i2?k Ulltil th( * wearer of the garment could neui? r «et himself fres fom the chains or free himseif * rom . his garment. Through the activity of the crew, it shouU be said, the vessel was kept from going ashore, and soon the order "Full steam ahead" calmed all fears for her safety.. The tale of the severed "coat tail would be scarce complete without the name of the chief hero of the adventure. It was Mr Kirby, agent for Mr and Mrs Hart, of " Happy Hours " fame, and who was returning with the company after n most successful season at Blunhiem. Mr Hart has possession of the dismembered broadcloth, and also of the identical cleaver so deftly wielded by the gallant skipper, And has,serious intentions of dramatising the epjeriHe - -as a new feature in the " Happy Hours " entertainment, under the title of " "J. he whisks and fisks of a coat tale,or a nup-py.houron the Nap-i-cr.