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Akaroa Mail and Banks Peninsula Advertiser, Volume V, Issue 479, 25 February 1881, Page 3

In their" Household Departments"there are very good adjuncts to newspapeis when edited by a woman ; but the malo journalist who dabbles with the heaveninspired mysteries of cooking runs (says a Californian paper) a frightful risk. The editor of the Weekly Peculuma Peavine started a column of that kind recently, and a few days afterwards a fierce looking female came into the office, concealing some object behind her apron "Are you the man th t published that new and improved way of making currant cake? " He said he was. " You snid to mis washing soda with the flour, and stir in a little corn meal and oil to give it consistency?" •' I — l —believe so. " ''And to add fifteen eggs and some molasses, and two ounces of gum arabir. and set it in a cool place to bake ?" "Well take that- ,. And the indignant housewife knocked him down with a weapon that felt like a sand-club, but which he believed in his heart must have been a half-baked hank of cake constructed on the Peavine pattern.

They tried, says an American paper, to kill a book agent at Omaha last week. He was robbed, thrown into the river, knocked off the cars, tossed from a high bridge into the river again, ftnd in two hours he wns around with an illustrated serial trying to get a subscription from the head of the attacking party

Not long ago a new railway was opened in the Highlands. A Highlander named Donald heard of it, and bought a ticket for the first excursion. The train half the distance to the next station when a collision took place, and Donald was thrown unceremoniously into a park. After recovering his senses he made the best of his way home, when the neighbours asked him how he liked the drive. ''Oh." replied Donald, "she liked it fine, but they had an awfu' quick way in puttin' mo oot'

A Bill being under discussion in the House of Commons which greatly affected the interests of a noble family of extensive connection, the galleries were daily crowded with the feuiale relatives of the party, most of them, as may be easily imagined, full of the highest possibly attraction, as youth, beauty, wit, etc. Upon which a member got i;p and beaded to put the question to the S|>e;ik'-r —■' Whether the credit and character <>t' tlic House did not most peremptorily i-'<|<iiiv that in all their deliberations they should be five fr in any undue or exlrnor liiwuy influence ; ,\ud whether any of tb.it hniiomhle Iltcisc miiM cast their eyes up to the gallons, and say they were so at that moment. Ho -Imnld therefore, move that the bevy <>t' inMiities should immediately retire." The ladies obeyed, and have never been admitted since in the same manner.