Miscellany.

Akaroa Mail and Banks Peninsula Advertiser, Volume V, Issue 479, 25 February 1881, Page 2

Miscellany.

FATHER'S PATENT GATE.

An elderly man, pale-faced and anxious-looking, who looked as though he supped with sorrow every week, lived out on North Hill with his wife and seven lovely daughters. He has, with all these seven lovely daughters, only one front gate, and that is what makes him so pale. Last summer he spent about 217 dollars repniring that front gate,and experimenting with various kinds of hinges ; and after all that the gate swung all through the winter on a leather strap and a piece of clothes line,and therewas peace in the house and the man got fat. But when the summer began ? it soon became apparent to the man that his troubles were at hand, and anxiety soon drove the roses from his damask cheeks and robbed his ribs of their substance. He soon saw that there was nothing" for it but a new gate, and he groaned aloud as he viewed the dreary prospect of furnishing gates to support the many forms of the best young men of Burlington for another summer. Hβ pondered and pondered. He became the the confidant of carpenter* ; he was often seen guiltily showing certain plans and drawings to blacksmiths and cunning workers in iron and steel. In time he had a new gate put up—v massive gate, with great posts, ornamented and substantial, nnd the seven sisters were pleased. They rend on a little brass plate that a patent was applied and the words,' for 130 pounds,'but they didn't know what it meant until the other

evening.

Last evening the weather, though sufficiently cool to bo bracing, admitted a test of the new gate. A murmur of voices arose from the vicinity of that popular lover's retreat, as Sophronia swung idly to and fro on its heavy frame. Presently the pile-faced man, who held his hand upon his breast to still his boating heart, «s In , crouched i a dark corner of the porch, heard Rod)!phus say—'But Mieve me, Sophronia, my own hearts i-.101, between the touches of the rude hand of Ti ' As he began the word he leaned forward and bent his wight upon the gate, a id with a sh r.) cl'ck a little trap-door in the side of the post flew open, and a gaunt, many-jointed arm of steel, witha knob like a pumpkin at the end ot it, flow out, and with the rapidity of lightning,hit Itodolphus two tremendous pelts between the shoulders, 'ph-h-h ! gosh!' he roared, ' I'm stabbed ! I'm stabbed !' and without waiting to pick up his hat, he fled, shrieking for a doctor, while Sophronia rushed into the house, crying, ' Pa, pa, Rodolphus is shot," and swooned. The pale-faced man said nothing, but crept still further into the corner, and thrust his handkerchief into his mouth to stifle a laugh. Pretty soon he heard the voice of his daughter Azalea at the gate, saying good-night. But a. rich, manly voice detained her, and the measured swing of the gate was heard again in the distance. Soon he heard Lorenzo say, as he made ready to climb upon the gate—' But whatever of sorrow may await our future, dear one, I would it might fall on me——' and just as he lifted the last foot from the ground the trap-door opened, and the big knob came out and fell upon him four times, nnd every time it struck him Lorenzo yelled out, ' Oh, mercy ! Oh, murder! . And ns he ambled away in the starlight, wailing for ain : ca, Azalea fled wildly to the house crying, ♦ Pa, pa! somebody is murdering Lorenzo !' And in the porch the pale-faced man thrust the rim of his felt hat into his mouth to reinforce his handkerchief, and hugged himself with placid content.

Soon after the fifth daughter came home, and she, too, perched on the gate. In a moment or two Alphonso said— ' But, my own Miriam, would I could toll yon what I feel' but lie didn't, for just then he loaned upon the gate, and the iron clump hit tho breath so far out of him that he could not scream until he had run half-a-mile from the house. And the pale-faced man rose up out of the shadow, and as he stood under the quiet starlight, gazing at the gate, whose powerful but delicate mechanism repelled an ounce of weight over 1301b5., a look of ineffable peace stole over the pale face, and the smile that rested on the quiet features told the struggle of a life-time was'ended in victory,and a gate had been discovered that could s?t at naught the oppressions of thoughtless young people.