Miscellany.

Akaroa Mail and Banks Peninsula Advertiser, Volume V, Issue 474, 8 February 1881, Page 3

Miscellany.

ONE THING AND ANOTHER

Collated from our Exchanges

The engineer of a train near Montreal saw a large dog on the track, lie was barking furiously. The engineer blew the whistle at him, but he did not stir, and, crouching low, he was struck by the locomotive and killed. There was a bit of white muslin on the locomotive, and it attracted the attention of the engineer, who stopped his train and went back. There lay the dead dog and a dead child, which had wandered upon the track and had gone to sleep. The dog had given the signal to stop the train and had died at his post.

Several days ago a white man was .arraigned before a colored justice in America on charges of killing a man and stealing a mule. * Wall,' said tho justice, 'de facks in dis case shall be weighed wid keerfulness, an' ef I hangs yer taint no fault ob mine.' 'Judge, you have no jurisdiction to examine inc.' ' Dat sorter work 'longs ter de raigular justice, but yer see Iso been put on as a special ; a special hez de right to make a mouf at de S'prcmo Court ef ho chuses ter.' 'Do the best for me you can, Judge.' 'Dats what I'se gwine to do. I'se got two kinds of law in dis court, de Arkaisa-v, an' de Texas law. I generally gins a man de right ter choose furhisse'f. Now what law does yer want, de Texas or de ?" -'■I believe I'll take the Arkansas.' ' Wall, in dat case, I'll dismiss yer fur stealin' der mule.' ' Thank you, Judge.* ' An' hang yer fur killin' de man.' ' I believe, Judge, I'll take the Texas.' ' Wall, in dat case I dismiss yer fur killin' do man.' ' You have a good heart, Judge.' ' An' hang yer far stealin' de mule. I'll jis take de 'casion heah ter remark, dat de only difference 'tween de two laws \z de way yer state de case.' " Have you ' Blasted Hopes ?" asked . a lady of a green librarian, whose face was much swollen by the toothache. " No, ma'am, but I have a blasted toothache." " Ah, heavens!" cries Nana, sentimentally, to her visitor, " when one is adored by a magnificent captain like you, nothing can ever make her lo\e .again—unless it is a major." Mrs Cunningham at Mallctsheugh, near Newton-Mearns, is believed to be Ihe last surviving contemporary of Burns. She is in her 103 rd year, hale and vigorous, ami professes her inability to understand why people should make such a work about the " loose, drucken lallow, Burns," whom she iknow intimately. Mrs Cunningham is a native of Tarbolton.

A number of colliers have been turned out of their houses at South Moor Colliery, Durham, belongl-iig to Messrs Hedley Bros. The men had been on strike six weeks. One hundred and seventy families were turned out. The ground was covered with several inches of snow, and snow Was falling fast.

A very important discovery to naturalists has just been made in Newgate Gaol. Upon some repairs being made n petrified cat was found in a crevice of an old stonewall. It subsequently came under the notice of Mr Frank Buckland, tho eminent naturalist and editor of Land and Water, and he is of opinion that the cat must have been in this state ever since the fifteenth century. " That being so," says Mr Buckland, " I have but little doubt that it is the celebrated cat of Sir Richard Wittingfon, thrice Lord Mayor of London." 'ihe cat i exhibited in the window of the Land and Water office, and is attracting a good deal of attention.

There is a dog at Brighton—a remarkable dog—a largo Maltese. Sometimes that dog has a purple body, with a yellow head and a green tail ; sometimes he is scarlet and puce. Ho is a kinder rainbow dog. The fact is he belongs to a dyer in-the town, and being naturally white he takes any color easily and now he gets a dip in one vat, and now in another, and he forms a sort of canine advertisement. It is fun to sec this dog, who is quite unconscious of his distinguished condition, come up to other dogs wagging his yellow head and green tail, and the way that those dogs, after regarding him out of the corner of their eyrs for a minute, luck their tails between their legs and " scoot" is a caution. Some time since a gentleman who had been occasionally a victim to the " old complaint " was going down to Brighton for. the race week in great health and spirits. When driving from the station he suddenly came on this dog. ' Hallo, hey ' What's this ? Hey ! hey ! what! a purple dog with a green tail! Oh, lor ! oh, lor ! got'em again; And he turned round and went back to London, firmly persuaded that ho was again a victim to D.T.

In a Milwaukee street-car the other day a near-sighted man was hitting near the fare-box reading a newspaper, when a lady passed upthe aisle and accidentally dropped her handkerchief in the lap of the near-sighted man as she pa : d her fare She did not notice her loss, and after she had taken her seat a gentleman sitting opposite the near-sighted person hit him with his cane to call his attention to,the handkerchief. The rear-sighted man looked down, saw the white handkerchief in his lap, and immediately covered it up with his paper, blushing as he did so Then he inserted his 'hand under the paper, tuckul tie- handkerchief i» out of sight, and went on

ica tding.