A "MISPLACED ATTACHMENT."

Akaroa Mail and Banks Peninsula Advertiser, Volume V, Issue 473, 4 February 1881, Page 3

A "MISPLACED ATTACHMENT."

. — _ ■tr/" ■ l Mr Wash tub is the mafive of the g n- ] tleman who won't stop at an up-country . hotel again. It seems that the clerk ( had to get up early every morning, and i (finding difficully iv v.akiiig; built a < patent alarm-bed, in accordance with ] plans given him by Mr Edison, who 1 once stopped at his bou: c. The bed had a powerful clock-work r.ttachmont, and at a set hour it would arouse nny man that wasn't dead. The day after-they got the tiling set up in the house there was a great rush of guests, and the clerk, who wanted to accommodate Mr Washtub, gave up his bed t) him. He also forgot to shut off the alarm, and the result was that, about four o'clock in the morning, Washtub was aroused by a most terrible racket. He opened hi eyes and sat up in bed, and then he heard a voice, which came from a phonograph attachment to tho bed, exclaim —"You old mucker, pile out!" If lie had understood the thing he would have hopped out of bed and shut off the alarm. But he didn't, and thought it was burglars. So he lay down again, and pulled the covers over his head, aud thebed began to shake violently, and he thought it was an earthquake, and was terribly scared. The bed shook so that he had to cling to the mattress to keep it in ; finally the bed seemed to rise up under him, and he was hurled violently to the tloor. He tried to rise, and inst then the mattress came off upon him with great force, and floored him again. He had a terrible time getting out from under it, and just as he did so, and gave a wild yell for h'dp, a shower of ice-water came upon him, and the slats of the bed began to whack at him, and, as he could see but little in the dim light of tho room, ho thought he must have gone to sleep in a threshing machine, and someone had started it. His yells finally brought the landlord, who stopped the machine, and tried to enhu the terrified truest by explaining the thing to him. Rut the explanation only made matters worrc, for the victim lost two trains stopping over to lay for tbe clerk, who had found what he had done, and kept out of.the way.