Miscellany

Akaroa Mail and Banks Peninsula Advertiser, Volume V, Issue 469, 21 January 1881, Page 2

Miscellany

KEROSENE TIN MOSJO.

" Music hath charms to soothe the savage, To rend arock,orsplit a cabbage." — Josh Billings.

From the earliest stages to now man has devoted a large portion of his inventive genius and manipulative skill to the creation of all manner of sounding tilings, and the extraction therefrom of their characteristic sounds. We have had the trombone, tin whistle, Jew's harp, and sackbut, with hosts of others too numerous to specify ; the mere mention of some of them being sufficient to set the teeth of one's soul on edge and overwhelm it with anguish. Fortunately, , however, there is a tendency on the part . of the present generation to discard the . jingling artificialities of modern civilisation and return to instruments more ' analogous in sound to those in vogue ' amongst our remote ancestors. The noble savage in his native forest, when he feels that exhilaration and elation of • spirits which can find no outlet but by i the medium of music, selects a hollow ! tree and lustily belabours it with his ■ club until his aesthetic excitement calms i down, then folds his populous blanket i about him and clears out. His music is ■ natural, and therefore more in con- , '. sonance with the rustle of the folinge,tho babbling of the brook, the loud song of ' the blue-tail blow-fly, the modest hum ot ' the gentle mosquito ; and it is a vague, indefinite yearning after the natural ami the beautiful that impels the small boy • 1 to pick up every worn-out billy that 1 comes in bis way and extemporise a solo upon it to his own ineffiiblo ddiglit and i Iha*, of the whole neighborhood. As we li.'ive said, the tendency of the age is to return to more natural instruments. , Men and boys have played v; 01 tie fry--1 ing pan and the hones for a ]<mg time ; but it has been reserved for the manufacturers of kerosene oil, probably without intending it, to introduce an in.' t unient of music which, from its capneitv for the faithful interpretation of all the dunging i moods of the soul, surpasses the widest dreams of the most persistent advocates of natural melody. On all sides it is admitted that the best music is suggestive—that calls up naturally by its sweet and subtle insinuations the memories of the past, or weaves in the mind the silver threads of some beautiful romance. It is claimed for the productions of the great masters that, to him that hath music in his soul, by their changing rhythm, by their transitions from melancholy to gay, from low pleading tones to the grand and triumphant, they come as revelations of human agony or joy, intensified and idealised by tho beautiful medium through which they are conveyed ; and it is in this branch of mnsic that the capabilities of the kerosene, tin come out in their grandest perfection. The mind aches when it remembers that through all the ages during which it has been the custom of young men to serenade their lady loves, thousands —perhaps hundreds of thousands—have fruitlessly poured out their souls upon the lute beneath the windows of the cruel fair ones, at the hour when the tom-cat also goeth forth to sing his song of praise to his beloved, and have wasted and sunk weariedly to their graves. Flow different would have been their fate had they armed themselves with kerosene tins and sticks'of suitable length wherewith to hammer them ! One energetic .•dg solo would have, decided the matter. sj^jifW Probably the best player in the world on this grand and expressive instrument lives in our town of Westport. Latoly there was a wedding at which he attended and when he had imbibed sufficiently to cause that divine sufflation necessary to the extraction of spiritualistic music from his favorite instrument, he was pressed to perform a solo. The first few bars were hurried and irregular, as though the performer were agitated at the idea of performing in public ; but as he went on we could hear that ho was pounding out a beautiful legend. The opening symphony was in '■> the key of A flat, and the irregular notes | represented the agitated beatings of a , young man's heart as he asked his sweetheart to marry him. A burst of triumplnmt melody in G-8 time showd tie young man on his way home after being accepted, while a wonderful intermixed t.ifc, tat, tat, implied an under-current of doubt in the young iriaifsmind as to his ability to maintain "her. A masterful

"transition to E flat and an andante, movement denoted the birth of the first foiby, and another, and another, in rapid •succession—merely a crotchet resting between. A rollicking kind ot play upon the key-note indicated the husband and father returning home tight; and then \

wild outburst of savage martial music proclaimed the fact that there was a row in the house. In this part of the performance the wonderful adaptability of the kerosene tin showed itself to treble •distilled perfection. The great masters have achieved much in the expression of moods and passions, but never yet have they succeeded inpourtrayingfor us a real ', %ona fide domestic row. The sensitive far could detect the wild -battle-cry amid ■, "the tumultuous uproar, the smashing of , •crockery missiles, the commingling, ■shrieks of the babies, nnd the suggestive "thud of the poker. Another most ■effective transition to a minor key gave us one of the most appealing pieces of music it has been our lot to hear, as fall •of ear-sawing discords as any of the productions of the great masters, which •showed that she had got among his face j hair, and that he was appealing for mercy and a " continuance of past favors." Then the artist passed from the small 'concerns of domestic life to the grander phases of natural phenomena. His soul warmed to his work. The facile instrument was made to give out the round of ten thousand thunders, the roar of a million hurricanes, and a noise as if a hundred million 'hooting demons were' dancing upon one's tympanum, and then all at once the sound stopped and he fell upon his face upon the floor. Was he dead ? Had his soul gone out with the last grand burst of supernatural melody? We lifted him up tenderly. A sort of seraph-like light came into his face, and he said—"Give us a whiskey : it's darned ■dry work hamineriri' that thing."—' Westport Times,