ONE THING AND ANOTHER.

Akaroa Mail and Banks Peninsula Advertiser, Volume V, Issue 468, 18 January 1881, Page 3

ONE THING AND ANOTHER.

'(Collated from our Exchanges.)

" There, that explains where my ■clothes-line went to!" exclaimed an lowa woman, as she found her husband Sianging in the stable.

Avttul tailor (after measuring customer's arm). " Dear mo! Very -sing'lar, sir !—Exact the measurement of the ' Apoller Bolvidere,' sir!" (Customer orders a second suit.) — Punch.

" Young man," said the orator impressively, " do you want to go down to a drunkard's grave ?" " Well," replied the young man, with the careless ■grace of a man who isn't accustomed to refusing, " I don't care if I do. Whereabouts is your grave ?"

Tradesmen having dealings with the Maoris may find it to their advantage to mote a decision under the Resident Magistrates' Act, given at the R.M. •Court, Port Chalmers, by I. N. Watt, Esq., R.M. We loam that G. Wilson, ■a butcher, sued two natives for trespassing on land held by him under lease trom other natives. Defendants' solicitor applied for a nonsuit on the ground that •Sections 89 and 31 of " The Resident Magistrates' Act, 1876," had not been -complied with, inasmuch as the particulars of demand annexed to the summons was not in the Maori language, and also that the blanks in the summons were in the English instead of in the Maori language. Mr Adams, who appeared for the .plaintiff, contended that the particulars of demand could i>ofc be conrsidered as forming part of the summons, also that inasmuch as the form of sum--WTOMS in the Maori language set out in the schedule to the Act had been served on the defendants, it was not necessary the blanks in the summons should be filled up in the Maori language. The Tilairitiff was nonsuited, with costs.

He said to the dentist: " You pulls out mitout pain ?" " Certainly." * What does dat cost ?" <( One dollar." v Py Shiminey—you dinks dat don't liurt none, by gracious."

Master Tommy : " Did you always have plain bread and cheese for your dinner, Hodges ?" Hodges : " No, Master Tomms, I didn't allus 'aye the cheese ; but I'se in a good place, now and gits a matter o' nine shillun a week and you won't believe the lot o' fellows as comes a-mouchin' about mo now as wouldn't notice me when I was poor."

Tho butchers of Paris carry as a lifepreserver, not a steel or knife, but a sharpened mutton bone. it has the peculiarity to kill without drawing blood from the wound.

When a young man mmt to a neighbor's dairy to see his sweutheart, who had charge of the institution, ami asked timidly of the old man " How is the milkmaid ?" the old man very luufi-i'y slammed tho door in his face muttered, " Our milk isn't made— it's got from cows."