The Akaroa Mail. TUESDAY, OCTOBER 26.

Akaroa Mail and Banks Peninsula Advertiser, Volume V, Issue 445, 26 October 1880, Page 2

The Akaroa Mail. TUESDAY, OCTOBER 26.

" Concerning a New Broom." Under some such heading wo can imagine William Makepeace Thackeray inditing one of his delightful, chatty " Roundabout Papers." VVii.hout attempting the impossibility of emulating so eminent and unapproachable a writer, we are nevertheless tempted to give a-brief account of the adventured of a certain new broom which has lately found its way to Akaroa.

There are new brooms metaphorical, and new brooms actual. At the outset let it be distinctly understood that it is of one ot the latter we are about to speak. Our readers arc probably aware that in the lovely valley of Onuku, where the Maori kainga is located, there has been erected a native school, wherein the children of our dusky brethren and fellow citizens may receive the benefit of instruction in the three R's. It appears that in this scholastic institute that humble domestic instrument called a broom was found to be essential to due cleanliness and order. The master in charge accordingly indited a "requisition " for the article in question, and duly forwarded the same to Wellington. The letter containing the requisition was opened by some Deputy Assistant Under-Secretary, and by him transmitted to a clerk to be " recorded." The officer in question proceeded to make a precis of its contents, to number and enter it in a ponderous tome, and index it in another. This process having been gone through, the letter would find its ' way to the table of the real Under-Sce-vetary, who would promptly refer it to the Tape and Sealing-wax Department to ascertain the proper course to be adopted according to precedent. After considerable rambling and many rests by the way upon tables groaning with the weight of papers " under action," the document would finally reach the august presence of the Minister. That hon. gentleman, mindful of his promises of retrenchment made during the session, would promptly demand documentary evidence that the article was a necessity, and that its predccßSser had been returned to head-quarters in a sufficiently dilapidated condition to warrant the expenditure of public money in the purchase of a new one. Being satisfied on these heads, he would affix the magic word " approved " to the document, and by various gradations it would eventually reach the hands of some officer whoso duty it would be to procure the required desideratum. The broom having been procured, the question of transport to its destination next arose. And ' here let us at once contradict what we must characterise as a calumny against the Government. We are not ardent Ministerialists, but we like fair play. It is not true that the Hinemoa was at once ordered to get up steam to convey the broom to Akaroa. On the contrary, the Native Minister, with a zeal for retrenchment which does him infinite credit, specially detained the article until he had a cargo of Te Whiti's fencers ready, and only then forwarded it by the Government steamer to Lyttelton. Arrived at Lyttelton, it was carefully transferred to the charge of the U.S.S. Co., a small sheaf of papers having to be signed by the agent of the Company to relieve Cnpt. Fairchild of his responsibility. In due course the broom came on to Akaroa by the ss. Taiaroa, and now awaits further orders. We believe some correspondence is going on as to tho advisableness of chartering the steam launch to convey it to its destination, but at present the point is not .settled. We may leave it here to repose in peace, hoping that when it does commence its active career it will swoop remarkably clean.

Even there, however, officialdom will not have done with tlic broom. It bears

v label intimating that it emanated from the " Government Stationery Office," and is thnrefore privileged to travel " free." But in spite of this intimation we believe the U.S.S.Co. will be hard-hearted enough, to charge freight, and this will have ta be procured in the usual style of tho . Circumlocution Office'; a voucher will be:prepared. This will have to be," certified," " referred," " authorised," " examined," &c. &c. &c. and finally paid, all the ponderous machinery of Hie Treasury and Audit' departnjcnts 'being set in motion to secure this object Let us see if we can possibly form some estimate as to the cost "of this official broom before- its 'be'mg , brought into use. Cl erk's timei perusing, recording, indexing, etc.""letter—-say ... 10 G Under-Socretary — " referring," "recommending," etc lo 0 Messengers trotting round—say five hours f ... ' 5 D Mim'ster — considering and • approving (cheap at tlie price) .;. 110 Express hifs s, ' „ - '10 Wharfages (3) ... / % 0 Freight per Hinemoa (charged to Te Whiti) 0 o>o Freight per Taiaroa ... ... 2 G Stationery, postage, sundries, say 5 0 BROOM ... ... 1 6 , : .Total ... ... ...£3 2 6 This broom would have cost one and ninepence on the spot, so that it is evident that pursuing the usual red tape course, the country is saved threepence. Of course there are the other little expenses, but, then, they are not worth consideration, because they help to keep] employed that army of officials in the Wellington beehive, who might otherwise find, time hang* heavy ou their hands, and we know on the authority of Dr Watts, the intimate connection that' exists between idleness and mischief. So let us be thankful that we have a Government in power, whose motto is " Retrenchment," andif any cavillers should ever arise, who do not appreciate their heroic efforts in that direction, let us point with a glow of pride to the case of the Akaroa Native School New

Broom.