Local and General.

Akaroa Mail and Banks Peninsula Advertiser, Volume V, Issue 444, 22 October 1880, Page 2

Local and General.

A well-known sporting character residing in Akaroa has received the following unique and apparently bloodthirsty challenge :—" Little River, Oct 17. Mr , Sir, —Hearing that you have a bull-pup in your possession open to fight any dog on the Peninsula, I hereby challenge you or your dog to mortal combat for £5 or £500. I will meet you in Akaroa or Hill-top. An early answer will oblidge yours truly,— J. C. , alias Irish Jack." There is a broad generality about this that is perfectly bewildering. " You or your dog!'» Does Mr Jack desire to fight the clog himself, and if so is he to be armed with a club, as seme accused critninul was of 3'orei who claimed the ordeal of battle with a dog who had charged him with the murder of his master? Then, again, how tragic Jack becomes. " Mortal combat," quoth he. Evidently each combatant must make his will before entering the lists, and that little matters of the "five pounds or five hundred" (Jack is regardless of money as Harold Skiinpolo himself) will have te be settled by the " heirs, executors, or assigns " of one or both of them.

A meeting of tho Akaroa Model Yacht Club was hold last Friday, when it was decided to hold the annual model regatta, on which occasion the Champion Cup will be sailed for, which is at present held by Mr Burke. As it has to be won twice by the same yacht, there will be some competition before it becomes private property. Wβ hear of several new boats being built to compete for it. The regatta is to be held on Nov. 9, the Prince of Wales' Birthday, and we have no doubt if the weather is favourable, that the mosquito fleet will be worth looking at.

We are happy to be able to chronicle the addition of a considerable number of books to the Akaroa Library. By the s.s. Taiaroa, which arrived last evening, that Institute has received tho books ordered some months back from Messrs Mudie and Co. They consist of ninety-tw > volumes, and contain a varied assortment, including several new works of fiction, some highly interesting travels, biography, etc. This acquisition ought to result in the addition of a considerable number of subscribers to the Institute.

We learn that the present lambing season has been exceptionally favorable. Mr Shadbolt roports an increase of 120 per cent, and many other sheep owners find the increase to be over 100 per cent.

We understand that the machinery for Mr Armstrong's saw-mill has been got up to the place where it is intended to erect it, without the slightest mishap. It is now being fixed up under the superintendence of Mr Webb, the representative of tho Canadian firm who are supplying the machinery.

We would call our rejidors , attention to a eale of land to be held to-morrow by Messrs Wood and Co. at their rooms. The land in question is situated in the very centre of Akaroa, and from its slightly elevated position possesses the advantage of securing a view of the harbor which cannot be obstructed. Further particulars appear in our advertising columns.

By advertisement eleewherc it will be seen that Mr George Martin, of Dunedin, offers to tune and " fix up " pianos. Mr Martin occupies a place in the front rank of instrumental musicians, and we feel sure that owners of pianofortes may trust their instruments to his caro with the utmost confidence in his doing them full justice.

No business whatever lias been transacted in the fi.M. Court since our last issue. A correspondent snj's :—The ami'ia] meeting of (lie Little Eiver Cricket Club was held in the Library on the lGth inst t Several members were present, Mr H. Buchanan being in the chair. The minutes of the previous meeting were read and confirmed, and the accounts for the past season were passed as read ; a balance of £4 Is 9d was left in hand to commence the present season with. It was resolved —That Mr Smart be secretary and treasurer fer the ensuing year; that Messrs Buchanan and Kadford be captains of the club ; that a hearty vote of thanks be accorded to Mr H. Buchanan for providing a cricket field for the club ; and also to Mr Gilliatt, who kindly gave the timber to fence in the ground ; and also to Mr J. Archer for his donation to tho club. A letter was read from Mr Allan, resigning his office of President to the Club. The Secretary- was instructed to -write and ask Mr Allan to re-consider his decision. The Chairman stated he would give a bat to the highest scorer next season, and a ball to the best average bowler ; Mr Napier said he would give a bat to the highest scorer in one innings, and a ball to the best bowler in any one match, provided the winners hare paid their subscriptions by Dec. 1. Several committees having been appointed, and a vote of thanks passed to tho Chairman, the meeting adjourned.—l might state that Mr Buchanan has leased a paddock of 3 acres, near the Post Office, and has spared no expense to make it a good cricket field ; the laying-out was done by Mr Napier.

We clip the following from the S. C' Times. Perhaps it would serve to check the recurrence of such cases if the individual setting the law in motion were compelled to " pay the piper " : —" A striking instance of how the public money is expended is afforded by the case of ihe man Crowley, who was brought up at the K.M. Court here the other day, charged with failing to appear at the Geraldine R.M. Court, to answer a charge of assault. Some months ago Crowley assaulted a man at Geraldine, who took out a summons against him. Crowley failed to appear when called upon, and the presiding J.P. ordered a warrant to be issued for his arrest. No expense was spared to secure the arrest of the absconder, for the warrant having been issued was of course bound to be executed. At length after a considerable amount of hunting and telegraphing, etc., news camu that the man who was ' wanted ' was.at Duntroon, and here he was at last arrested, lie was taken to Oamaru ; remanded from thence to Timaru ; detained here two days ; and then remanded to Geraldine ; where he yesterday made his appearance beforo Messrs Postleihwaite and Fish, J.P's., and the assault having been proved he was—fined 5-< ! Tlie tracking nrid arrest of this terrible individual has cost at a moderate compulation £10, and when he is at length brought to justice the case against him is discovered to be of such a liumpeiy nature that a fine of 5a is considered a sufficient punishment. The fault Jay of course with the J.P. who ordered a warrant to issue for Crowley's arrest, without first taking the trouble to ascertain the nature of the charge against im. This, while sweeping reductions are the order ef the day, is one way how the money goes ! : '

In order to eatia c y the lust for pomp and vanity inherent in human nature, and to keep " our public men " up to time, Her Majesty the Q'teen was pleased to create a new kind of decoration with which to tickle the ears of ambitious subjects in the colonies. This wretched Bauble, unhonored by antiquity and derided at the head quarters of the empire, was conferred upon a certain gentleman a few years ago. A relation of that newly varnished member of the upper-ten was in Christchurch recently, say his name was Piinplechoek, and he met a friend in the street, with whom he conversed on the exciting topics of fashionable life in Christchurch and other great centres of population. Presently the friend enquired of Pimplecheek whether he had recently heard from Mrs Noodle, his much respected—something or other in the genealogical tree ? " Who did you say, sir ?" austerely enquired little Pimplecheek. " Mrs Noodle," replied the other, who had quite forgotten about Noodle's having been knighted for growing a unique pumpkin and an improved form of carrot, and laboured under the impression that Pimplecheek was a gentleman. The latter glared, and with a formal impressiveness quite, exhilarating to witness, said to him, " Permit me to remind you, sir, that in speaking of Sir Sheepwash Noodle's lady-wife, you should say Lady Noodle !" (The last two words were said in big capital letters). The unfortunate one who had committed this sin of omission against the Noodle family apologised to Pimplecheek—don't blame him, poor fellow, for to err 13 human ; he was also hard vp —and cursed him under his breath for an insolent young puppy who wanted kicking. No doubt a kicking might have had a salutary effect on Pimplecheek ; but what he really wanted waa that which so many of his class stand in need of—the gentle breeding which his parents could not transmit to him, and a decent education.

A classical man out in Venice Illinois) lias christened his cat " Othello, the Mewer

o£ Venice,"

The Australian Star, an Adelaide paper, writes as follows concerning the late departure of our late Governor, Sir Hercules Kobinson, from Adelaide. It was very comical to see Hercules—that is, Sir Hercules Eobinson—perched upon a chair on a hand trolly at the Semaphore Jetty being trundled along to the jetty head on the occasion of his departure last Saturday afternoon per John Elder, a spectacle tor man and the gods. Whoever invented such a mode of progression for Her Majesty's representative I don't know. Four chairs stuck on a trolly, with a piece of rope round to keep them from falling off; then a couple of hands running them down as they did an hour before sides of beef and dead sheep and cabbages, &c. Could not the steam launch have approached the inner shore steps, and Hercules and the other divinities have embarked from thence ? There was plenty of water, as the tide was over three quarters. I feel assured that the Governor of tbe Cape will long- remember his aristocratic ride on the Semaphore Jetty as a souvenir of the Jervois entertainment in South Australia.

Mb Saunders, M.H.K., has been addressing his constituents. At the conclusion of his speech he said that he took an entirely gloomy view of the financial position of the Colony. Though he did not wish to appear an alarmist, he feared they might have to repudiate their debts, and their country be brought into disgrace, and Colonists be afraid to show their faces amongst honest men. We should hope there are few such extreme alarmists as tlis gentleman. The margin between our position of being a little straitened for Ways and Means and the appalling position of national bankruptcy is so immense that we must protest against the latter being held forth as imminent or even remotely probable. Such recklessly made by our public men, are likely to do the country considerable harm, and under no circumstances can they be productive of any good effect.

A roPULAK photographer at Tcmuka put his shop on wheels tho other day and disappeared, heading towards Timaru, via Pleasant Point. He has been in the habit of enjoining the public to " secure the shadow ere the substance fades," but it is currently rumored that he has been scared away from Temuka by the appearance of a Civil servant so reduced that even his shadow could not be taken.

Of the opening of the Melbourne Exhibition the Lyttellon Times correspondent writes : —Lord Nonnanby, who, as }'ou of course know, is an inveterate punster, perpetrated quite a ghastly joke the other night. It was the eve of the Opening, ani the French sailors were busy moving some cases. "Ah ! " said his Lordship, digging George Collins Levey in the ribs, " They're by no means ready ; in fact, I may say they're far from Finistere." Levey knew that there was somo occult pleasantry in the remark, and laughed heartily, hut he had to go to Pickersgill afterwards in the bar to get it explained, and even then didn't see it. But then he is such a perfect French scholar that a mispronunciation is so much gibberish to

him