ONE THING AND ANOTHER.

Akaroa Mail and Banks Peninsula Advertiser, Volume V, Issue 421, 3 August 1880, Page 3

ONE THING AND ANOTHER.

(Collated from our Exchanges.)

A few days ago a. Justicerofl the Peace took his little son down the river on an excursion. Tho lad interviewed the man at tbe. wheel, and gathered much information relative to the business of steamboating. Presently his father joined him, and asked him how he was enjoying himself. "First-rate," was the enthusiastic reply, " I'm going to be a steamboat man, papa.",, Albright,-' responded the J.P., " but you'll have to study navigation, astronomy, aiid divefs. other sciences, in order to be a good one." The lad said nothing at the : time, but appeared to be revolving the difficulties of the case in his mind. Ha ] f an hour later he remarked, with much gravity, " Papa, I think I won't be a steamboat man ; I'd rather be a Justice of the Peace—you don't have to know anything for that."

Expensive Dissipation.—A young colonial—which means something quite, different from a young colonist—(says " JEgles" in the " Australians") noted for his prudence and meanness in money matters, was conversing with a young lady. The topic of race meetings "came up, Mr M { Angus having lately attended one. < He expressed such disaproval of that kind of amusement that the lady asked him why he disliked races. " Oh," he replied, " because they are so expensive—just fancy, my trip cost me two and sixpence I " " indeed," says his fair interlocutor, " how did yon manage to spend such a large sum ?"' " Well, you see," said the unsuspecting MA., "it cost me a shilling for cab going, and another for returning." " Yes," said Miss Velvet, " but how did you dispose of the remaining sixpence ?" " Oh," responded he in quite a gay and young-bloodish manner, " mostly booeTall dog storiee are the fashions now, and the following is mild compared to many that are current:—Dr C*lcierwood, Professor of Moral Philosophy in the University of Edinburgh, has, in his work recently published, entitled "The Relations of Mind and Brain,*' the following story of a dog : —" A dog belonging to a' 'United.. Presbyterian minister killed' tbe ; fowls while the family were at church, and buried them in! the garden. The bodies were found. The dog was taken to the garden, and immediately confessed his guilt. His master took" him to his library, and, having shut the door, began a reprimand after this fashion :-—' What a wicked thing you have done in murdering the hens I You are a minister's dog, and should have been an example to other dogs, instead of doing such a thing as this. Then this is the Sabbath day, and the deed is all the worse on account of the day on which it has been done.' Thus admonished, the dog was put out of the door, and the door shut. Next morning he was found dead. A vertinary surgeon was consulted, and declared thai the dog had died of a broken heart."