THE BEER TAX.

Akaroa Mail and Banks Peninsula Advertiser, Volume 4, Issue 405, 22 June 1880, Page 3

THE BEER TAX.

From the Saturday Advertiser. Lambton Kay, Wellington, Bth June, 1 1880.

Ppn me conshinse,, the. life; is taised out ft' me, so it is, wid Johnny and his party., I tould thirn some time ago that I'd have to sever me conrrfcckshun wid thim, bekays I like to be seen in dacient company ; but, bad scran to thim, they won't let me give up me portfoley, so they won't. Be the hokey, I'm too softhearted, so,I am, an' me colhtiges takes advantage o'me failin's. Ay coorse I know that the Ministhry couldn't stand a single day widout me, an' that's the rayson I was inj'ooced to attind the cowcass to considher the.;Majpr's Budjit. It's almost needless to inform ye that the raymodellin' ay the finanshil statemint was -jew to me. : Ay ..they hadn't taken my advice about the rayimposishun ay the Beer Tax, faix the hole* schaime o' taxashuifwould have broken down, so it would. I know me cousin Mick wiil feel mighty vexed at me ackshun in this matther, so I want ye: to tell him that private f renships must always give way to the public good, v The -Major ■ was a little rtarvous at first-about ado'ptin ? my bekays; the Beer Tax was .Misther' Balance's iday. " Luk here, "Paddy allanah," ses, hp, '.'they'll'be takin'.me for a jackdaw, in paycock's feathers, so they will," ses ho. "Well, hivermihd that, Major, me boy," ses I, " dacinter jackdaws' thin you have sthrutted abont before now in borrowed plumes," ses I. The cow-cass was, a most enjoyable intliertainment, aii' we inlivened.the politikal procaidins wid a little harmony. Most o' me collaiges are beautiful singers, an' whiniver they want a varse or two I jist sthrike thim off : a few vocal' gims. Whin we'd polished, off a few bottles of I)unviile : s ;"croini'' d' the Major burst 4nto,.iuilody as follows :— Cdnie all ye bould pathriot-frinds o' the : ■';■'. .nation,. "'-.'' '■■ Ye swipers and'gripers jist lind. me an '•, ear ; ■ ••".•'•■■-. ■ '• live hit on a beautiful bit o'taxashun, Bye tappeda fresh hogshead o' Ballance's , .■-.; Beer. • ; ,- •■•■■: The flavour's improved since the brewer first dllrew itl

I give.ye me word, , boys,.tiie liquor will . stand ;' ! <•■•'■ • Sure t am the barman that knows how to . ' do it. . . I've stuck our label on Ballance's brand. The Majir's health and song was honoured in flowin' bumpers, ana there ■was n unanimous call on Misther Dick for .a stave. Ay coorse, ye know that Tommy is frightfully bashful, an' it was wid difficulty that he consulted to warble fortli the followm' lines. I've rote them in the eilvery Dooric o' the North, just as he pronounced them :~ Ma freeris, the folk, I ken, in New Edinboro , toon— ■ . An' I n»ak the observation wi' a tear — Hae throttles seasoned weel by quid whisky running doon, They dinna fash sac niuckle aboot beer, feet the tax-come into play, Though we borrowed it from Grey. Ilk brewer loon mayfroon, and cry, "Na, • na ; it winna do ; . - Ye winna, winna, Canna, canna, Mawm tax oor brew." We called on Johnny, for a ditty, but he's got sich a bad cowld in his throat, that he caught at Leeston, ■we couldn't prevail on him to sing. The Majir offered to become his -substitute, and broke out' in a fresh place, .as follows : — . . *. ,Me Budjit is full, to the top, Jolin.Hall, ,- : ;Begorrn, on.it we will stand or fall, I've borrowed the Beer Tax from Ballance, hooray!■ . " • ■ .. ■ We may as well use up the measures of ■ , Grey; • _ Or. else we must mizzle too,, now, Or else we must mizzle too, now. There was thrimiiijous cheerin' whin the Major finished, and as he had the nixt call he axed lioUeston to favour the company wid a milody.' I may inform •ye that Misther Rolleston was the only • one o' the Ministhry who was opposed to the Beer I ax, Vekays, he sed, it wouldn't go down in Christehurch, at all, at nil. The followin' is his song:— Och, darlints, I think if this cruel tax passes', The Pilgrims I love will be rgivin' me slops ; For all me kuiistituents are fond o , tlieir glasses, An' faix they are likewise all partial to hops ; Ay coorse I'm aware of "our shortness of tiircasure, But niil'.y I fancy this is a bad move ; An' spaiisitJ' to tho pint, boys, they like a good measure, But thia won't go down wid the Pilgrimg !■ I -love, . ! Bit this won't go down wid. tlfe Pilgrims ." !i"l7i>.

We couldn't injooce Migther Bryce to exercise his lungs, so we couldn't, an.so up wid the folio win' chorus :— Beer, boys, Beer, no more of idle.sorrow. Courage, true hearts, will buer »js on our

way.; "■■"•-.■ Hops to the fore, no enn we borrow From Mother England millions we can'i

sind ye some purty littlo tit bits o fpolitikar s6andal in me nixt. .In tho mo tn remain-yer oba-i jint sarvint, PADDY MURPHY.