MISTHER MURPHY VISITS TAY WHITTY.

Akaroa Mail and Banks Peninsula Advertiser, Volume 4, Issue 397, 25 May 1880, Page 2

MISTHER MURPHY VISITS TAY WHITTY.

(From the Saturday Advertiser.)

It appears that our irrepressible friend! " Paddy Murphy " has been visiting the Maori Seer as "Royal Comishoner and. Plinny-po-tinshirry. After describingthe hospitable reception accorded him,, he says—"Ther was grate goins on intirely, an' Tay Whitty thraited molike a gintleraan, so he did. The nixi mornin' we procaided to business, an* thefollowin' is a condinsed report ay the procaidins. Afther we were lift alone in the wharry (the Wyhenas went, out to the back yard to have a game o'' .forty-fives for a plug o' tobaccy) Tay Whitty began:— , " Misther Murphy, I'm now addhressin je in yer kar-ac-ther ay plinny-po~ tinshirry—-that's the raisin I don't call, you Paddy. Now, I want to tell me, in as few words as possible, the objick ay yer misshun," ses he. ». ; "0, grate profit anVmighty chief/" ses I, puttin' on dignity, an' spaikin' afther ther own poitic fashin, hear the* words o' the high Pakeyha, Sir Herkulis,. an' his prime ear, Johnny Hall," ses I. "0, noble Pakeyha, I'm all attinshun," ses he, " spail on." ■• . " The say is broad an' wet, and the land is firm an' dhry," ses I. " Kapai, Pakeyha, me ears are open,' ,r ses he. " The great kanoose of the Maoris wor made to float, an' the fish wor made to swim," ses I. . ?' Hail, great Pakeyha ! Ton me> sowl it's thrue for ye," ses he. "The shades o mornin' are hidin' their dusky night-caps beyant the Silurian deeps, an' the man in the moon takes a lunar at the ould Jew Pether,. who gets his livin' be hawlrin' lucifers, twelve boxes a shillin'," ses I. " Wise art thou, 0 Pakeyha ; be the= lickey, ye spaik like a book," ses he..

Whin the ploughshare sinks into the soil the clay is ginerally disturbed, an' whin the seed is spread broadcast it is sown, an' rich crops are the fruits ay ji plintifiil harvest," ses I,'coming to the pint o' me missliun.

" Let yer mouth be open once more, for though I'm a great profit I'm at a slight loss to undherstand yer manin', so I am," ses Tay Whitty, lookin' mighty puzzled. "I'mtould yer a grate boy intirely for dhramcs an' visions, an' si<Jh like, 0 profit," " SalutasKuns, 0 friend Murphy. Words is words, an' whin a >man spaiks he invaryably ses something" ses he. . " Musha, bad luck to the thruer word ye've iver spoke in the hole coorse ay yer life, 0 mighty profit," ses T. " The foam comes on to the shore, an' the hills are not the valleys ; and the bones o' me ancisthors cries alowd for vingince," ses he. "Arrah, don't git in a timper, great chief," ses I. " FrhuLGrey is frind Grey, and frind Sheehan is frind Sheehan, an' cabs is cabs," ses he. "Begorra, yer a filosopher, 0 wise profit," ses I. "Whin I gaze through the misty vistas (not wax vistasVo' the past, down into the mountains of the fuchure an' behould the .lovely angels, wid wings, <sailin' through the vapor o' time, a glorious peunyrama opens itsilf to me bewildhered gaze," ses he. "Och, luk at that, now;" ses I. " I see a fierce ocean roarin' above the billows o' dispair in. the nithermost ragions, and I behould a shoal av'horridlookin' monsthers plungin' in the seethin' foam. I see thim thryin' to raich the shore,, but a glorious; army o' Maori warriors spear the accursed varmints before they get to the surf. They are dead, dead, dead ; and I behould in big brass kar-ac-thers on aich o' their foreheads the magic word, ' Landshark,' and the first monsther that led the shoal bairs. the.potent moneygvam F, W. on his cloven fins, whilst the word Piako is •engraved undher his hungry gills. An' now, now I behould a noble Pakeyha night on a white steed, plungin',through the briny braikers where the warriors are dhraggin' the landsharks ashore. He raises his phiz-sir or hilmit, and I ray-cog-nise Sir George—Sir George an' the Dbraggin. The mysthery is cleared, an' me vision fades," ses he, lookin' wairy, .and rubbin' his eyes, for all the world like leather Walker, the mayjium. " The Maoris are a noble race, oulder than Adam, an' sprung from anshint history an' ivolushun, but the Pakeyha kern over the says—" ses I. " Siler-t be thy tongue, O Pakeyha, for I feel my collar risin,' ses he. I may minshin ong passong (Frinch), that I made him a prisint ay a box o paper collars the pravious night. " Silent be thy tongue, 0 son ay a say-cook, an' hear me spaik," ses he, looking mighty fierce, wid his two eyes roulin like a mad bull in a chancy shop. " The Pakeyha's kern over the says to says our land. But the land is all covered wid my blanket, so it is, an' ther is no room for any judge or commishun to sit upon it, d'ye mind that now? The Guvmint must kum to my wharry, for I shall not go to their UTatf- r bad luck to the step," ses he. have; timed to do widout me, therefore I shall do away wid them, an' they shall be as naught. I'm tould that they have a mighty priest an' profit, named Tommydick, who has the infarnal impudince to pray for me. convarsion. But lam a graitor profit thin he. I, Tay Whitty, am a Seer while your "Tommydickr is. gettin into the Seer ah' jallow Mf,'' ses he. "Go back, 0 Pakeyha, and tell the Guvmint that I've had a vision an' a dhraime, which, be yer laive, I'll give ye in varse." The profit thin procaided to chant the followin' tangi :— I'm a profit wid a great big P, An' ruler ay the whole counthry ; I snap me finger at Guvmint taunts, An I so do, me sisthere," me cousins, an' me aunts. I had a dhraime; a pleasant dhraime. Whin iverything was still; I dhreamt I saw Sir George bring in ' ' A p'urty Native Bill ;•' He stood Up iin the House an' spoke, In tones.both loud an, high. An' Wakefield cried aloud, " Bosh! smoke 1" An' Pyke sed " All me eye. Oh Sir George an' Johnny, don't ye cry for me,, . , . J , . I'm gwine to laugh at Ghuvmint, an rule the hole counthry. I dhreamt that I got at the dodges of Hall's, ; ■ Though Rolleston stood at his side, An' all who were met in the Parliament walls . . , ~. , Had broken their pledges an lied ; The whips wor all ready to count, an most ■•'■', „ "Wor purchased widout any shame; An' I also dhreamt that the Pakeyha host Wor diddled an' gulled jist the same. I dhreamt that the people wor robb'd o' the lands, An' nights wor all wasted in sprees, An'vows that no kon-stit-u-ints could withstand , Woi broken for tips an' for foes , An' I thought that I saw an avingin Stand forth the land to claim ; _ An jist as Sir George had raygamed his post, , . I woke an' 'twas all the same. Whilst the profit wos singin' he danced an' twisted himself about like an ourangoutang, an' be-gorra I was mighty glad to get away from tilt korero wid a hole skin, for afther bed finished the tangi, he riinnrked that Ik felt "peckish an' 'ud like some nice baked Murphies." But I wasn't to b< -caught, an' here I am in Auckland safe an' sound, so I am. —Yours, &c, PADDY MURPHY.