MRS. BROWN IN AUSTRALIA.

Akaroa Mail and Banks Peninsula Advertiser, Volume 4, Issue 369, 3 February 1880, Page 2

MRS. BROWN IN AUSTRALIA.

(Australasian.)

Arrival in Melbourne.

I must say, tho' I'd been 'appy on the woyagc, I were not sorry when I 'card say as land 'ad 'otc in sight thro' the man at the wheel, tho' not wisible to the naked eye till the arternoon, as proved for to be Kangeroos Ighlands, as was once on a time the abbyridgenees, as. means the fust wild beasts as ever got anywheres afore man, and must 'aye swum across from somcwhercs, as were all' kangaroos as walks, leastways 'ops, on their tails, poor things, as is the only way as they leaps forard, as is the reasin why they've been always called by them words " Adwauce Horsetrailicr," 'cos them poor hanimals can't go back, thro' 'avin' their tails in the way, as is their strong pint, as makes delicious soup, quite as strong as any ox, and carries their young ones in a pouch afore 'em, as is only nat'ral, the same as you may see many a poor woman on the tramp with a babby at 'er back slung in a shawl, as shows as 'tnnan natur's pretty well the same all tlie world over, as is as mild as lambs till attacked, and then can tear a dog open with their claws, for fcho' their legs is short in front 'as frightful claws at the end, the same as oar cat when she'd got kittens if a strange dog come in. I must say as that there Kangeroo Ighlandis a dismal lookin' place, and quite barrin, tho' in course them as lives there don't mind, thro' bein' used to it, as the only inhabitants is a light'ouse, kangaroos, and snakes, as all gets on very well together, thro' not a interferin' with one another,, as is the best plan for naybors everywheres, as shows their sense, and it's a pity there ain't more like 'em in the world, and then there wouldn't be so many rows, as in general comes thro' parties a interferin' with one another, as , Mr Meddles ways, as lived two doors off of me in Stepney and didn't believe nothink and wanted me not to aye my children tort their kattykisms. So I says, my good man, you leave me alone to bring up my children my way, for you may be sure as I shan't come a interferin' with 'ow you briDgs up yours, as is fair play and no favor. We'ad a long way for to sail arter we seed land afore we got to a place they calls Adlid, as were named arter our Queen as come afore Queen Wictovier, as I well remembers, and as good a woman as ever drored breath, tho' certingly plain, and dressed that shabby as were called Queen Dowdyger, but did her dooty, and more than could be expected, by 'er 'usban's children, as 'adn't no claim on 'er, and yet treated 'em like 'er own.

As for 'er 'usban', he was a perfect cure, as she kep' in order thro 'avin' been a sailor, and were a regular Jack ashore as didn't know nothink about bein' a king, and 'ad a good old time on it at Winsor, and Brighton toe, as liked his joke, and always used seafarin' expressions, even afore the Queen and all the Royal family.

I've 'card wonderful tales about 'im, as was king when when this part of liorsetrailier were discovered as they named Adlid in compliment to 'is good lady as lived to'be 'is widder.

It were a blowin that fresh, and the sea that 'igh, when we got off Adlid as I wouldn't land, not to 'aye every rag of clothes drenched to the skin with seawater, as spiles everythink, 'cos in course I couldn't go ashore without bein' dressed that elegant as you did ought to be in landin' on a Royal city.

I never did see a more drowned rat than a poor lady as were about my period and a full figger, as they brought off by steam in one of them tugs with a lot of raw meat and friends with other delicacies as wanted to see the steamer. Poor soul, she couldn' get 'er leg up on the ladder, let alone come aboard, any more than me, for she couldn't be got out of that tug, and there she sat a wobblin' frightful, as kep' on a bobbin , about, and rog'lar clrowndcd 'er with the sea as she kep' a shippin', and horful ill all the while 'angin' over the side, as I thort as she'd 'aye brort 'er 'art up thro r over-reachin' 'erself, and go over all of a

'cap. Wot 'er friends was thinkin' on I can't say, for they kep' 'er there over a 'hour while they, along with other parties as 'ad come with 'er, was a lookin' over the wessel that gay, and a chattin' with their friends quite cheerful all the time as she were a holdin' on werry nigh at 'er last grasp, as the sayin' is. I must say as I scored, as the sayin' is, in stoppin' aboard, for all them as did go ashore dressed in their best, and went off a looking' so smiling' and gay, changed their tunes comin' back. As to Mrs Nudkins, she were dressed like a weddin , , and come and carneyed me into lendin , 'her my yaller shawl, as I didn't 'arf relish, but didn't like to seem to bear no malice nor 'atred in my 'art, so I let 'crave it.

While they was ashore I must allow as we didn't 'aye no great time aboard, for they was coalin' and would 'aye smothered us in that second class only the first officer, as were quite the gentleman, he come and made us all go on the fust-class deck, as were kind on 'im, but even there I got jest like a sweep for coal dust and smoke from them steamers as kep' comin' alongside with coals and all manner. I felt sorry one time I didn't go ashore, till I see the state as sonic of !.-hom p'trtins as 'ad wont back in. I were jv w;iv..'i!!a'x>v>'r ■:';■. .j..:sA it quite give 1110 ih '.■•< , --ps {■>■■■ as them little tuu ■ to.. . •■»■, and 1 ni-'vcr did «•,;'': ,-.:■' ;- : - ■ ; v would : ave got iii ■■:■.■:.'. iv-hi. they d'd h:.i.d b ■■• •; ■. - y - ■■ . ■ death atul ' '.;;•, that bad as they wiauiiu jor auatu, an i& the way with most parties at sea, as tho .

, , ~.'■■ Tds i'l course v >■in ,i. <■ i] upsets a , ii i>; the way v i\iu .vn.niK, and no s ► !(„. l t i ( l"i fiolits i= the fijime, tho' r ,<>u nun t -<<- it thio'than 'avin' the r the sense for to keep their 'cads under t water. I didn't know Mrs Nudkins a bit a when she come aboard, as I think 'ad 'ad ? a drop, for 'er bonnet was washed off 'er 1: 'cad as well as 'er 'air, and 'er clothes ' jest for all the world as if she'd been a * bathing without takin' of them off. She'd lost a shoe, and as to my yellcr shawl, c they throwed it up from the bottom of * the boat jest for all the world like a * dishclout, as I 'ad to 'ring it thro' bein' c " soaked thro' and thro', and the color of \ coffee. I could 'are shed tears when I sec it, for it were one I walued thro' being a present from them as is gone, and 'ad been dipped twice a yeller, as it took a . beautiful shade on thro' bein' fust a j Chinee as weighed pounds and a creamy , ( color when my uncle by my mother's side brought it 'ome to 'er with a jar of j preserved ginger from Chiner, where it k grows. s Mre Colegate she got it dried for me, „ and said it would dip green as good as ] new, but I'm sure it never won't, as t black will be its color, as might come in g useful ia case of mournin', 'cos black is g „ like baby linen, as you never can't tell g when they mayn't be wanted in a large c family. ] We started away from Adlid arter , dark, and I never were more disappointed a when I found as we 'ad another two ]■ days' woyage for to get to Melbung, as t does seem such a waste of time a goin' all that way round by water ; 'cos, as I ( says, why not 'aye a railway jest to run you along, the same as from Gravesend E up to town, or even Plymouth. < * Brown he were werry short in 'is ter- ■, per over my sayin' that, a tellin' me as I { were making a fool of myself in them remarks, as didn't know nothink of joggriffy. Well, 1 says it was only my thoughts, as is free all over the world, and I says as to joggriffy, any fool ] knows as you didn't never ought to go by water wherever you can go by land, £ as is bein , sworn at 'lgbgate, as is where » parties did used to swear frightful at the • 'ill as they 'ad to get over in runnin' i away to Gretny Green as called, as was runaway matches, and only mar- » ried by a blacksmith as 'ad unlimited i license, as isn't respectable in my opinion, ( without no banns nor nothink, and not even a speshul halter, as is what even them willins was obligated to 'aye as , sold their wives at Smithfield for a pot ( of beer, as wouldn't be lawful without. j .1 must say as there wasn't much to see on that coast, as blew great guns, ( as the saying is night and day, as is £ thro' Horsetrailier bein' a Highland, as , * is a portion of land totally surrounded j by water, so in course, the wind can't ■, bW itself off without comin'in contract with the sea ; and as to great guns, » they fires them in signals of distress, as i is why Mrs Nudkins is deaf on 'er lar- ■ board side thro' a settin' at the Woolwich Gardins next a fieldpiece, as were . let off in'oner of the Queen's birthday, he knocked several parties into the water and blew 'er bonnet to ribbins, and some of the waddin' into 'er ear with that force that it got wedged that; tight, and so deep, as they're afraid to „ • tamper with for fear as it might be 'er brains as they were a pullin , out by mistake. Arter a storm comes a calm, as the . sayin' is ; and I'm sure a calmer day never was as broke after that Btorm I never see. Mrs Nudkins she were a sayin'as they was all on the loook-out to ketch sight of the 'Eads of Melbung. I says, Oh! indeed. I should like to see 'em, tho' I 'ope I shan't larf. She says, you can't get to Melbung without passin , 'em.. I says, I suppose they conies out to meet the wessels in state. She says the wessels meets them. Ah! I says, and fires salutes and all manner, as must be a grand sight, as I 'opes it will be daylight when we gets up to them. (She says there's only two, as is only mounds of Hearih. I says, law bless me, I thought there were the Governor, and the lord mare, and the town clerk, and all the rest of them poteuthates as Queen Wictoria 'aye sent out 'ere for to settle matters, all a comin , to meet us on their 'cads, as they tries t , 'old up, tho , obliged to walk on 'em. bhe bust out a larfin , , and says, well, you are a new chum, and no mistake. I says 1 do not know, muni, what you are illuding to, and as to bein' a chum I ain't no chum, nor chummy neither, as ■were never one to dance with no sweeps ; that was a nasty one for 'er, as 'er father were a dustman ; but I says larfture aint 'no argymeuts, any more than jeers nor yet sneers, and as to Queen Wictoria a sendin' parties to look arter things, I ] 'aye 'card say as for two peas she'd 'aye come 'erself to 'elp in this 'ere dreadful distress as universal suffrages 'aye Irowfrht on, and will end in utter rum no doubt if it aiut put a stop to, leastways so a gentleman as 'aye been out 'ere forty years were a tellin , me. Law, she save, you're quite a pollytisliun. I pays iit», and 1 am not, tho' my good <.cntbiiiatt is, thro , a readin' of is -;;,-,;kv!v m>rv night reglar before I] ,]■ p.-.f ;is (Ley leads'im by the ' •■■:'i<; tori a com in', I'rinee of W;.!c3 :. ,-il Family :;s .., , : r ; , Ma.U;;i^l ~.,., ';.;, v ■.;"-;■'■ vouid 'avenue 'ole of the fleet a sailin' round 'er ail the time a flrin , salutes night and

day to give warnin' as she was a coinin,' and I should like to see the wessel as would dare to passer "without taldn'in sail and loworin' of 'or mainmast out,of respect am is the queen of the oshun and rules the waves, not but wot she's got too mach snnse for to go a botherin' them about any more than the lord 'igh admiral, as in ■ coin-so would obey 'er when she give the word, like Lord Nelson, if he run the 'ole fleet ashore on a rock, cos in course he would'rit like to be sent to the Tower, or even the masthead, with all the yards manned a grinnin' at 'inc. in disgrace. Not but wot Queen Wictoria's too much the lady for 'awlin' 'im over the coals, as the sayin' is aboard of her steam yott; but would just tell the Dook of Edinburrer for to give it 'im 'ot, on the quiet, as is every inch a sailor, and could talk to 'im in them ttortygal langwidge as would not sound nice in a lady's mouth. There's the 'cads, says Mrs Nudkins, jumpin' up, as'ad been a dosin', Ido believe, all the time I'd been a talkin' to 'er.

I says where ? I can't see. no 'cads. She says why them two pints of land as you can see ahead. I says pints ; why I says, they're two 'illocks, and not pints at all. Well, she says, them is the'eads. I says, if they.are I don't think much of them. Yet I was glad te see 'em, for sure enuf they was the 'cads, and a nice sail we 'ad past 'em, and so got on about sunset to Melbung, as looked all masts of ships, like the docks, in the distance. I says to Brown there's one thing as I want to know, when is it that parties turns and walks on their 'cads, 'cos all these boats as is comin' off seems right side uppermost? He says, wot are you knockin , your 'cad against ? Why, I says, nothink at present, but suppose I shall be as soon as I gets ashore ; and as to walk on it, and that's wot I want to speak to you about 'ow am I to manage it ?

Why' he says, Martha, anyone to 'ear you talk at times would think as you'd a tile off.

I says I shall want a good many on if I'm to walk on my 'cad

Now, he says, you drop it, and don t say no more to anyone, or they'll turn you into ridicule ; and he says some other time I'll explain to you how you're to keep your centre of gravity. I says, I 'opes you will, for I'm sure I shull bust out a larfin' when I gets near the shore and see parties a walkin' on their 'cads and carrying things on the soles of their feet, as might 'urt their feelins, poor things, as in course can't 'elp it any more than them as is born cripples, and I wouldn't larf at anyone as is afflicted was it ever so ; not tho' they might be black as coals or dried up like cinders, as they must be if it's that 'ot as they tells me, and when I steps ashore I shall be jest like a breathin' a fiery furniss as nobody but a mirrykul could live in, tho' I 'aye 'card say as scorpions will, as is the same as sallymanders.