HOW WE SPENT CHRISTMAS.

Akaroa Mail and Banks Peninsula Advertiser, Volume 4, Issue 359, 26 December 1879, Page 2

HOW WE SPENT CHRISTMAS.

We thought we would go out and try a skate on Christinas Day, so we purchased a fine pair of " clubs," and hied us to the park. All of us first-class citizens were there, and we determined to have a jolly time.

Upon arriving at the lake we gave a little boy a lead half-dollar to fasten our skates on, and then we started out. We struck out to the right with the right foot, then to the left with the left foot, and then the ice came up, and came very near driving our spinal column through our hat. Everybody laughed but us.

We had been quite a skater in onr youth, and we knew that we must have tripped over something, so we started off again. Ah, ha Iwe knew we could. A gust of wind had sauntered along our way, and it took us skimming over the ice right merrily. It was delicious. We looked up at the sky, and opened wide our mouth in order to fill our lungs with pure air. Pretty soon—bang! crack! A fiend m front of as had been stoopingdown to fasten his skates, and we had come upon him unawares. It almost broke us in two. It burst our suspenders, and we thought we had been siruck by lightning.

We got up to apologise, when one of those things called a small boj, who was trying to escape from a comrade who wanted to « tag " him, slid under our heels. We turned a back somersault, landed on our feet, stayed there an instant, and then took a full length photograph of ourself on the ice/ If some body had fired a brick house at us ; we couldn't hare felt worse.

Then a good Samaritan came along. He told us that he would show us how. If we had ever known how to skate it would soon come back to us. He picked us up, got in front of us, took hold of our hands, and told us to strike out. We did so, and got along first rate for a second. It;was delightful. Why hadn't wej thought of that beic— Ouch !. Our skates had been expressing a desire to get upon their heels, and the above '•' Ouch ! " is where they succeeded. Our feet went up between the Good Samaritan's legs, struck him under the chin, and then we both sat down—we on the ice, he on our stomach.

The good Samaritan called us a * * * * and told us he had a mind to " kick us full of holes." Then he left us. We endeavoured to get to land, and in doing so dropped our hat. In stooping to pick it up we sat down on it and flattened it out, like a concertina out of use. The next strike out we took we went about two mijes into the air and siting one of our skates against the back of a woman's head. She yelled murder. Her escort came np, accused us of firing a snowball at her, and pulled our nose. In trying; to break away from him we pullSd him to the ice, and his whole weight came upon our head.

It took us nearly an hour to pull for the shore. Now we smell like a drugr store, and if we ever put on another pair of skates may we be— Put that courtplaster a little lower, Sarah, and don't— O-o-hl