WHY IS IT?

Akaroa Mail and Banks Peninsula Advertiser, Volume 4, Issue 344, 4 November 1879, Page 3

WHY IS IT?

That, on the one and only day out of the whole three hundred and sixty-five I do leave my umbrella at home it is certain to rain harder and steadier than usual ?

That, on that occasion, I have by the merest accident, put on my new hat ? That, when I tell this to the wife of my bosom on my return, wet and miserable, she will say,' I told you no ? That,'on that solitary* occasion in the whole of mj , chequered career that I do happen to want a policeman, no policeman is to be found? • .

' That, if I most particularly want to get up one morning earlier than usual, on that particular morning I will be certain sure to oversleep myself ? _ • That, when I ask a friend to oblige me, iust for once in a way,' with the loan of live pounds, ] >c should have left his cheque book at home? ■'..->'•' Then when I complain to my landlady about my tea-kettle" not boiling, she will infalliably remark—'lt have a-boiled,sir? . That, when I am later than usual down to breakfast in the morning, when my tea is horribly weak, my bacon cold, my toast leathery, and when I am particularly worried by the .morning post's business letters, my wife will, catch . hold of my cost tails,-as 1-am just leaving for the City, and ask me for a ' little cheque ?' .That, when 1 tell a'person :I am exceedingly obliged- to iiim, : he should immediately esclaim —' No, not at all ?' ' That, whenever I do happen to cough, yawn, or use my pockethandkerchief in church, at least a. round dozen others should imitate ray example ? That the one and only girl I ever really loved, the ideal of my salad days, should at forty, be such a very .remarkable plain and commonplace sort of party ?— Judy.