A BASHFUL YOUNG MAN.

Akaroa Mail and Banks Peninsula Advertiser, Volume 4, Issue 339, 17 October 1879, Page 3

A BASHFUL YOUNG MAN.

Recently, says the Virginia 1 " City Chronicle, a strong, healthy-looking young man entered the County Clerk's Office, and' gazed respectfully around. Harry Thompson, the chief deputy, stepped up and blandly inquired of the stranger if he wished any business transacted. - J The youug man, when spoken -to; started back as though dreading an assault, but he soon recovered himself, and said in a whisper: - . ] " Yes, sir—l called to see—l wanted to , have a little talk—how much is it, any- , how?" i

He had a soft cloth hat in .bis hand, and' kept turning and twisting it about as he spoke; his face had grown ■ terribly red, and big drops of perspiration .Were standing on his brow. " What is that you want ?.'! inquired the clerk.

The man looked at him pleadingly, but struggled in vain for utterance. - His eyes bulged out, his face grew redder, and the veins in bis neck and on his forehead swelled till they looked like great'knotted cords. He twisted his hat convulsively, and then straightened it out again, and then he pu-led the new lining ■ out of it, and dropped it on the floor. When lie picked it up all dusty from the floor he wiped his steaming face,- leaving a dirty streak after each wipe. Finally, it seemed as though the poor young man had quite recovered himself, for he looked cheerfully around the room, and then turning to Mr Thompson, remarked in a pleasant and conversational tone : • ..-. -

" Well, it is real warm for this .section, isn't'it?"- : r V - :,; ," : '.,':'

" Veiy warm, indeed, "replied MfThomp-

"It is a good deal hotter than we have it down in the valley; and: somehow "I've always had just the other notion about it, — that the higher up you got the cooler,"— J 7 '■ .:!:.'.•■ ; J '.;''.•• ; " Yes," said Mr- Thompson,; !' but about that business of yours ?" . Another fiery blush that looked as,if it would scorch the collar off-his neck followed this remark, but tlie stranger held up bravely. He leaned on the desk in an. easy, careless way, and began to. toy with a mucilage brush. "The fact of the matter is I wanted to—" , - ' '■■'•'■■ *' : ■ . Here he paused again and meditatively jammed the mucilage brush into the inkstand. " What the devil are you doing with that brush?" asked the clerk somewhat impatiently. v "Ohj, by 'George-r-excuse me I" stammered the man, as he-withdreW the brush, spattering the ink all over the .clerk's shirt bosom, and, as if it had been molasses dripping from his fingers, thrust the brush into his mouth, daubing -himself with ink and mucilage, and then bolted from the office. ■'■':.., "That's about the worst case I ha-Ve seen,"" remarked Mr Thompson, as he wiped a big ink-sp^from .the starboard side of his-Roma'h : hose.' bedbug," said Alderman Orndof, who;had been an interested spectator of the whole scene. . "No, he?s not,exactly crazy," replied the clerk. "Iknew frOtn the start that he wanted a marriage license, and, I thought I would have': a !: .4ittle quiet fun, but he's broke the line how\and gone off with the hook.'* , ..., r '-■ . ..,..,_• It is a well-knSwh fact that nine-tenths of our friends at Home are in almost total ignorance pf the geography and nature of the Australasian Colonies. Every, one knows how- the ■ Nottingham natives crowded to see whether the Australian cricketers .were black or white, and an instance of ignorance almost as amusing is voached for 7by the Melbourne /. correspondent of the: Tablet :—-'•' A young gentleman of corisiderable, private means was ordered.by his medical, adviser a trip to New Zealand. 'The directions, he received on leaving,the £atsThal roof wereclear and simple---*Qn:arnvingat Melbourne proceed at once fo Dunedin, the capital of , New Zealand. 1 ;V Your "joTirriey a§;f«r as 'Brisbane will be upon <]aiatels, which have been found the only: animals it is ipossible'to employ■ on;_accodirt:of country lying betw#eb Victoria and' New Zealand. Arrived, at' Brisban- you will 'proceed by train direct :to rlJiiiiediiu' "'.; Oar ' : a'uthoiity does not add whether tbe .young, man : was likely to reach New Zealand 'dr not. ; '

Mahomed said-^'to/carry'ji Corpse is meritorious: ,ho who does,so during forty paces obtains the . expiation of a great sin. . *■ ' Napoleon 1., on escaping from Elba, published a list, condemning certain persons to death ; the first on the roster was an individual named "Lynch." The'following are the lengths per cwt, and weights per mile, of different-sized fencing.wire:— . - • . ' Na. &— 276 yards in 1 cwt No. 5— 332 . „ ' No!" 6—'396 ■ „ No." 7--479 y No. 8— 573 -Ji So. 9— 819 ; • „ No. 980 No. 11—1059 „ ■, No. J2—1393 No. 14—2322 ~ No.. 4—Weight per mile—724ib No. 5 „ 594 ft -No. 6 „ 4981b ■ '%o:,''7""\7"' n ■ .4iiib "No. 8 .„ . . 344 ft -No; '9'" r „" 2901b No. 10'" „ 241 ib No; lie ' : „ ' 1861b No.. 12", . „ 1421b No. 14 •' ■ „ ' 85ft The champjon.lopg-nosed man resides at Sacramerito". Its owner was at break-. fast, when a friend, seated on the opposite side of the tabic, knowing' him to be a little near-sighled, remarked—" There's a fly on the end of your i:o?c." "Is there?" responded the owner of Ihe horn of plenty, '* I didn't know it. Just picnic scare him off; ycro're nearer \a him than I am."

|| -" Sarah have-any of those mischievious been playing with the piano while |!l have been out of town? Some of the keys wont sound at' all." Please mum, nothink about it,-leastwise L Master" Tom said theije ' was. something. ! wrong- with it, which''he was sure" there. was a 'mouse in it. So he got Joe to hold up ithe it-over, while- he put the dog 'and cat into it; but instead of catchinl the mouse, mum they took to figbtin', and did ■ make Mich a funny noise in among the w j res —so mayby.-mum, the mouse iB there still, mum!"