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Akaroa Mail and Banks Peninsula Advertiser, Volume 4, Issue 332, 23 September 1879, Page 3

A stone-cutter once received from a German the following epitaph, to.be engraved on the tomb-stone of his deceased wife : ". My vife Susan is dead ;;if ishe had lif till' next Friday, she'd been dead youst two weeks. As a tree fall, stand.,' Thomas Carlyle, in ' his own quaint fashion, shows the British workman who is his taskmaster, and the passage is characteristicts of the Chelsea philosopher :—" No man opposes thee, 0 free and independent franchiser ? But do.es not this stupid pewter pot oppose thee ? No son of Adam can bid thee.pome or go, but; that absurd pot of heavy wet can and doesl Thou art the thrall, not of Cedric or Saxon, but of thy own brutal ajppetitep and this accursed dish of liquors. ' And thou pratest thy ' liberty,' thou entire blockhead!" When a man gives five shillings to a charity lie likes to see his name in print, and he goes on at a frightful rate if the newspapers " don't publish the news," but when he kicks up a row in the street and is run in by the police and his name adorns tbe lbcal columns, he says, these newspapers are searching around, printing every confounded thing they can get hold of.