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Akaroa Mail and Banks Peninsula Advertiser, Volume 4, Issue 321, 15 August 1879, Page 2

We buy of those that advertise.—The London correspondent of the Cincinnati Enquirer tells the following story. The moral will be obvious to those who' have anything to sell:—ln Paris, last summer, I saw a friend of mine,'who had just come over, using a pen of peculiar construction, designed with special reference to those untidy persons who, like myself, ink their fingers when they write. . Now, my. friend is a man whose hands are as white asliliea, with finger-nails like rosebuds m tintnoticeable hands, even remarkable} considering that he is an elderly man, and who occasionally helps with the lighter work on his farm in Nebraska. Catehhim inking his fingers!" Why, where did you get that nice pen ?" I asked him, a vista of blissful exemption from an uninked middle fingeropening on my joyous expectant mind. " In Omaha ? " he answered. " It's the nicest thing..- I ! ÜBed» to ink my fingers before Igot it!" He .did t He inked his fingers 1 That was enough for me. I got the name of the merchant from whom he bought the pen, the price of it, and enclosing the money, I sent from Paris to Omaha for the pen. By the last steamer it came to me.; The stationer at Omaha was out of them, but he sent to Sioux City to the man that advertises them for another lot; And now here is where the laugh comes in. The pens are ap English invention, and tons of be bought in London if At the stationer's nest "door I got what . I had sent after-io'Sioux City. But how could I know that? I dealt with the man that advertised.

The' following is an account of a wonderful automaton at present being exhibited in Great Britaini—By far the greatest attrac-, tion just now in Mr Du. Val'sbill of fare — a&'item which is thoroughly relished—is the exhibition of " Ah Sinn," the Heathen Chinee. Ah Sinn is a very wonderful automaton, deriving motive power fro rathe most ingenious arrangement of concealed mechanism that (so far- we are aware) has hitherto been brought to bear .on the surprising movements of androids! The little automatic man looks a veritable Heathen Chinee, with the difference that he is much smaller than the pig-tailed type that has been so long exciting the vrath of brother Jonathan. Ah Sinn is a dwarfish manikin, sbout fifty ■ pounds ■weight, and so small as to preclude the suspicion that he could have a thinking being tecreted in his.inside,'as many automatons of antiquity had. He is usually to be seen perched on a- hollow _ box, resting en a tiansparent glass cylinder, Which is placed on a pedestal that is supported on three legs: ; It would be utterly impossible for the closest observer to divine whence the motive power is driven ; yet the motive power is there, and in such perfection too that it is difficult for one looking at Ah Sinn,showing off his abilities to shut out the idea that this model Chinee is not really endowed with life and thought. He can't talk, but with bis left hand he can make signals on. a bell almost as wellas if he did. At a competitive examination he would be sure to get high marks in arithmetic, for 'ho ; can calculate to a nicety. On a racecourse he would make a fortune'with a 1 Soap-box and a pack of cards, for he can make the most accomplished whist" player look a fool when playing against him in a game. It appears that this genius, in company with his propritor, a Mr C. H. Duval, is about paying a visit to Australia and New Zealand.

A P'inted Hint.—Knowing visitor (about to sail—" Wind about nor*nor-west, eh ?" FirsS fisherman—"Aye, sir, might be a pint or two more to the west, eh, Jimmy? Second ditto—" Ob ! don't make no difference—a pint or two won't hurt none on us."— Fun. A young lady gave her rinking experience as follows :—" You ought to have seen me," said the vivacious young lady to the new minister, " I'd just got the skates on and made a start, when down I came ori , n y " « Maggie," said her mother. "What? Oh, it was too funny! One skate went one way, and the other'n t'other way, and I came on my " "Margaret!" reprovingly spoke her father. " Well, what ? They scooted out from under me, and down I came on my " " Margaret I" yelled both the parents. '• On my little brother, who had me by the band, and like to have smashed him. Now, what's the matter?" The girl's mother emerged from behind the coffee pot, a sigh of relief escaped from the minister, and the old gentleman adroitly turned the conversation into a political channel.