ONE THING AND ANOTHER.

Akaroa Mail and Banks Peninsula Advertiser, Volume 4, Issue 315, 25 July 1879, Page 3

ONE THING AND ANOTHER.

- (Collated from our Exchanges.)

Probably one of the greatest problems of this age is a mule. Although volumes have been written on the mule yet the accident statistics show that he is as little understood as ever. How to mix kindness and firmness in the proper proportions and then apply the concoction "successfully to an energetic mule is one pf " those things no fellow can find out." The mule is deceitful and' desperately wicked. It knows no north, no south, no west, no east, in the rigid impartiality with which it bestows its favors. In trying to solve the . mule problem^very many, wise men have been baffled, and .likewise knocked into a demoralized heap in the opposite corner of the stable from which the mule stood. And yet how strange it is that after all these years of. . ineffectual research that the true solution 6± the" vexed question should be discovered by a small.boy. This little fellow while playing near a mule was, by means of that animal's method o£ rapid transit, suddenly landed in a neighboring field. When he recovered from the' emotion caused by so nnexpected : an event, he managed to insinuate himself into the mule's affections, taking care, however, always to keep at the correct end of the mule. Finally the innocent and unsuspicious quadruped was firmly tied to a tree, under whose shades were several hives of bees. The mule brought disaster upon himself by kicking over a hive just by way of recreation. The combat that ensued was dreadful to behold.. The boy is not quite certain whether the bees or the mule won the victory. He thinks it was the mule, because when the owner came after the body, there was not. a vestige of the hives to be seen, and the bees had all. disappeared, while the remains of the mule still occupied the battle field.

The monthly Parihaka meeting is an expensive luxury which the natives indulge into the neglect of their ordinary pursuits. The time .occupied in going to and returning from Parihaka, as well as. their stay of generally a week with the prophet, leaves them very little time to see about planting crops or performing any. profitable labor. They live without any care for the fnture. They are provided with money by means best known to themselves, bnt not quite understood by the majority of the Colonists. When one looks at the abundant supplies the natives have at' these Parihaka gatherings, the questions suggest themselves: Who pays for all this ? How do the natives get the money ? They can afford to waste their time in a manner that would soon bring utter starvation upon a European community, yet they are free from any kind of poverty—they revel in apparent abundance. How can these things be? It is a singular anomaly for the natives to wish the Europeans to leave New Zealand, when they derive all their ease and comforts through the presence of the Europeans. Of what value would their lands be if they had all New Zealand to themselves ? They would be compelled to perform much more laborious work than they do,now, without any of the comforts they at present enjoying. The subject is fraught with deep interest to everyone, and it is the- most important question awaiting the consideration of Parliament. We want careful deliberation* upon the matter; it cannot be shelved any longer. The rights of the natives must be ascertained; we must accord them those rights, and put a stop to their ridiculously exorbitant claims.

;We hear that several of the natives, being very dissatisfied at the prisoners not being released by supernatural influence, after three days' imprisonment, have visited Parihaka, and seen Te Whiti on the matter. The prophet, ever ready. with an excuse, has told these misguided Maoris that they would have to procure rams horns, and blow them outside the prisons' where the natives are confined, when the walls, like those of Jericho, before Which Joshua and his seven priests stood, would fall and release all the prisoners. It is said that \he natives are busy hunting for •' rams' horns," and when they find Borne they will no doubt devote their leisura hours to learning "how to get a sound from them.

" Alcohol will clean silver." Yes alcohol well stuck to will clean out all the silver you have. The ladies are all opposed to the telephone. They don't care to have a young, fellow whispering in their ears with his mputh twenty miles away. A cheerful old woman named Heromina, claiming to be a relation of Te Whiti, has just been committed to the lunatic asylum at; Napier by tne Wairoa magistrates. Several natives (says the Free Press) deposed that the prisoner was of unsoud mind, and had an objectionable habit of setting their houses on fire. She was also addicted to desecrating graves, and. using the fences round them for cooking purposes. She had also- been . known : to dig up skeletons, and carry parts of them about with. her. Mr F. F. Ormond, legally qualified medical practitioner, deposed that prisoner was hot safe to beat large. The unfortunate lunatic, who had nothing on but,a dirty old piece of .calico, commenced togiggle arid go through some extraordinary antics, when her vagarieß were cut short by an order-being, made for her committal to the lnnatic asylum as already stated.

Eleven thousand two hundred pounds is a princely amount to win in stakes alone during a year, but to win that amount in four days is, until Lord Falmouth's racehorses won his lordship that amount in the past week, totally unprecedented in the annals of the turf. To win both the Two thousand and One Thousand Guineas is also without, precedent, the nearest approach being when Mr Graham's Formosa, in 1868, ran a dead heat with Moslem for the Two Thousand, and subsequently won the One Thousand Guineas. When Baron Rothchild won the Derby and Oaks in the same week in 1871 with Favonius and Hannah respectively, his total winnings fell just short of Lord Falmouth's this last week, as, in addition to the sums won by Charibert and Wheel of Fortune, Ringleader and Muley JEdris added their mite by each winning a race. Like the late j Baron Rothchild, Lord Falmouth breedß his own racehorses, and it is an interesting | fact in statistics, that home or privately | bred animals have, during the last twenty years, carried nearly all before them in '..the classic races.

.There are pleasant reports from Cyprus. Trade is stagnant. The crops are drying up. The sky is like brass. The earth is like iron. There is great mortality among the cattle. The peasants have commenced to eat the nauseous dog-root in lieu <f bread. It is reported that the Goverment will collect the tithes in Turkish fashion, which will result in certain loss to them. Altogether, the policy of annexation seems to be eminently successful.